fighting my reality.

My mind has been running away faster lately. I couldn't even get off of my couch yesterday. I'd stare through the entry way to the rest of the house and I'd see the silhouettes darting back and forth. This, to me, is normal. Every time I thought of going to the restroom or to get up and change into comfortable clothes, I'd hear the loud hum and I could see it stand in my line of vision.

I sat there for hours before enough light streamed through the window. I have a problem with outside light. If all I can see in the window is the reflection of my house, I find it hard to believe that outside is even there. Night time can sometimes fuel my paranoia. I'm not scared of the dark. I just feel that if I can see the shadows, even in the dark, that they have to be there. So I stay where I can see everything around me.

My reality has become very little sleep and forced interaction. I'm not sure what else to do.

Welcome to the Community, charlie'olts. A hard way to live. You are in my thoughts.

I think your next step is to get someone to drive you to the doctor where you can discuss what you have written here.

Today wasn't much better. I had to work today and I had to take a physical test. I didn't do so well running, and I knew it about a quarter mile in and I couldn't focus. The hum I mentioned earlier is talking in a low register thats hard to hear. sometimes. It is never just a hum when I mess up. Then everyone at work always has something to say be it a joke or trying to make me feel inferior. I'm the youngest person there so I get picked on a lot. It wouldn't bother me if it didn't make the hum come back. I don't care what they say, but I get angry fast when it triggers something.