People Going Away

Weather someone "announces" they are leaving because they are "seeking attention" or because they are having "other issues" going on really doesnt matter to me. I know that in either case the person is in need of help. Maybe such a person can not come out and say....Please Help Me, I AM LONLEY. I know we all can identify with that. There are plenty of times where I wanted and needed such attention because I was feeling very badley.

I resolve to substitute "I am lonely" or "I am hurt" if/when I ever get the idea that I should just leave this site.

Good translation, JMo!

The age old question rears it's ugly head. Where does "help" and/or "support" end and Enabling begin?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jmo531 said:
Weather someone "announces" they are leaving because they are "seeking attention" or because they are having "other issues" going on really doesnt matter to me. I know that in either case the person is in need of help. Maybe such a person can not come out and say....Please Help Me, I AM LONLEY. I know we all can identify with that. There are plenty of times where I wanted and needed such attention because I was feeling very badley.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree Jen and LMO Your ideas are right on the mark!! Thanks for putting it in words, though they are very simple, it takes alot to say sometimes.

Hugz~
Bethy

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jmo531 said:
Weather someone "announces" they are leaving because they are "seeking attention" or because they are having "other issues" going on really doesnt matter to me. I know that in either case the person is in need of help. Maybe such a person can not come out and say....Please Help Me, I AM LONLEY. I know we all can identify with that. There are plenty of times where I wanted and needed such attention because I was feeling very badley.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I want to quote you as well Jen. Your words express my feelings exactly.

Thanks

M.

As I continue to follow this post I only see one person who is negative and cannot come to terms with the fact that some people are emotionally incapable of saying "I feel alone" or "I hurt" or "I need help". They were not taught it was okay to express these feelings while they were growing up. Most likely when they tried to express these feelings they were told to shut up or get over it or something to that effect.
We do not live in a perfect mental health world here where everyone is politically correct or emotes in the best way possible.
I could see if this was a site based on your favorite movie or a hobby you have and someone kept saying "Goodbye" etc but then was fishing for people calling them back.
This is a mental health site...where some people are stable one day and totally off balance the next because of the torment that goes on in their mind.
We cannot judge another persons action of first saying they are going to leave and then not leaving or coming back after a short time.
Let us embrace the person/persons and be gentle with them as they are going through something we cannot always understand!!!

Myself, I don't respond to those posts either for my own sanity! I can't allow myself to buy into it one way or the other. If I did, it would be "allowing myself" to be triggered. I would hop onto the roller coaster ride of my own free will. Why would I want to do THAT????

That doesn't mean that I totally discount those that say they need a break from the site. From my own experience, I know we have to do that sometimes for whatever reason. Just wanted to make that clear.

yup I understand that. I used to get triggered everytime on another website by responding to these type of posts because it kept happening and I would take their leaving personally. now I don't. Thats why I say their coming to websites like this didn't depend on me so their leaving doesn't depend on me. getting back on that rollercoaster is not a good thing. take care.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
their coming to websites like this didn't depend on me so their leaving doesn't depend on me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Right on!!!

thanks.

I understand Tomi, I do understand what you are saying. I was triggered a while back when someone left. Made me feel very abandoned and alone. Although, what I was going through probably wasnt nearly as bad as the person who left was going through.

I also must say that Susan was right on the money with people having a difficult time expressing their needs because of childhood experiences. I know how that can be first hand.