[yellowted]

last week I took on a new Personal assistant to help with my personal care, house and assist me to and in swimming because of my physical limitations. I always wear a locket which was given to me by a family I nannied for 15 years, it was solid hallmarked silver with a large flat pearl oval front about 1.5 inches in size, not a cheap piece of jewelry, It had inside the only small picture of my late partner and lock of his hair i had left. whilst changing to swim she took it off me at my request, I assumed she put it in a safe place in my handbag so after swimming was not worried when it was not put back on, only when i tried to find it, it is no where to be found in either my handbag or swim bag. I broached this with her asking where she put it only to be told she does not know!
not only has she lost it but today I found an important letter which was in my bedroom at the bottom of the dustbin covered in Tea bags (i do not even drink tea!) and to top it off when i came to bed she had switched on a plug in radiator and left it on all day so not only wasting electricity but boiling my bedroom to an uncomfortable level!
she also lied about her driving ability, not mentioning 6 points on her licence which would raise my insurance by £150 per month if i were to add her to my car insurance! the job discription included that i needed someone to drive my car!
but to her defence she is punctual, cheerful and good handling and bathing me.
not sure if i should stop the trial period before she 'looses' or throws out anything else important or if i should give her a second chance with a warning .

If it's not too much trouble for you, I would personally find a new personal assistant. She definitely seems shady to me, but then again, I'm not the most trusting person.

I hope you are able to find your locket!

[missbelle]

Hmm..punctual and cheerful.....I think some of our mass murderers were also that!! Do I have to hit you over the head......find another one before something else happens.....!!!!
We love ya and don't want anything else to wind up missing or go wrong!!!
Hugs;

[siriushousewife]

You need to be able to fully trust anyone who is assisting you, especially someone who is in your home and driving your vehicle. If you don't feel you can trust her, it's probably worth the effort of hiring a new person!

[yellowted]

Thankyou all, you are right, i should find a new one, I just do not want another month without a PA, it is really difficult for me to cope with phone calls, interviews and time without PA help because i live alone with no family of friends to physically support me. I am unable to sit up unsupported, am wheelchair bound, and unable to co-ordinate my hands to mention a few things (i use a talk typer to interact with my computer)

Originally Posted by yellowted

Thankyou all, you are right, i should find a new one, I just do not want another month without a PA, it is really difficult for me to cope with phone calls, interviews and time without PA help because i live alone with no family of friends to physically support me. I am unable to sit up unsupported, am wheelchair bound, and unable to co-ordinate my hands to mention a few things (i use a talk typer to interact with my computer)

I'm not sure how the health care system is in the UK, but is there perhaps any free services available that would provide a temporary PA until you can find a new one? It seems like you should definitely qualify for free personal assistance.

[(JD)]

I surely hope you reported the theft/loss to the superior and made it a matter of record. Also, call the police and file a loss report. This is important, trust me. I had to help mom with her attendants....

Yes, you need a new PCA. If you have to wait for a new one to be assigned, then tell them to go ahead while you keep this one...but she must clean and work in the same room you are in. It's a hassle, but it will work. Don't allow her to bring anything in (purse etc) and she doesn't take anything out, even trash.

Sorry, I can't figure out, is the pool at your home? Then send her about searching for the missing item. Inform her you've filed a report with the police. I bet she finds it the next week (brings it back???) Have her call the pawn shops for you, giving the description This way she knows you take these things seriously. If you found something where it shouldn't be and she shouldn't have handled it, then cover that in the sit down talk when she returns. You should sit her down and talk for 5 minutes at least each time she comes. Share what you like what she is doing and what needs more attention etc.

It's really tough working with PCAs. I have one myself now, and though she's a gem, I have to still "sit on her" from time to time. And then...some things just are. The closet rail fell the week before when she was here, and I got it back up. Then last week after discussing it with her, she comes out after an hour and said bad news: not only did the shelf fall, but it took the one below it out. Sorry, I tugged on them and nothing pulled from the wall..... she must have leaned and pulled on them for it to fall. I replaced them with cubicle clothes holders

anyway... I rambled. You are the employer ... she's the employee. She will take advantage if you let her. They become lackidaisical (like we do when doing housework?)

[gma45]

I am sorry you are having trouble finding good help. Everyone has given you good advice sorry if I am repeating. I just wanted you to know I care also.I would try and find a new personal assistant if you can also I don't think I would want someone driving me around with that kind of record. Be safe!

[yellowted]

Originally Posted by (JD)

I surely hope you reported the theft/loss to the superior and made it a matter of record. Also, call the police and file a loss report. This is important, trust me. I had to help mom with her attendants....

Yes, you need a new PCA. If you have to wait for a new one to be assigned, then tell them to go ahead while you keep this one...but she must clean and work in the same room you are in. It's a hassle, but it will work. Don't allow her to bring anything in (purse etc) and she doesn't take anything out, even trash.

Sorry, I can't figure out, is the pool at your home? Then send her about searching for the missing item. Inform her you've filed a report with the police. I bet she finds it the next week (brings it back???) Have her call the pawn shops for you, giving the description This way she knows you take these things seriously. If you found something where it shouldn't be and she shouldn't have handled it, then cover that in the sit down talk when she returns. You should sit her down and talk for 5 minutes at least each time she comes. Share what you like what she is doing and what needs more attention etc.

It's really tough working with PCAs. I have one myself now, and though she's a gem, I have to still "sit on her" from time to time. And then...some things just are. The closet rail fell the week before when she was here, and I got it back up. Then last week after discussing it with her, she comes out after an hour and said bad news: not only did the shelf fall, but it took the one below it out. Sorry, I tugged on them and nothing pulled from the wall..... she must have leaned and pulled on them for it to fall. I replaced them with cubicle clothes holders

anyway... I rambled. You are the employer ... she's the employee. She will take advantage if you let her. They become lackidaisical (like we do when doing housework?)

She does not have a superior, she is self employed not agency staff. the pool is the local public swimming pool, i had her call them to check lost property and checked her car myself as that is how we travelled to and from the pool, I had words with her about asking me before binning things especially letters as some are important ones. Unfortunately i need her to put the rubbish out as I am unable to do this myself, I explained to her that when in my home or working for me she needs to respect me and my things no matter what they are, and about this being a responsible job not a bit of fun.
I always thank / praise my PAs good works, and aswell as constant chat i have regular sit down chat time most mornings where we discuss things i wish doing and things i requested which were not done or not to my standards. I have just designed a PA diary which will be used by us to evidence what i request and expect, and what my PA has actually done each day, it will serve as evidence to the council how i am spending my Direct payment money too.
I think she realises she has not been treating this as a job of responsibility because she was much more serious today, she really looked upset about loosing my locket when the pool said it had not been handed in.
I am still looking for a new PA though, because regardless of her doings or regret, i need a driver and someone i can trust to be responsible.
I know exactly what you mean about the closet rail / shelves, PAs always seem to think you will not notice or find out when they break things, I do not know why that is but it is a very common trait in PAs. I always make a big thing of the fact that although i may get upset when things get broken I prefer that to finding out later myself as nothing upsets me more than realising i can not trust my PAs. in fact it is in the contract i drew up and is a warnable offence to not disclose a breakage to me.

[kcmic]

I hope you find your locket!! If you are for one second second guessing this woman's honesty or integrity, FIND SOMEONE ELSE!! You have to be able to TOTALLY trust whomever you chose as an aide and it seems like she's already given you reason not to trust her! Good Luck!

[wing]

So sorry you lost the locket, that's awful. I would Definitely report the "loss" to her agency and ask to be reassigned.