[madisgram]

i may be missing a vital strategy to wellness. after reading this article it gives me new tools of discovery about myself.

Published on September 24, 2011 by Ken Page, LCSW
Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.
I've found that the very qualities we're most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love. I call them core gifts.
It's so easy to get lost in the quest for self-improvement. Every billboard seduces us with the vision of a happier, more successful life. I'm suggesting an opposite road to happiness. If we can name our own awkward, ardent gifts, and extricate them from the shame and wounds that keep them buried, we'll find ourselves on a bullet train to deep, surprising, life-changing intimacy.
Over the years, I realized that the characteristics of my clients which I found most inspiring, most essentially them, were the ones which frequently caused them the most suffering.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-deepest-gifts

[Mr insecurity]

I have felt that.

Recently I felt like my insecurity were trying to warn me against problems with my realationship and I felt good about that for a very short time, but I couldn't help but feel that it was also causing me to throw away another chance for love that I wanted soo bad. Just like I have so many time before. I am currently avoiding that person because she has cut it off do to warnings I was giving her about my insecurities. Also, I am happy when I'm around her but I get soo depressed knowing she will never let it be. She is convinced that if I were in love that all of my insecurities would dissappear immediately. I can't help but think that my insecurity would eventually tear the relationship apart anyway.

[advena]

thought provoking. Thank you for posting this. For some reason his philosophy reminds me of Thomas Moore.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=198855

[madisgram]

interesting comparison, byz. i don't know but for me the only person who can help me love myself is me. yes, my therapist is used quite frequently to offer me skills to dig deep. my wonderful friends on the other hand reinforce those qualities i believe about myself. but if that's where i started and worked back i'm not sure how successful i'd be.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=198859

[madisgram]

i see you quoted the same article, byz.
hopefully you may find that your qualities can be utilized to inspire you in your endeavors rather than considering some a curse. i can fall back into negative beliefs about myself sometimes. it takes practice to reframe my identity. made progress so that's my heading the right direction of acceptance of self in the "nude."

I can think of qualities I have considered a curse. There is work to do to make these qualities work to my advantage.