[mala]

Does anyone have any ideas. Im 42, Ive had counselling and still feel like my mind is an emotional sponge, that absorbs any old c-p. Im really fed up with myself and its not good for self esteem. I meet people esp of my own age who have a confident mind and I feel like a complete nothing. Im sensitve and I feel that I shouldnt be like this. Im not feeling sorry for myself and really working to improve, but sometimes I feel that I havent and tired.

[wayneb]

I'm also 42. It's weird. I used to be much more confident than I am now. But one of the things I have learned is that there is such a thing as being too confident. Sometimes what we view in others as confidence can really just be arrogance on their part. But yes, there are people who are confident and well-adjusted.

My recommendation, though, is to not compare your own confidence with someone else's. You're your own person. Compare where you are now to where you used to be. That's a more healthy thing to do because it lets you know if you're improving any.

Be sure that you're loved by God, and that is enough to make your self-esteem stronger!

And that's all I've got for ya!

[Inedible]

Comparing yourself to other people never works, because all you have to go on is what they want you to know about themselves. It isn't a fair comparison. If you want a better source of information, watch tv news reports and commercials. Look at what is designed to catch the interest of the people around you. There are people spending millions of dollars to figure out what people really want and this is what they concluded.

A lot of people here seem to be working on mindfulness training. It can help with what you are describing, by letting you keep the intensity of your experiences without having to react to them automatically.

You chose the name Mala. Is it for the version of a rosary used in Hinduism and Buddhism (108 beads on a string) or is it for the Spanish word for bad?

[sorrel]

You may have vulnerabilities, as do all, but it's not kind to yourself to judge your mind as 'weak'.