[madisgram]

this topic could be placed in other forums but feel this one is the best match. i had many self-sabotaging behaviors for more years than i can count. still do. what has helped me is gaining knowledge about the signs to look for...to be aware of my pitfalls so i can avoid them.

hope this topic may be benficial to others too.

Self-Sabotage: The Enemy Within

We all get in our own way occasionally and some people do it repeatedly. Self-sabotaging behavior results from the same cause, a misguided attempt to rescue ourselves.
Are you sabotaging yourself? Some people drink, some procrastinate, others are just way too modest. How do you get in your own way?
<H3>1: Dodging Emotions: The Help That Harms</H3>We often get into trouble trying to escape intense negative feelings.
Everyone does it sometimes. Some do it regularly—shoot themselves in the foot or put obstacles in their own chosen path. Behavior is self-sabotaging when in attempting to solve or cope with a problem, it instigates new problems, interferes with long-term goals, and unsettles relationships...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201109/self-sabotage-the-enemy-within

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by madisgram

this topic could be placed in other forums but feel this one is the best match. i had many self-sabotaging behaviors for more years than i can count. still do. what has helped me is gaining knowledge about the signs to look for...to be aware of my pitfalls so i can avoid them. hope this topic may be benficial to others too. http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...e-enemy-within

Yes. Yes but. So-called "self-sabotaging" behaviors have to be examined and analyzed in the context of a functioning personality and all aspects of a human life. What THAT means is that we need to be able to identify all our own "self-sabotaging" behaviors and arrange them in a descending order of importance to ourselves. No one will ever get rid of (or even be able to seriously resist) all of those behaviors at the same time. To even try to do so is a recipe for failure and simple reinforcement of the objectionable behaviors.

So it does come down to what's the worst? And deal with that one as effectively possible, make absolutely sure it's under control, before moving on to the next one on the list. There are many, many such behaviors. And unfortunately all too many of them are so necessary and fundamental to our functioning that getting rid of them is a real trick. So we well may wind up skipping down the list to find some that are perhaps easier to deal with.

There's usually a very serious reason for a destructive behavior to be on our lists. They fit in key spots in our unconscious arrangements of daily mixtures of pain and pleasure. Few of us fully understand the "keystone" nature of many such behaviors. So when you pull one out, you may well not understand what repercussions that may have on other pieces of stability. So go easy. Gingerly. Watching always for what may happen when you yank a behavior from your daily lists.

I'm not really crazy about "Psychology Today." I very much wonder whether their editorial staff does enough to ensure that their articles are realistic as opposed to exciting. I'm not quite sure what audience they think they're addressing. Average people not otherwise interested in psychology? The walking, self-diagnosed wounded? Serious patients in therapy? Do YOU find it helpful and accurate? I wonder. Take care.

[arcangel]

Self-sabotaging behavior results from the same cause, a misguided attempt to rescue ourselves.

That seems so odd to me if it's being implied that all self-sabotaging behavior is the result of trying to help one's self. I've gone through my entire life "self-sabotaging." I'm pretty damned sure that it was rarely if ever an unintended result of an attempt at rescuing myself.

[madisgram]

arcangel i read that sentence as meaning to "cope" in an unhealthy way thinking it protects me somehow. obviously that isn't the solution.

ygrec i am in a lot of agreement by your comments re psychology today..but i felt the topic could be one for discussion. and it is!
my greatest self sabotaging behavior was my alcoholism. it almost took my life. it caused me to compromise my values. 21+ years sober now, my life is manageable, and i've learned character defects i had/have that got/get in the way of my becoming the person i wish to be. it is a lifelong process of changing behaviors that can/could have drastic outcomes otherwise.

[arcangel]

Originally Posted by madisgram

arcangel i read that sentence as meaning to "cope" in an unhealthy way thinking it protects me somehow. obviously that isn't the solution.

I understand that and in a lot of cases it may be accurate. The article makes a blanket statement "Self-sabotaging behavior results from the same cause..."
I disagree. To me sabotage is a deliberate act intended to cause harm or damage. In my own experience self-sabotaging was just that. I did it deliberately or unconsciously (I was told) to harm or punish myself.
You obviously want to discuss the interpretation of the author and how it relates to you so I'll drop out of the discussion. I will say that this is the third article posted from Psychology Today that is...lets just say, does not appear scientific or even well thought out IMHO.
Maybe it should be retitled Pop Psychology Today
Anyway I think it's great that you find it helpful and I hope others will too