Hi
I am 15, female, and I know I have OCD. I'm meeting with school and my mom on Monday, and we are going to talk about me seeing a psychologist (finally! I have been asking since I was 11). Anyway, this has been bugging me for a while now. I have some symptoms associated with Schizophrenia, and schizophrenia-related disorders.

I originally ruled out schizophrenia when I was trying to put a name to my moods/thoughts, because I didn't think I hallucinated. But then I thought people with schizophrenia don't actually know they are hallucinating, and this really scares me. What if all of this is my imagination and none of it is real? This makes my anxiety worse because I think I am hallucinating everything. When I was seven (not sure if this is just intrusive thoughts from OCD) there would be this "voice" in my head saying "I hope they die" or "I hope they get an incurable disease" and I hated it, this still happens and I have to tell it to go away and leave me alone a certain number of times, but it will come back, I just silenced it for a while. I hear my name being called, see shadows, faces in things etc, but I thought these were normal...When I am sat next to my mom in the car with my headphones in (lowest volume) I think she is talking to me and I turn towards her and she isn't. This happens all the time. I also have lots of "imaginary characters" who only I can see. They are like extra-dimensional beings and I have the ability to see them and tell the future when I get a feeling something is going to happen. I believe many things about reality, and that my soul was born in another universe and got lost here through vortex rings. This is why I constantly feel alien and I can't fit in.

I'm really paranoid. Everyone is always talking about me and laughing at me. When people are whispering/laughing at school, I always think they are talking about me and I get really bad anxiety. I hate people walking behind me, and when cars come up behind me when I am walking on the pavement I get really paranoid and scared and I feel like screaming at them. There are cameras watching me and powerful people watching me and everyone hates me. They want to lock me away and can read my thoughts (which scares me because I get really bad intrusive thoughts which I hate). I get really paranoid there are cameras everywhere, and I wouldn't go in the toilets at school for years (still don't). Then I get these "delusions" that people should actually respect me because I have magical powers like future fortelling and I am basically "alien".

My thinking is really weird. I can't get a hold of my thoughts and it's like there's a tv on in my head constantly. I get headaches a lot and difficulty falling asleep/frequent wakings. My moods also change a lot; some days I am happy and optimistic and others I am really depressed and just want to die. I feel irritable during these moods and don't care for people's feelings/want to hit them, even though I love them and wouldn't want to hurt them.

My speech can be strange; very fast and like I have a lot to say or very slow/ me being withdrawn/ shy. I can stutter, slur and completely miss words out of sentences so they don't make sense. I also forget a lot and lose my train of thought/forget what I was going to say.

I am terrible at social events and I don't trust anyone because I think they want to hurt me. I am distant from people and have blank/vacant expressions most of the time. I zone out all the time and I block out EVERY sense of mine, I can't control this either. It's like I am just living in a fantasy world all of the time.

A few times a day I get this feeling that this is all a dream. It's not real and it's just a dimensional game that I will wake up from and be a completely different person. As if I created all of this in my mind. This scares me to death.

I know quizzes shouldn't be used as diagnostic tools but I did this for fun.
http://themachine1.110mb.com/spq.html
I got 64.5 out of 74. Should I be concerned? Schizotypal is known as mild schizophrenia too, and I fit the whole criteria. The average is 28-38 apparently.

All of this is interfering with school/social life. And I have never had a boyfriend so I guess it is interfering with that too. Should I tell my school all of this on Monday too? Please respond, and thanks .

PLEASE will anyone just comment? I really would appreciate your opinions on this..

[sabby]

I'm sorry you are having some really difficult times. I'm sure they must be scary to you.

Unfortunately, we cannot diagnose anyone here. We are here for peer support and we may have ideas about things, but certainly we could not know for sure if you are schizophrenic or have any other disorder.

What you discuss can be attributed to a lot of different things. It would take a professional to run some tests and diagnose you.

I can tell you that it's very important to talk about what is going on with you to someone who can help you or to a professional. Getting a professional answer and help for what you are describing is very very important.

Please remember that any tests that you take online are purely for ideas in where to look for answers, they are not made for diagnoses purposes hon.

Please take good care of yourself and I wish you well.


sabby

Thanks for the support
I wasn't looking for a diagnosis, just people's opinions on what this could be. I don't diagnose myself but take into consideration what my problems may be. What things would this be attributed to? I'm curious to know
~WTTJ

[pegasus]

((((((( WelcomeToTheJungle ))))))))

Well, you see it could be so many things. Anxiety, for example can make you hypervigilant, unable to sleep and lead to all sorts of fearful thinking. I am glad you are getting to see a psychologist soon as it sounds as though you are quite distressed. Let me know how you get on.

[dazed_confused]

Originally Posted by WelcomeToTheJungle

My thinking is really weird. I can't get a hold of my thoughts and it's like there's a tv on in my head constantly. I get headaches a lot and difficulty falling asleep/frequent wakings. My moods also change a lot; some days I am happy and optimistic and others I am really depressed and just want to die. I feel irritable during these moods and don't care for people's feelings/want to hit them, even though I love them and wouldn't want to hurt them.

My speech can be strange; very fast and like I have a lot to say or very slow/ me being withdrawn/ shy. I can stutter, slur and completely miss words out of sentences so they don't make sense. I also forget a lot and lose my train of thought/forget what I was going to say.


.

are you sure your not bi-polar maybe? or borderline personality? i think those can cause some of those symptoms, but can't say for certain.
it could be a combo of disorders. definetely get those headaches checked too also,, i know how frustrating those can be. i have them all the time and they can also worsen your moods. hope you feel better.

[CatChi]

As far as I know, two psychiatric disorders cause hallucinations (visual or aural) and they are schizophrenia and bipolar I. My mom was a paranoid schizophrenic. But there could be other medical causes too. Try to be patient and not diagnose yourself. If you start reading the diagnostic manual you will find that every disorder sounds like you.

Originally Posted by CatChi

As far as I know, two psychiatric disorders cause hallucinations (visual or aural) and they are schizophrenia and bipolar I. My mom was a paranoid schizophrenic. But there could be other medical causes too. Try to be patient and not diagnose yourself. If you start reading the diagnostic manual you will find that every disorder sounds like you.

Severe depression causes psychosis too, which for me included hallucinations

[siljie]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm 15 as well and have paranoid symptoms, but stemming from my PTSD.

I think the only real way to find out is to go through with seeing a psychologist. I'm in therapy and am on medication and it's really helped me so far. It could be a number of different things, so that's the best option. I wish you luck on your journey, and I hope things definitely clear up for you.