simple fun question

If you could think back over the therapists you have had over time and select those you liked the most, what was it about that person and what they did for you...skills...office decor...demeanor...that kept you coming back?
I would be truly grateful for any responses.
Karen

Welcome to the forums Karen!

Definitely it would be that my T made me comfortable enough to talk about the horrible things that happened in my childhood. I needed to put some of those things away, and he helped make that possible. It made me the wonderfully normal person I am today, cough...cough...excuse me, I'm coughing up a hairball.

Hope this answer helps!

Again, welcome!

bptoo

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."

I was lucky to have Barbara as a therapist when all the memories started to surface. She felt like the mom I never had and made me feel like I was safe when there was so much crap going on in my life and I didn't feel safe anywhere. She was much more than just a therapist. She and I developed a friendship and when she had to move we were both upset about it. I've lost touch with her over the years but I still think of her now and again. Without her I probably wouldn't be here..

Hey, Bummblebean. Cute name. Welcome to the board.

I didn't have that many therapists but the first three, maybe, were real loosers. I lucked out quickly into my search and stuck with her for 10 years. What I liked most about her was that she didn't have a high and mighty attitude. She was Real. When it came time to do some real digging, she was willing to follow a certain type of therapy; that was connecting with "my inner child." I had read a book by John Bradshaw and it appealed to me very much.

She didn't dress expensively but rather comfortably... although her couch was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever tried to sit in! You see, my legs are short and the seat in it was loooong. To tell the truth, it was her caring and spoken commitment to me and my family that kept me going back. She isn't perfect, though. She made some serious mistakes during the years, but I owe to her who I am today. She was a combination of mother/daughter/sister/friend/therapist.

In the end, she did let me down, though. She wouldn't answer any of my phone calls so I don't know what happened on her end. I felt very betrayed by her and I still hold some resentment because of the broken commitment, but at this writing I have an impulse to leave another message on her machine and thank her for everything. I just received my SSI check and it was all due to her report.

I think we need to remember that therapists are human, too, just like us. They aren't perfect by any means. They have their limits, too, just like the rest of us. Like in everything else, you can find some rotten ones in the bunch. But when you find a good, they are Good!



He's making a list and checking it twice...

Welcome to the forums, Karen.

I think for me, it's not just liking a therapist, but feeling like I'm making some progress. And pushing too hard can harm progress as much as not pushing hard enough. So, I think the best quality in a therapist is having that balance of challenging me to change how I approach things, and knowing when they need to back off a bit because I'm not ready to make that change, or face that problem.

mj

Hi Karen, welcome to our group.

I have been with my therapist for about 2 1/2 years now. He is there for me 24/7 if I need him. I have permission to get ahold of him whenever I need him.

He genuinely cares about me and has shown it in a number of ways. There are many times I just show up at his office - the only safe place I have - and made time for me and not charged me. He has come in at 8am (instead of 9) and stayed past 5 so that we can talk.

He accepts me for who and what I am - no one else ever has. I consider him my friend, although we don't socialize or anything outside of hours, but he is there for me........and that is what counts, whether it is in person or by phone or email.

Mary Alice

I'll explain why I asked and am crossing my fingers that nobody will become upset. I promise that I am a good person and have a good heart and would never intentionally hurt anyone.
I am a masters level social worker. In NYC I worked emergency rooms for years and when I moved out here I did some hospital work and then found a small community which I fell in love with and got a job in child protection services. Needless to say, cps is NOT my cup of tea and I desparately prayed to get out. I was amazingly blessed with a job in the same community in their mental health clinic. I am like wayyy GREEN and learning as fast as I can. I have been buying books like crazy and I put a ceramic toad on the table so that my clients could kiss it for luck if I can't help. Every time I get a new client I rush to my books or the internet and speed-read. I have never had children yet I am inhaling every parenting manual I can get my hands on because parenting issues are prevalent here. I have a desk full of glow sticks, candy, and fake tattoos for when I visit the adolescents in jail (part of my job). I know that adolescents are very symbolic and some of these kids cannot accept caring except via a silly fake tattoo. I have so many questions and clearly so much to learn and I honestly don't know where to go to admit when I feel so silly (like when I find myself totally admiring my client). I am hoping that I can come here. I promise not to betray confidences. Mostly I want to share my fears of suddenly being in the "other chair" and learn how to do this job as best possible. To top it all off, I really want to be GOOD....believe me, this little community deserves GOOD...not a surrogate savior...but someone who impacts and makes a difference...and cares. So I have this huge task ahead of me and am hoping that it will be okay if I post once in awhile.
Thanks
Karen

Hello Karen amd Welcome,
It sounds like you are already doing a wonderful job, YOU CARE and that I think is most important.
I had a Therapist for just over two years and he was excellent.
The only problem is that he is in training to be a psycologist, so could no longer keep me as his client, He was decent enough though o give me a years warning when he would be leaving.
He cared, was prof, and always pointed out the goodthings in me, which I still have a lot of trouble believing and accepting.
Now that he is gone I am starting to take notice when someone has something good to say about me, which I guess in the past I only heard the negative(OR what I percieved as negative). I still can't believe that people can see any good in me, but at least I hear it.
Knowing that someone cares is the most important thing and feeling like I can trust them is next.