Why is aging such a big deal??

That's beautiful... wow. (((((((RDV))))))) I knew you were a foxy woman......my daughter is your age...well, 35 in October. She looks about 25 too... stunner!

Know what she said to me the other day?...well, gonna say it anyway...

"Ma? Now that we are two grown women; I can say things to you I never really articulated before...now, I can look at you and tell you--woman to woman...

You are beautiful ma. I know you don't believe it, you never did; but you really are. You don't look old at all. I don't think you can ever look old. You are eloquent, classy, gentle, kind and you are the funniest lady I ever met... Please believe me ma? You never wore make-up, you never wore tight clothes...but you are so beautiful, you don't need any of that. I love you so much, and I was always proud of you in front of my friends... any man would be so (hmm?--yeah, she used "blessed") blessed to have you, and he'd love you sooo much......not all men are Dad, ma......believe me?"

I cried when she left. Course I still don't believe her......but, hey, RDV? What you did for your boss? What my daughter said to me was on the same page......

You are both beautiful young women... so glad I have been blessed to know you both!

It's either because of fear of death or fear of not looking as desirable as you did in your twenties and thirties. I definately think the media plays into this age paranoia. Our society in general does not revere elderly people, as some Eastern cultures do. In Japan, elders are revered & appreciated for their wisdom. Not so in the Western world.

I have to say that I did get very upset when I turned 50. Now that I am 51, it's not as much of a big deal. It's going to happen anyway so why fight it?

Interesting topic, thanks for posting.

Our society looks upon aging as an irreversible disease! In olden times (yeah, I'm that old!), aged people were respected for their experience and wisdom. Now, they are just seen as unattractive and needy. How shallow our society has become.

I think age is a matter of mindset. If you learn to savor every good moment along the way it tends to go much better. In our sometimes hectic lives we forget that bit. I think our attitude toward age is slowly changing, and we do not percieve age in the same way.

Take Madonna as an example, she is now over 50. She is still incredibly beautiful and athletic, good living I suppose.

As one ages one learns patience and becomes more tactical. When I play games online I am often able to defeat young players because they rely too much on their reflexes and reacting to what is in front of them rather than a global view of the battlefield. As a result they get frustrated with cat and mouse, and it is in those moments they make mistakes, and I see my opening. They would probably be rather angry knowing they got p'ownd by some 45 year old "geezer"

Same thing in Karate which has become a bit of a youth restorer. I often spar with younger folks who are very good at bouncing around the mat. I their eagerness to score they charge in recklessly in a flurry of techniques, often leaving themselves open for an easy scoring combo.

In the end, we should not think of time as that preditor that is chasing us to our last breath, but our ever faithful companion, who records every step of the journey, celebrating our triumphs, and standing by us in our tragedies.

I've known a LOT of beautiful older women who are healthy and fit - but they act their age. I've also known a lot of beautiful older women who are NOT healthy, fit, or even pretty - but they live good. Madonna (and others like her) just looks desperate.....desperate to keep men drooling over her - even little boys. Hasn't she ever heard of "passing the torch?"

My mother was a model in her younger days, but she modeled dresses and furs. I showed an old photo of her to my son when he was young, and he thought it was a photo of me. It took a while to convince him it wasn't me. I'm really thankful mom wasn't a nude model - it would have been awkward, and I would not have shown him the photo. I'm also thankful mom didn't flash her boobs (or other private parts) at strangers just to get attention and praise.

I feel sorry for the kids of Octomom. It's going to be very embarrassing for them when they get older and people confront them about her "instructional video."

aging is not a big deal. research indicates that most people (especially the baby boomers out there) get happier as they reach thier 50's or greater. We become more aware of our own mortality and are extremely comfortable with that, lessening the fear, or we just go on being our grumpy old selves into old age. I have seen both personality types in the many people i come accross each day. it is just recently that some women are becoming more comfortable with thier natural age, and no longer feel a need to lie about it. I am male, 50 this year, the way i see it.... the best is yet to come !

A great way to look at it, guru.

I think we become far wiser as we age. People have a knowledge about them as they age.

My best to you.

In Western civilization, and I'm not sure how far back this goes, youth and elderly were simply considered to be burdens upon society. They can't work, can't provide for themselves ~ therefore they're just holding everyone down. The youth finally started to get some respect when some went out super-young & bringing home money for the family. Thankfully, some laws were put into place to protect children's health.

However, the same negative outlook on elderly still exists in general society. And people are even more extreme when it comes to what they consider to be old ~ as though they are still holding onto the same views of age that they had back when they were kids. They never realized that their youthful views of "old people" were a little extreme, and then decided to change their point of view.

I think that you have a very healthy and insightful view towards getting older. And it really is too bad that more Western adults don't look at aging in the same way! I'm like you, in some ways. I do appreciate the elderly very much, and I don't see aging as a negative at all. Most of the time, I forget how old I am (because I don't care at all) and have to go back to the year, 1970, and do the math to figure it out. But, it's just a number. It doesn't mean anything to me.

I think that it's really cool that Eastern societies respect the elderly, and look to them to share their wisdom. There's something to be said for that!

Why is aging such a big deal? Because people are interesting that way

Well I am turning 60, been diagnoses BP 10 yrs. ago, taking meds (which are not working) makes me anxiouz and gives me twiches. but seeing a T, hoping to get onto better meds and feel better about my age. I can go on but I won't it's kind of depressing.

I did not have any trouble with age until I was 46 and realized it was probably half over. Then, I had a work friend, a year older say to me on my 50th birthday, "just wait until you turn 51!" which I thought was an odd thing to say but then, it being a couple years after menopause, all the aches and pains started which I had not considered, having only observed them in older people, never having felt them myself.

I had my first major medical emergency when I was 53 and then a lot of smaller ones that I "normally" would not have had and things changed in my body that take some getting use to. I understand a bit better about getting old now whereas I did not before menopause. Trying to figure out what I can "help" and what just "is" (hearing, eyesight, random aches and pains and illnesses that use to respond to treatment but don't now, etc.) it's kind of like being a teenager again with one's body doing weird things.

I'm 62 this year and have good friends, family, activities, etc. but a lot has to be looking back because I've done a lot of living; being retired it's not like I am looking forward to jobs, starting families, buying a house, establishing a home, "new" interests (gotten a college degree and gone to grad school in the last 5 years) or ever feeling completely "well" and getting good sleep consistently again? I walk fine but you won't catch me running any marathons, even supposing I wanted to. I truly understand a lot more than I can do these days

It's interesting that this topic came up. Just this morning I was remembering a time when 1/2s really meant a lot! I would reply, "Nope. I'm not (such and such) age. I am such and such age (AND A HALF!) Boy, we just could not wait to get older!

***

I really have a hard time with my age because the last time I was truly happy was 12 years ago (and that was my free karmic do-over).

Unfortunately, everything in between then and now has been pretty awful and painful. I went from one disaster to another - all of which, by some miracle, I survived. I haven't really smiled, truly smiled, in 3 years. My inner-light dimmed to just about nothing.

I may just get another chance: a third do-over (nay-sayers, sometimes it CAN happen ). It's just this time, I have no idea what that looks like. Maybe then, though, my age won't matter to me.

(I imagine that is when I will be able to smile again, and the light will be shining brightly again from within)

Pretty much everything's been covered by the previous posts, so I won't take up space repeating things. I just want to throw a saying my old boss/friend once told me...

It's not the age; it's the mileage.

There are two perspectives on this. You can either treat ageing like a car (you preserve it's beauty by tedious and constant maintenance and care), or you can treat it like a novel on the shelf (the ones we love most get read and re-read, trading the collection of dust for the wearing down of the spine and page glue).

There can be many reasons why we fear ageing, which have been mentioned.
The fear of becoming frailer, ill, dependent on others and suffering (not to mention dying) can be very much part of it.

If we don't yet fear these possibilities, it is often the regrets about what we haven't done or had. This is a big issue with me and I don't deny that becoming older has increasingly become an issue. In some ways I managed to do a lot of things I really wanted to do such as different degrees, jobs and a profession, some travelling, reading an awful lot etc., but I find it hard to accept the holes in my life, ie the absence of children or at least a child and the absence of a partner during most of my life. So, for me, in recent years, getting older has been very much tied to biology and sadness about having seen my reproductive years pass without having made use of them.

Ageing and getting older - not an easy issue. I admire people who fully embrace their age and where they are in life. I am trying to get there and wish everyone else will get there, too. May we all find peace with ourselves whatever age we are.

Because I could lose these dashing good looks lol. I'm not too bothered, and I don't know why some people make such a big deal out of it. I just let the time flow by me

Great thread, so many words of wisdom.

Okay, I'll admit it - I wasn't looking forward to turning 40 - it brought home to me that multiple areas of my life were not as I wanted them & I felt like I should have all this sorted by this age. It wasn't getting older which was upsetting me, it was getting older and not being/doing what I thought I should be by that age.

I think the technical term is 'mid life crisis'.

It's been a time for reflection & reassessment, altering things/myself - growth & all that is good. I was beating myself up for "not knowing now what I knew back then", but I've come to believe that realising there is so much I don't know is actually a sign of maturity in itself.

I'm excited to get older because I want to know what I'll look like, what I'll be doing, what everything 'll be like. I'll admit that a little part of me worries because every year I'm not sure if I'll be dying or not. Like having health problems. I'm only 21, so I don't really think about that stuff too much. But it's just a thought that some people do, some people don't. I think the ratio of people worrying, especially in countries like America, is much higher because everybody wants to stay young. Heck, I'm gonna be cool when I get older. I don't know why people freak out, but to be nervous of unexpected change is normal. Freaking out? That shouldn't be a plausible reaction.

Getting older definitely has been a time of growth and improvements for me. In my 50's I went back to college for my M.A. in Art. Also, something interesting happened.... I gained the "perspective" of age, which helped me understand why I had made so many friggin mistakes all my life! Understanding why you behaved as you did, because of your history/upbringng, can be very liberating and it freed me from so much self-blame/recrimination. This, in turn, helped me stop repeating the cycle of the same behaviors/mistakes over and over (which I had done all the way thru my 40's and early 50's).

I'm 61 now, and so, while there are the typical physical changes with age, the positives for me have far outweighed the negatives!

Reviving an old thread because my bother turns 28 on Sunday. He is seriously freaking out. I mean like every single day studying the mirror looking for gray and white hair, talking about when he's going to die, asking how old he looks and just freaking out in general. Yesterday I got screamed at because he thinks I look younger than him(I'm 10 1/2 years older).

I just don't get it.

Because... it's only one way? Because it happens while you're not looking?

I have a sign on my wall that says

"You're never too old to live happily ever after"

Someone posted that on FB yesterday. While I agree with the sentiment, I always envisioned happily ever after as being of much longer duration

I didn't dread turning age 36 or even age 40 because I didn't show much signs of aging other than a few gray hairs that weren't terribly visible. I guess I enjoyed being in my peak years instead of just a kid. However, signs of aging start appearing for most people by age 45, such as wrinkles, gray hair, weight gain and the need for bifocals. It's sort of downhill from there, and the last 20 years certainly go by quicker than the first 20 years. The first time I had any feelings of getting old though was my 10th birthday, wow, double digits.

A lot of people tried to make me feel old when I turned 40 though, you know, the "how does it feel to be 40" question. And these same people brag about how youthful they look, like they found the fountain of youth, although they don't look the same as they used to either.

Jogged my memory there. I remember telling some of my friends how old we were getting. We were 8 years old lol. I looked very young also. Well into my 40s people thought I was 20something. Several times people thought my sister was my mother. She is three years older than I am. I miss those days
Age frequently brings disappointment. I recall wishing I could be old enough to shave. Now I absolutely hate having to shave. I recall a game that was played at parties... look down into a mirror and see what you'll look like when you're old.

I just realized it was an old thread. Headed over to the rant thread now thanks
I'm not sure you need to get it. I would suggest sitting him down for a talk from big sister but if it freaks him out that much I'm not sure you can help.

I was thinking of taking him to the casino but that could poke the bear. They have a line for over 30 and a line for under 30. Last time we went the person told us we were in the wrong lines because they thought he was over 30 and I was under. If that happened again I think he'd get us kicked out lol.

I don't think he looks that old when you really look at his face. He does have a big bushy beard and really long wavy/curly hair...think young Jerry Garcia. I think people focus on all that hair and think he's older.

The part I don't get is fighting the inevitable. You're going to age. I've aged 10 minutes while i typed this. You can waste energy railing against it and bemoaning your fate OR you can say screw it and embrace the inevitable. I guess I'm lazy and don't want to waste the energy fighting that which I can't stop or change

I'm just going to go home and give him a big hug and a pat on the head.