My hair is causing me anxiety

So basically I am wondering if I should finally cut my hair. As a male, having long hair will always get you dirty looks, but I feel I am really just letting these get to me. I have had my long hair all through this year of college, and it made it a somewhat miserable experience. With me, my hair is just flatout untamable. It's frizzy, it's poofy, it just looks downright ridiculous most of the time. I have just gotten so tired of having to wear beanies and hats to cover up my insecurities with my hair. This hair has totally KILLED my confidence around the ladies. It has also started making me feel really uncomfortable around elderly folk and conservative looking people. Not because I have anything against conservative people, because I don't, but I just feel like they might see me as some worthless disrespectful hippie, which I am not! I feel a need to constantly be proving myself to help destroy this stereotype which is probably never placed on me to begin with. This hair has just been a bad experience! Not to mention walking down the street with the wind blowing the direction you are walking, all that hair of mine blowing into my face, probably looking like a crazy person, trying to fiddle with it and get it out of my eyes... It's just not fun. I keep telling myself, just CUT YOUR HAIR ALREADY, but it's just hard for me, because I have had long hair my whole life and it just feels like it's part of my identity. It's not even at the length I would like it to be at yet, with hopes of it maybe straightening itself out as it gets longer. I don't know if I can take any more of this though. I've basically told myself I'd give it the summer. If by the time the semester starts it still looks goofy, I'm getting a nice haircut!

Hi rolan

Do you have curly hair?

~ I ask because my hair is naturally curly, which I despised until I was about 18 yrs old or so. That's when I discovered a few things: 1.) Use a light, leave-in conditioner to make combing easier after showers. 2.) Use a small amount of anti-frizz gel or lotion. Rub hands (so it's an even application) and gently apply to hair, scrunching it in an upwards motion. Let hair dry naturally. 3.) No more combing or brushing throughout the day, as that will cause hair to frizz and freak out!

~ If your hair isn't curly, you can still apply some of the same techniques. Like, the anti-frizz creme. I use the Redken brand of de-tangler and anti-frizz, it works wonders! I also use Matrix brand light creme, to maintain control over my frizz-prone curls.

My hair is pretty long, mid-back length, but the curls are still ringlets even though they're long. So, my hair looks a lot shorter than it really is. I think that if you were to start using decent hair products, you'd see a big improvement ~ regardless of your decision on going with a cut.

Best wishes to you!

Even though we are white I have to take my brother to a salon that deals with ethnic hair. He has the frizzest, coarsest, most unmanageable hair I've ever seen. Using ethnic hair care products and taking him to a good salon has made all the difference. He refuses to cut his hair and it is now midway down his back. But since using the right products on his hair he can pull it back into a nice ponytail and it looks really good. Also looks good just pulled back into a braided ponytail. He dabbled with getting it permed but didn't like how straight it came out same thing with having it ironed. If you go to a good salon they will know what to do with your hair type and will be able to offer some good suggestions. I have found that most of the products they carry I can find at my local store for about half price so keep that in mind too.

I will also tell you what I told him. Depending on what job you want there are places that will pass you by simple based on the length of your hair so keep that in mind. However; if someone is going to offer a snap judgment about you based solely on your hair SCREW THEM!! They probably aren't worth your time and who needs people like that around? Just my humble opinion.

It sounds like it might be an adventure to try something different! And it will grow back, if you decide that's what you want. I think you have a lot of good personal reasons for wanting to cut it, and understandable reasons for not wanting to cut it.
Maybe you could go in stages, having it cut shorter over time, so it isn't a drastic change?

The first time I cut my hair short, I didn't cut it -- I shaved it. Completely. Bald. Right down to the skin. I raised money and donated to the Stollery CHildren's Hospital. Ends up I love my hair short -- so much easier to deal with, and much cooler in the summer!!

It was dramatic, yep, and I was hesitant the first time I did it. But the thing to remember is it's just hair, and it grows back. Eat lots of jello, and it'll grow back faster (Jello is also good for your nails).

Hair isn't part of your identity, unless you have something living in it. It doesn't define you as a person, and it won't change you as one if you decide to cut it. If you loved your hair for what it was, I'd encourage you keeping it -- but it sounds like you hate it and only keep it because you should. I say go for a change. It feels good to give things a try now and again, and if you end up hating it, let it grow out again.

Big word of advice, though -- don't just get it chopped. Get a hair cut by a professional or you may end up hating the style you get!

It sounds like you have grown tired of the long hair thing and, though you see it as part of your identity, that identity seems to be changing and you are now wanting convenience. If you don't like it short, it will grow back in due course so there is really no risk. The summer is the time to have short hair which is MUCH easier to take care of and more comfortable in hot, humid weather. Research how you'd like your cut hair to look and go to a good place. Be forewarned that you will look different but you will adjust to it in a few days. If the convenience of shorter hair is appreciated then you might keep it that way. It is not unusual to get tired of things you've had your entire life. Life is about change. Embrace it.

Well, at least you HAVE hair to talk about right?
I agree with taking some time out and going to a salon to cut your hair. There ARE products that make frizzy type hair much more manageable.

Just let yourself get a new look for a while, nothing wrong with that.

Open Eyes

2 words - Troy Polamalu

When my hair is long, it is harder to manage. In general, I like it long, but I don't like it all over the place or, like you said, having it windblown and tangled and wild.

I hope you get a better look.

What's inside is really what matters, but I too feel better when I look presentable or neat.

Billi

Sound like some good advice. Products do help to manage hair. If you do take the plunge and get it cut real short.......... Summer is the best time of the year to do it. Your head won't be so cold.

Good luck whatever you choose.

My guy friend wears his in a ponytail, just has it majorly long in back.

Please let us know what you end up doing and how it goes Rolan.