[SoupDragon]

This can be said about ourselves or others quite a lot, but I just wondered actually what we mean when we say it?

Is there really such thing as over-reacting?

Or is it about not reacting how we want to, or how we think others "ought" to.

[roads]

In fact asked my T to define this by way of example recently & his was crying if the lead of my pencil broke. I said but what if I had to take a test, this was my last chance & it was my only pencil? Didn't matter. Crying over a broken pencil lead would always be over-reacting.

I have trouble with absolutes like that so can always imagine some context where crying would be appropriate. That's just me.

Roadie

[dailyhealing]

I think for me it means to react in a way that is bigger than what has happened. I often bring in past hurts or other things to the situation at hand. For example, my wife may something relatively harmless and I take it very personally. I have a tendency to assume people are trying to hurt me based on past experiences. Another example for me is if I'm upset about something in my life (doesn't really matter what) and my kids do something that bothers me and I yell at them. My anger isn't really at them, and I overreact because I'm already upset about something else and it just kind of comes out... Sometimes I can catch myself and often I can't. Good question, thanks for putting that out there!

[Raindropvampire]

I am the queen supreme of over-reacting The way my shrink explained it to me was "Try to step back and think does X warrant a reaction this extreme?"

My husband told me he'd get rid of a broken speaker. He did not want me to take care of it because he said it was his responsibility. The 14th day it was still in the middle of the floor I threw it through our screen door. Knocked the door straight off it's hinges and shattered the glass. Someone didn't put the pizza pan back where it goes. I couldn't find it so now our stove is broken. I used the pizza box to smash the glass top of the stove because there was no pan. Stepping back from the situations yes I over-reacted. My actions were extreme and I should have showed some self restraint. My temper is atomic and always has been. According to the shrink it's part of my bipolar

[Melancolic]

Saw this on tuesday night http://crossfire503.tumblr.com/post/...nal-reactivity
Emotional Reactivity
[One of the most common pieces of pop-pseudo psychology is “Don’t react, respond.” Usually, this is used by people advising someone who is upset about something horrible, but no one ever helps people define reactions, define responses, and learn to control which is used.
Reactions are instant, based on the brain’s neural networks, and are characterized by strong emotion. Emotional reactivity is the tendency to react to all situations with a strong emotional response. Unfortunately, reactive responses often elicit reactions from others, thereby eliciting further reactions in a vicious cycle. Emotional reactivity is actually linked to increased pain in fibromyalgia, difficulty sleeping, and heightened emotional states over long periods of time. The latter is often a predictor of major mood disorders such as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Bipolar Disorder (BD), as well as influencing and exacerbating anxiety. Emotional reactivity is also found to influence personality disorders, notably Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and Dependent Personality Disorder.
Responses are measured, thought out, and provoke discussion and the generation of solutions. This is not to discount the importance of emotions or their impact as a driving force, but to note that reactions involve acting based on the initial feeling as compared to thinking about the situation and using the emotional stimulus to push toward finding a solution.
The key in working with emotional reactivity is becoming aware of internal changes, both physical and emotional. Strong emotional reactivity is often characterized by feeling out of control and studies have found a relative disconnect between expressed emotion and demonstrate focus on anxiety-producing stimuli]

There is a book called "Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman" that explains it all in depth that i found fascinating. Not trying to promote or advertise book.

[KaylaLee]

Over-reacting: my siblings definition of just about everything I do...

[-jimi-]

IDK actually. Overreacting can be a result of an overall feel bad thing. When I felt quite bad I almost started to cry because my tea bag string broke. Of course that is overreacting but at the same time it's a sign things are not OK.

Then, even when I'm OK, I do react different to others, some things really stress me out, and if I'm not allowed to have a personality and my own stressors, screw them. I don't moan when someone is stressed out over something which is "normal" to be stressed out over, because it doesn't stress me one bit. I understand we are different and I don't minimize their feelings.

I only react according to my personality and patterns. If people can't deal with that, they shouldn't expect people to deal with their stuff.

I think the example with a broken pencil is a little simplified. Real situations aren't that black and white. I've been sad about broken objects because I get emotionally attached to them. So what? That is how I am.

However I learned to be a little more relaxed and think of what really happened when something went wrong and when I realize the effects aren't as bad as I thought, I chill quite fast. But I think that sort of comes with life experience. Some situations make a lot of people react, like say you bought something and too late you realized they charged you a dollar too much. Unless you don't have much money, you could easily live with that, but I've seen "normals" steaming over that, like it was 100 dollars. Because they don't stop to think.