[parsifal]

I have made a decision recently to cut a hurtful and negative person out of my life. The problem is, I also work with him. I fear that being around him might trigger old scripts in me, which would leave me the silent victim of his negativity. I have already exchanged words with him about my not hanging out with him any more, and while he was very negative, I simply told him that he was being very negative and hurtful, without getting drawn into his very obvious hurtful and desperate grasping. He is not supportive. In fact, he will openly criticize and belittle anything I (or anyone else) does that conflicts with whatever he happens to want at the moment. I believe that my tolerance for this behavior came from being around my mother as a child, as she acts very similarly to him.

So I'm wondering, how can I remain on the path when I have to work with him? I'm scared of losing my way if I even talk to him. I hope that some day he'll just become "that negative coworker," and that this won't bother me all the time.

Thank you for your time

[cherybery]

Hey parsifal! What you did I think was a pretty good thing! I think the best thing too do first and foremost is too give yourself a pat on the back. Second try too mindset yourself into work is work and friends/social life is seperate. There is nothing written that you have to be friends with this person. Sure you may work together and that sounds like that is your only common ground with him. That and nothing more. If he becomes the "negative coworker" that is his choice and not yours. I think we all end up becoming chummy with some people we work with because we spend so much time at work and we can decide where we want to draw the line with each person. I think you drew a good one!
HUGS
Cher

[parsifal]

Thanks, Cher Thank you for the positive support!

The problem with this guy is that we were friends for a long time, and we live together. I've already told him (and my other roommate) that I'm going to get a place on my own when our lease ends, in August. I've already become much more social and directed and positive and self-supportive in my life. I'm surrounding myself with positivity. I just worry that I'll fall back into an old script or role, since I've known him a long time. But then I tell myself, "You will not forget. And he is just a person; you can ignore him. No big deal. He doesn't have power over your life." What do you say?

[drunksunflower]

Maybe living AND working with someone like that would be hard ... but one of the two (just working with him) may indeed be ok.

good luck and it sounds like you have made many positive changes