[Millz777]

I have never done this before but I am on the edge and can’t think of anything else to do. My ex broke up with 3 weeks ago after a year and a half and I am totally broken. I can’t eat, sleep, concentrate at work or anything. I am walking around like a zombie and I have come to my wits end. I feel like I don’t want to live anymore and I just can’t cope with feeling like this anymore. I feel totally out of control and like I’m just living in a dream state, I can’t bare the idea of my life being like this anymore and of the ex not loving me or being in my life. I feel like I have nothing to offer the world and that I am worthless. Please help

Hi and welcome to the site I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I've never been in that situation but I know it must feel terrible. I'm pretty much in love with someone that I know I can never be with so I can relate to your situation a bit perhaps. I'd never loved anyone this way before. It hurts...very much. I wish I could offer you some real support but the best I can say is that I've read that a break-up is a little like the death of a loved one. You go through stages of grief that are painful and seem to last far too long. If you make a post in relationships you may be able to get some support and good advice from someone who has been through this.
coping with emotions forum
Relationships & Communication forum
Good luck and take care

[Aston]

Hey most of us, including myslef, have been there and it does get better. You are probably suffering from situational or acute depression. When relationships end most people feel depressed and I remember feeling like you many years ago when my girlfriend of two years left me. It took me some time but within six months I was doing much better and within a year my life was much better than when I was with her. I met someone new, got a better career and most importantly learned from the experience. Time is the ultimate healer in a case like yours but you can do things to speed up the process. Distract yourself. Do things (healthy things) that you would not normally do. Start a workout program. Start a new sport or hobby. Make new friends. Take a nice holiday. Build new relationships and keep busy. The busier you are the less time you will have to dwell on what happened and before you know it you will feel great. Good luck to you!

[seeker1950]

Yes, what George said, "I've read that a break-up is a little like the death of a loved one," is actually true.

I have actually been thru this myself. It takes tremendous effort to recover...like baby steps...one day forward, then two steps back. It also can take what seems to be a long time. It is important, during the grief stages, not to do anything rash...like meeting other potential romantic partners. (I know from experience, sadly.) It is also very important to be patient and kind to yourself. Even if you feel like a zombie, try to do nice things for yourself. You may not feel like socializing, but that would be good, even if you have to force yourself. I went back to college and got my M.A. in Art, which took 4 years since I was doing it part-time, mostly during the summers. For the first two summers, I walked around numbly on campus, thinking I was seeing him at a distance. Eventually, this did pass, and I began to feel proud that I had stuck with it.

None of this may help you, but taking classes is a great way to focus on something positive. I often wished there was a "magic pill" to make it all go away, and I'd be immediately better. Of course, there is no such thing. And, in truth, TIME will be your healer. Be patient, and be kind to yourself, and I do promise, it will get better.
Patty

[Leed]

Bless your heart. Breaking up is awful, and it takes over your very life. I know the feeling well, and it's terrible.

If there's any way you can do it, a little time off from work would be good so you can get your wits about you and perhaps schedule some time with a therapist. I doubt really you could get in that quickly, but perhaps if you told them you were really a "crisis" case, they might work you in -- but it's doubtful.

Still, some time to get your thoughts together would be good. This is NOT the end of the world. Every one has gone thru this at one time or another and survived. Yes, it hurts, but we get thru it. We come out stronger and usually a smarter and better person for it. But while we're going thru it, it's very painful. Keep posting and let it out, as it's good for the soul. And as everyone says, time is the great healer. Try to keep as busy as you can, doing things that you like. If you have a hobby, do that. If you don't, start one -- think of something you might like to do.

I wish you the best -- like I said, keep posting. We'll be here to listen. God bless & take care hon. Hugs, Lee

[allen645]

Don't worry man, she wasn't the right one for you. Wish you best of luck and hope you'll recover from your mental depression soon.