Hi, I'm a little scared of women. They appear a lot more mature than I am and I see them as potentially very demanding in a relationship.

The reason this feeling has come to me lately is because I am on a dating website now.

I would like to know if other people feel this way about men or women.

[Leed]

Well, being a woman myself, I think it's a well known fact, that women mature a lot quicker than men. And also *I* have noticed that this generation of women seem to be a bit more demanding than MY generation or the last generation (I'm telling my age now, aren't I). You see, I'm 63, and my daughter is 37, so this up and coming generation is a BIT more demanding than the prior 2 generations were -- at least that's what I've noticed. I MAY be wrong -- but where I come from, that's the way it is. So i can see where you might be a little scared of them. I would be too if I were a male. YIKES

I don't think the quicker maturation comes into it because i'm 33 now. I'm just less mature than most people, I'm dysfunctional, etc.

Thanks for allaying my fears though

[Timgt5]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I don't think the quicker maturation comes into it because i'm 33 now. I'm just less mature than most people, I'm dysfunctional, etc.

Thanks for allaying my fears though

It is easy to get intimidated by the opposite sex sometimes. It is not uncommon. I believe for many it is the fear of making a connection and suffering rejection (hope followed by loss of hope) that makes it difficult to try.

I agree that sometimes the bar is unrealistically high. On dating sites such expectations are often silly. Sometimes I think people put them out there just to ward off "losers"

I believe that the best approach is to be just who you are. Make peace with your shortcomings and put the most positive aspects of your persona forward. Everyone has something to offer to the right person.

I wish you the best in making the right connection, and do not worry about being intimidated, just be the person you are and realize that dating like sales is a numbers game, you may have to talk to a lot of potentials before you can close the deal so to speak.

[bill77bman]

i was like that knot in stomach do i look good enough worried people didnt like what they see.now i am married and in a way i am the same always nervous if she likes what she is looking at am i doing something wrong does she deserve better is she going to leave me does she love me

[sarek]

Do be careful of generalising though. You are a person with a distinct psychological makeup and you need to be very careful to find those women who are compatible with you.
I usually have a pretty good antenna for that but if you do not, the meyer briggs system is a good way to weed out potential incompatibility problems. I, for instance know that I should absolutely avoid getting into a relationship with an S type person.

I'm completely afraid of the opposite gender. I cannot make eye contact or talk with them at all. I wish I wasn't this way, but I'm really not sure what to do about it.

[brackenbeard]

i seem to have the same problem. ugh, i'm working on it. sometimes i'm like **** i'm 24 grow the **** up, just talk to them. they're just people and they're not gunna bite your head off. i just don't wanna go my life being afraid. let's all get ready to grit it out through defeat and keep trying. so let's go get these women!!

[seeker1950]

I think it's important to learn the root of the fear. I was always afraid of men! I've realized this, thru a lot of reading, introspection, that it comes from my upbringing, in which I was taught that men are evil and untrustworthy. I always, also, felt "unworthy" of the men to whom I was attracted. This led me into relationships that were full of suspicion, jealousy,and fear. Also into relationships that were destructive, and attractions to the wrong kind of people. This all stems from a severe lack of self-esteem.

Realizing your history can be very liberating. Also, working on your own self-esteem issues. I know there are even groups/classes which meet to practice meeting and greeting the opposite sex.

It is very important to understand your history, and your mindsets. In my case, a lot of reading and introspection. Nothing is set in stone. You can improve.

Patty

[pinkrosepetal01]

i hope you use a better name on your dating site, lol. seriously tho you sound like a nice guy, and we all have nerves with the opposite sex at times. women these days are more independant, which makes it easier for a man. i found my man after being alone for 40 years and he is a gem, i never believed it could happen but it did.

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I think it's important to learn the root of the fear. I was always afraid of men!

I bet a lot of women are intimidated by the way men are characterised as cheating, or felonous scum.

I know there are even groups/classes which meet to practice meeting and greeting the opposite sex.

I would be very interested in that, particularly if there were women involved in those classes.

I'm on this free dating website and I sent a 'flirt', which is just a button you press to 'flirt' with another member. It was a big step to do just that.

Now a woman on this dating website said she likes my profile and wants to make contact.

I immediately logged off.

Issues. I have them.

[possum220]

I have issues with men. But then I have issues in general too. Meeting people on the internet can also have it's own hazards.

I have met some really nice men but its been within the clinic. Nurses, P'doc, Therapist, other patients. There I know I can relax because it is safe. And 99% of them are really nice people.

Maybe IT, you could find a place where you can meet women in group situations where it is safe and you can get to know them a little bit and see how you go. Even therapy groups are safe.

Maybe just chip away at it. People are who they are. Not all women are demanding.