[Sarathia]

Hello, I didn't know where to post this because my issues seems kind of scattered, so I found this forum, I hope that's okay. Recently my problems have been gaining in strength and I'm losing the ability to live normally slowly. For example, I can't go visit my grandmother on her birthday, unless I'll sleep on the staircase or something I'll try to write about them in a comprehensive manner... Oh, I'm 22 and a female.

1. snoring

Many people don't like snoring and they feed pills or similar things to people they sleep beside. But my problem has escalated to a ridiculous proportion. When I was little I could sleep across the hall of a snoring father and it was alright, sometimes it soothed me even if I was afraid of the dark. Today I can't bear snoring if I THINK I hear it. I was closing the door to my room and my father's room (another place so the wall is much thicker) and I would lie in my bed listening to be 100% sure there is no snoring to be heard. Sometimes it was so quiet that a normal person wouldn't even NOTICE it and I was getting angry fits (hitting the wall so he stopped) and crying (like, silently, not to wake anyone), unable to sleep.

I was visiting in America my uncle and he was snoring terribly. I wanted to see New York and everything, because I live in Europe I won't have that chance soon, but I was spending my nights listening to music on headphones on maximum volume and only going to sleep at 8am when he was getting up. It ruined my trip...

I can't go to visit my grandmother because she snores and my father who snores terribly would go too and I'd end up crying all night in the bathtub or wherever the noise would be the smallest. And it's not a sleeping in noise problem. I feel asleep at Star Wars once in the cinema no problem :P

2. bugs

I'm not afraid of bugs, but I'm disgusted by them to the point of screaming/paralysis/rabid shuddering/crying. This one has been getting progressively worse too as I got older. I once found a bug on my wall when I was in bed (just some stupid green flying small thingie), I squished it and then I cried. I felt violated, I can't call that feeling any other way.

I have flies coming into a room where I sleep and I can't remove them myself. I take window cleaner and spray them with it, they dwindle and die and in the evening I have to ask my mom to remove the carcasses because I can't approach them. I just get stuck and can't move close enough to them. It's retarded! It's not only spiders now, it's everything bug-like. Even lady bugs turned upside-down have that effect on me. I could tolerate dragonflies and butterflies on good days, but on bad days those made me shudder too... I can't go to the forest, I can't go to any non-in-city place for holidays. I don't know how to deal with it.

3. other noises

Other noises are driving me insane as well. Especially food related. Smacking, gulping, sipping, chewing noise. It evolved and now even seeing a person chew with no sound kind of annoys me. Speaking with my food in the face also makes me want to just slap the person doing it. Nail biting. Scratching.

4. sense of smell is too strong

I was looking for solutions to this problem all over the google, but I found nothing. I think my sense of smell is too keen, especially when it comes to bad smells. I can smell things other people don't seem to notice. I come into a room and smell someone's feet are stinky and if I tell them (which gets them somewhat annoyed usually :<) they bring the foot RIGHT TO THEIR NOSE and say that yeah, maybe it stinks A LITTLE. For me the whole room stinks of it.

I was once riding a bus with a friend and he said something to me and his breath literally made me nauseous. I had to focus on not puking right there. I was right after donating blood though so that may be why it was so bad?

I'm afraid that when I finally get into some relationship this will prevent me from functioning right. And yeah, I have relationship problems too, so I didn't even get to the smells part

5. fears

I'm terribly afraid of everything. I sometimes switch subway wagons/wait for another train because I'm afraid of somebody because of some stupid thing. Holding hands weird, having some bulge in shirt. I'm all like "what if that's a gun/bomb?". I'm afraid of people in the streets. I'm obsessively scared about my health and I see syndroms that are not really there. There was a time where I couldn't look/touch my breasts for few weeks because I was afraid of breast cancer. I was trying to fight myself to actually do in case there WAS one to catch it early, but I was too scared. Damn, writing about it makes me realize how dumb it all is D: Well at least I'm over my elevator anxiety...

Fear of heights, on the other hand, appeared suddenly out of nowhere. I discovered I had it when I went for a roller coaster ride. Few years back I rode roller-coasters and while I wasn't a fan of the falling feeling (guts in my face, not nice :P), it was k. And two years ago? I thought I would jump out of the wagon and die to shorten my suffering. I knew it was a terrible idea when the cart started to rise up. The terror of being on the top and knowing I'll be falling shortly. I cried. I didn't puke or anything, but I was screaming (in a bad way) and crying. The memory is still so vivid. After that ride rising on a SUPER SLOW not-even-so-high ferris wheel had me grasping my friend and the cart wall in total panic.

Those are the more nameable and simple to describe issues I have right now, but i do have a few more. The most prominent being relationship-inability, problems with social pressure, depression times when I don't counter-act (I found a natural way though, yay...) and the desperate need for approval that I think has me "addicted" to on-line gaming at times... It's easier and faster to carry some grateful n00bs in League of Legends than achieve something appreciable in real life and sometimes I kind of need instant gratification. But it isn't lasting, obviously

My relationship issue, being the one that's really serious, I'll take to another appropriate forum later, I think, as it may be as big as this post...

If someone helps me, thank you very much in advance. I'm kind of at lose of what to do here

[Leed]

Hi ~ These issues are too complex for us to address I'm afraid. What I believe is you need to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist and begin some sessions of therapy. Then you could get to the root of all these problems -- what is causing all these fears!!! Bless your heart, this must be awfully intense, to say the least! How in the world to you ever sleep??? You must be exhausted!

I do hope you'll make an appointment soon, as it's important that you begin therapy soon. The sooner you can get started the sooner you'll get some relief from some of these issues. I wish you the very best -- but please keep posting here too! Talking about it will surely help. We don't want you to leave by any means -- we just want you to get the proper help. So I hope to hear more from you! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Odee]

I just want you to know, that you are not alone! This world is way too large for anyone to ever be alone in how they feel!

Several weeks ago my interest was piqued by a news segment describing a disorder where the sufferers experienced intense panic, rage, and screaming/crying fits in response to seemingly trivial triggers. These triggers would be snoring, lip smacking, chewing, tapping, sneezing, coughing, even breathing. Commonly, these triggers would be applied to a specific person such as a daughter who couldn't stand to hear her mother talk despite lack of abuse.

I don't remember the name of the disorder and I definitely can't diagnose you with it. What's important is that there is a community out there of people who may feel similar to you. I hope that telling you this encourages you to seek out additional resources. And if you do, tell us what you find.

And please! Talk to a psychiatrist and/or psychologist. ((((HUGS))))

[Sarathia]

Thank you both for your kind words of support <3

I was hoping that maybe someone would have had an experience and could share an advice or two, because I simply can't afford psychiatrist/psychologist and there are no help groups around here for people like me. I think they are only for the suicidal folk. And by all means, I do agree they need it more.

[sunblossom]

Hypersensitivity to anything is difficult to process. I can be brought to my knees by sudden noises and movements. I can flip into a meltdown with the crack of a nuckle or a snap of a finger or the beep on the micro-wave. Other days the sounds can go by without me even noticing. It depends on how hypersensitive I am from one day to the next. It can be very debilitating, not to mention embarassing. I am unable to work because of it. No one wants me around when I am so unpredictable and so easily unhinged.

I am getting better at livign with it. I am building up my kit of coping skills. When the trigger is flicked I know it and at the same time as I am meltingdown I am already helping myself back up. Framing the experience for what it is and not going into the mind baggle of what it isn't. Relying on an intellegent response in a moment of emotional distress seems to be helping me bounce back more quickly.

Mindful meditation have been the most helpful for me of anything else I have tried. It doesn't come naturally or easily for me but the more I am able and willing to engage in mindful meditation the better I am able to cope with the hypersensitivities.

I hope you are able to get some relief.