The empty life

I have everything a girl could want. I have a job working in a daycare with the cutest kids, and I'm making tons of money. I have lots of clothes, accessories and style to match. I have a few bffs and a wide circle of friends. I have parents and siblings who love me, even though they don't always show it! I have my religious connection and spirituality. I workout, try and eat right and get enough sleep. I'm in therapy to work on my bad stuff, and I have goals and lots of strategies to combat them. I want to go to college, get married and have kids. So why do I feel so empty?

No matter how many times I hang out, go shopping, work, etc, every time I'm by myself I feel bored. I get so restless and annoyed at myself because I'm not doing anything. There are so many times when I don't even think, just because there's nothing to think about. I have things that I'm excited about, but then I don't feel excited. For instance, I'm going to mexico later this summer. I should be going crazy about it, but I don't feel a thing! I always wonder if I'm depressed, but I don't think I am. I just feel this emptiness and I hate it.

Sometimes depression strikes when everything is just fine. And it sounds like that's what you have. It's called chemical depression. Yours is not situational depression, cause your situation is just fine.

It sounds like you need to talk to your doctor and explain how you are feeling. He can refer you to a therapist who can help you deal with what you're going thru -- and get to the bottom or your depression. OR he can put you on an antidepressant, which sounds more like what you need since you don't seem to have any deep-dark problems in your past. So talk with your doctor -- just remember that antidepressants take about 6 weeks to begin working. Most doctors don't bother to tell their patients this, so the patient stops taking them because they figure they aren't working! They WILL work -- you just have to be patient, ok? God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Well, I'm in therapy already! I really, really don't want to take medication. They have so many side effects and it doesn't even really work... My T doesn't really like medicating, especially because I'm only 19. He thinks I could get through it just with therapy, but I guess I'll discuss it with him. Thx!

you are not your khakis.

just saying.

im trying to be supportive but am a little out of it today, so i'll do my best.

i think maybe you can acknowledge that there is no real meaning in shopping, or having a closet full of clothes, etc.'

maybe you are missing something REAL.

And in my opinion, the only things that are real in this life are those things which are intangible.

Like love.
companionship.
joy.
humor.
satiety.

Wow. very well-written and insightful. I couldnt agree more.

This sounds so very familier.....

I get completely caught in a routine or end up feeling blank so I would constantly change something.....wether it be my hair, where I go on the weekends, a vacation then I felt like I needed bigger so I started college, bought a new car, etc etc etc

I do these things because for me as material and superficial things are...things to me are safer than people...things don't lie, break your heart, etc.

Now I want my own place but know that will get old fast

For me I know I need to work on my heart and my issues with people and always feeling disconnected....I have friends too but always feel like there is something missing...I can be in a crowded room and feel apart from that room even if I am engaging in conversation...

You have a lot of tangible things in your life as so do I. These are things we can see, touch, and feel. What about those intangible things? Passion, love, purpose, etc. I lack those feelings, I go through the motions everyday like a robot constantly searching for meaning in every moment.....

I don't know if you relate to that. I think you can do it without medication as well, maybe what you are talking about in therapy is effecting you more than you realize or maybe you aren't diving deep enough and should really start talking...

wishing you the best....

Ibdrox,

Are you on birth control? If you are then you need to check your hormone levels. Young girls trying to control their cycles often do experience side effects and don't realize that they are changing their hormones and it does effect how they feel and think.

You can also have your thryroid checked as well. It is a bloodtest for both hormones and thyroid.

Open Eyes

No, I"m not on birth control!!! But thx anyway!

i always find that month long treks into the jungle (having adventures n stuff like that) always help dis'spell any gloom.: )
(not that i would know, its more urban jungle for me).lol.

Often routine can cause a sense of mind numbing boredom. When things become too patterned and routine or predictable, we can often fall into a temporary slump or rut. Perhaps trying a slightly different schedule or different place to eat or a new hobby might help. Take an online course in something that my be a curiosity to you.

Thanks! That's a really good idea!

luv,
lbdrox

Does not sound like you have made friends with yourself yet? Friends do not get restless and annoyed in one another's company but get into "trouble" together and do a lot of laughing and enjoying each other.

Take your good attributes or problems and ask yourself about them, catch yourself being amusing and enjoy the moment. I laugh at myself all the time, not just when others are I like myself! When I'm alone and bored and restless I "am" bored and restless with "Me" and, together, we come up with an idea of what to do.

I have the "Rutabaga" plan (the word "rutabaga" makes me smile all by itself, it seems so silly sounding) where if I'm bored or depressed I think of the thing I have most been putting off doing (cleaning bathrooms? :-) and start doing that, my theory being that if I already feel horrible, I might as well do that sort of thing since it can't "hurt" me further, I can't feel more horrible? Of course, I just think about doing whatever it is or even start doing it and a million other possible activities, all more interesting than that one, jump into my head? LOL Makes me laugh at myself how that works and/or reminds me of a child being bored and lamenting to their mother, "There's nothing to do!"?

Being friends with yourself is like having a bff with you at all times! You hurt, they comfort; you get bored, they use their wonderful imagination to think of something else to do; they get snarly, you laugh at them and jolly them back into good humor, etc.

http://www.anandawellnesscenter.com/...ers/June09.php

Thanks, Perna! I know you weren’t writing specifically to me, but it really strikes a chord, anyway.

Years ago there was a book “How to Be Your Own Best Friend”. Didn’t do me a lot of good because there were dissociated parts of me that I didn’t know about very well, and they had different attitudes toward things than the regular me did.

But now I know them! And we are all kinda friends. And together, as a whole, maybe this "be your own bff" might work!!

I luv that idea! Thanks so much! It is kind of hard to be friends with me. I know I don't really want to be friends with me. I guess some things need to change!

luv,
lbdrox

My doctor asked me recently if I think I am a good friend. And I thought for a second and said, yes. I think I am. And what I realized that I was doing was loving myself and giving myself affirmations.

And Perna reminded me of that. thanks for that post perna.

it is VERY important to be a good friend and to be proud of your traits that others can appreciate. It means you like yourself, and only then can other people really like u. (i mean they will like u anyway, but it will be a more solid connection if youre in touch with your own good qualities. )