Recent Privacy Issue

On one on line community I not only had to register but reviel to the one professional running the site what my actual real life address was because they sent an acceptance letter by snail mail and instructions for confirming my membership by logging in with a password contained in the snail mail letter.

That in itself prevented some (not all) people from coming on to start trouble because the one professional had who the person really was and confirmation since the person had to log in the first time with the given password.

Email addresses can be faked.

I have an email address posted. That is not my personal email. it is one I use for my writing, and various groups so that people have a way to contact me about groups, my writing and so on without it interfering with my personal life. I recieved that email by opening an email account using the pen name that I use for writing. Email services do not ask for ID varification.

a person can get a po box but they have to show the postal worker thir ID and so on to get those boxes so when a website administrator sends snail mail they are 98% guaranteed the person is who they say they are.

The bottom line is that even with snail mail registration protocals and email addresses when on line it is best to use the common sense rule of non disclosure. That way on line members are protecting themselves and will not have a problem in their real life such as what happened here.

I do think there's a little more security with restricted membership. I'm just saying it's not foolproof.

I agree it is a step up security wise and it is not fool prove

which is why I use common sense and do not use my biological name and geographical location and also phone numbers, addresses and so on when on line.

I agree the privacy must be upheld for the sake of the members here, because "outsiders" don't understand us and our various problems and they tend to take us for granted half of the time if not all of the time, I think one should only be able to veiw the community forum AFTER logging in with no exceptions!

OK, it was my own fault, is that what you want to hear? I posted a DOG'S picture and website address, not mine. I didn't give out my full name, address, phone number, blood type, fingerprints, or retinal scan information. And STILL I was targeted. So, yeah, I can see how this was all my fault.

I was raped in a sense. Are you saying I was asking for it?

I feel so deeply for you Wi, I know it's not your fault, and you definitely were not asking for it.

Thank you FleeingFox.

I may be over the initial shock, but I'm not over feeling horribly violated, even though they apologized profusely.

I was attacked and I fought back and they turned themselves in. What if someone who isn't so aggressive when backed into a corner were targeted instead? They might have let them get away instead of choosing to stand up to their attacker and that poster could still be here waiting to get angered by another poster and do it all over again.

In hindsight, would I change what I did? No.

More thought on this? Let's think about what the situation really was (from what we do know so far) and what some of the reactions/responses are saying.

First, yes, it is good to try and refrain from posting info that gives a stranger too much information. Yes, keeping search engines out, and maybe even non-members out, might be a good thing too.

However, this was not a search engine. This was not a non-member. This was a registered member, who deliberately, for whatever personal reason, decided to act out against another member here, and hunted and gathered information and used another person IRL to notify non members of a member's posting about a situation. IMO that kind of disordered person isn't fully stoppable. Even if the IRL ppl could not have come here and viewed the posts personally, that member could have, if so bent on doing so, printed the thread out and handed it to them. The problem wasn't the site, and certainly wasn't the victim. The problem was the problem member, imo.

All of us here deal with, either personally or with someone they know, mental unwellness. IDK if it really matters that those of us here KNOW what makes us feel so disordered, versus the "normal" ppl who don't realize what pushes their buttons ( ) but at least here we all know that others here need to be considered allies in the fight to heal, and we give basic trust to accomplish that.

It's very upsetting when that trust is betrayed, imo.

What I feel sad about, that a place that I have perceived to be safe, now appears to be unsafe. It took only a few minutes by one person to break the privacy rules here, and break the trust. Now it will take awhile for the trust to be rebuilt and re-established.

EJ

I just wanted to comment on what Gemstone said. I hope that I don't offend anyone and I have tried to stay out of this..lol

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I think having to be a member to read the posts on this board would be a positive thing.

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You are absolutely right, given the nature of what has happened. But, it is impossible(if you want to keep the forum alive) Administration and even moderators have a responsibility to not only keep the forum safe but to keep it open to newcomers. Unless you think that they should start advertising PC in newspapers and magazines, they need to keep the forum open to new faces. If you decide to close it up to those that aren't members, this site will die. I promise. I have seen it for myself. Except for the people left inside the walls(so to speak..lol)

If you really want to keep this site safe, security has to start with the server.

The site is the same as it was before the incident. What HAS changed is our perspective. That's not such a horrible thing, it was the way it happened that is so upsetting to many, imo.

The site is still the static site it was. There are still live, breathing, caring, human beings who are members, posting, reading and caring. That didn't change, really. The rules and guidelines are still intact.

What HAS changed is our perspective on our own "being here." With the offender gone from the site, why not feel safe again? Aren't we really SAFER now, than we were last week? Just because you might not have known that problem member was about to act like they did, did that make your safety any different?

Hasn't all that changed is the "sense" of safety, but not really the "safeness" at all? IMO, we're safe here. We are SAFER here, perhaps. Safer now because many members didn't think about not being safe. Maybe they aren't safe on another site, and now they will be safe there too...because they know what not to do, and what to do for safeness. Isn't learning good for us?

When you really step back and look... wow there are over 9000 "members" here...and yet... one... has done this at this time. That's pretty good, if you ask me! And anyone else even thinking about being mean and two faced (as someone once posted) we will be all the wiser about them. In fact, MORE of us here are wiser...not just the mods and admin and some other members who tend to know how to sense these things.. but so many more of us.. you... are wiser now.

I hope I'm not too general in my posting this... and that you can take some time and think about what I've posted. Sorry, sometimes my posts take too much thinking, I think, imo. (chuckling to myself.) I am a philosopher at heart Just can't help myself

We can feel safe again - imo- by deciding we are safe. We can determine that this has made us wiser, and thereby safer, and we can feel better now than we did. It might take a few tries, but it can be done. We might take a few steps forward and then back and then forward again.

We can do this...and it would be in our own best interest to... imo.

No ((((((((((wi_fighter)))))))

You are definately not to blame here for what happened to you. This thread is a discussion about peoples views on making this area - the community boards a members only area. So I am looking at all sides of whether or not turning these message boards into a restricted area is going to change anything preventing what happened to you from happening from other people.

On the one side restricting these boards to a members area makes it safer but will it prevent future breaches of privacy - no the only thing that can prevent that is if we on line take the same precautions that we do in real time.

You did not ask for this to happen to you and no where in any of my posts in any of the privacy issue threads have I (or anyone else that posted to these privacy issue threads) say you are to blame.

The situation happened and it just happens to have been you when it could have been any one of us that have had contact with whoever it was that did this to you.

So now that every one is discussing what to do to make this site and themselves safer.

My posts are not directed against you for what happened to you. I am just looking at all angles of the topic - changing these boards to restricted.

Im sorry this happened to you and I hope it never happens to anyone ever again.

Take care.

I am just making a comment.. Not pointing a finger.. k

Using common sense as you say is always a wise idea... But what I can make of this whole situation is a "MEMBER" wanted to do a dirty deed to another member... SO they directed others to wi-fighter's nic and told them to read her posts... This was not a random, somebody surfen the net and find Psych Central and decide to cause harm... All of this was started by a MEMBER......And if a member is going to cause harm, they are going to give all the info necessary out to "who ever" or is it "whom ever" to finish their dirty work as was done in this case.....

I've been around here for several years and as far as I can remember this has not ever happened before... Nor has a non-member at random visited this site and found info on member to use against them....

This whole incident was a vicious, DELIBERATE attempt of a member wanting to hurt another member.. And unfortunately they succeeded.

Exactly my point. we can change everything on the site itself but that in itself is not going to prevent this from happening again.

Im all for changing this place to restricted but Im also not going to lead others and myself into false hope that that in itself is going to take care of the situation. We can ask Doc John to restrict the site but we also need to consider how we reviel our personal information to others here too.

SongBird asked what we thought of the idea of changing this are to a restricted area to help solve the problem. We can do that and I am all for it BUT it was a member that did this against another so that in itself is not going to make things better. We need to use the common sense rules on line that we do in our real time lives also.

Brian,

I visit 3 other sites that only alow members to read the forums, and all have quite a lot of members, and they still get a lot of newcomers.

I don't think this site would die.

It's all so sad.

All of it. For everyone.

It is really sad.

I'm feeling horribly responsible. If I'd never said something to upset her, this never would have happened.

{{{{{ wi }}}}}}

This was not your fault. This could have happened to anyone here.

Don't go there wi.

It was not your fault.

If not you, then who?

If not now, when?

It's not you, it's not the site, it's that your personal space was violated by a member and we are all feeling the trickle down effect.

We're all a bit nervous that it will happen to one of us.
That we might tick someone off and the next thing you know our personal info is being used against us.

That's what is sad.

You should be holding your head high over the way you've handled yourself through all this. Remarkable.

I agree!

This was not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of this person.

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

((((((((((((( WI ))))))))))))))

Don't go there! It's NOT your fault! You are not responsible for another person's actions.

Hugs,

Jan

But I did say something that was hurtful when she was bragging about eating at McDonald's for four meals a day or more. It was referring to how she used to try justifying doing something illegal to earn money.

I was irritated because so many people had donated to her because she was so in need, and then she was throwing it in people's faces that she was eating her meals out all the time.