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#1
Jul 27, 2012, 11:06 PM
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Hello!
I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions on how to talk to new people without being nervous. I am scared out of my wits at the thought of meeting new people but I do try to make myself likable while still staying true to myself. If I think the person won't like who I am, I am more shy and reserved. Rejection kills me inside and sometimes I have serious suicidal thoughts because of it. Even if I don't know the person that well. I constantly believe people won't like me which makes me have low self-esteem and I view myself as an outsider, and I hate it. I would just like to socialize normally. Any ideas? Thanks! 
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 kindachaotic, wing
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 RunningEagleRuns
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#2
Jul 28, 2012, 01:29 PM
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hmm... can you talk to someone about it? a close trusted friend or something like that
__________________
God is good all the time! Mark 10:18 "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone. |
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#3
Jul 28, 2012, 02:01 PM
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do you see a therapist? it could help you a lot
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#4
Jul 28, 2012, 05:04 PM
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Last summer I did a dedicated CBT group for social phobia, and that helped me a lot. You might be able to find something similar.
One thing that I find helps me is to remember that most people are nervous meeting people for the first time. And a good way to start the conversation, is to ask people questions about themselves, like where they work, or what they're studying or how they know the host if it's at a party. People generally like to talk about themselves. We also have a social phobia support group here that meets once a month. You might find you have something similar in your area. Good luck. splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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#5
Jul 28, 2012, 07:18 PM
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People do generally likevto talk about simple things the weather, the olympics, news about Colorado anything people will answer if you compliment or notice something about them sorry about these typos.
I am very shy and my problems have made me gun shy around people I still try though as I need the interaction and am interested in others. Try looking up a news story and make light conversation about it. |
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#6
Jul 28, 2012, 07:51 PM
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The best advice that I can give you is just to go and talk to people. The best way to deal with anxiety other than using benzos (whole different topic) is to challenge it. It will suck and you will not enjoy it the first time although as you continue to do it and you gain more confidence and begin to meet new people you will be very happy that you choose to talk to that first person instead of shying away again.
__________________
"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence." - Richard Dawkins |
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#7
Jul 30, 2012, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
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#8
Jul 30, 2012, 10:43 PM
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Thank you for all the replies, everyone!
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#9
Jul 31, 2012, 08:40 AM
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Just a little add....
Please try hard to force yourself into social situations. The more you avoid them the harder it gets to get back into the world and be comfortable, this is something I have been struggling with lately and would actually say I am borderline agoraphobic, I am started to force myself a little bit....it used to be so easy for me to be in social situations I cant even remember what happend to make me otherwise.... there is also this website called meetups.com where you can find groups that have common interests and have get togethers...I have even found support groups on here... http://www.meetup.com/
__________________
Invictus it matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley |
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#10
Aug 02, 2012, 08:44 AM
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I have social anxiety and I agree that therapy and role-playing can help.
It's true that it is hard to force myself into social situations, especially ones where I have been manic or depressed in before. Fear of judgement and rejection... I recently moved and know NO ONE. I decided I was not going to let social anxiety paralyze me and joined 2 book clubs, a support group and signed up for a class in September. I'm anxiety ridden before getting to these meetings, but so far able to sit quietly through them. Since there is a focus other than just chit-chat, it is an easier transition for me. It might help to join some things where chit chat isn't the focus. For me, support groups are essential practice of the skills I need. |
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#11
Aug 04, 2012, 08:11 AM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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