ACTION

To create the best possible support team, try the following tips:

Build more relationships that nourish and restore you-with a coach, buddy, spiritual advisor, mentor or role model. Spend time with people who will hold you to a higher standard.

Pay less attention to relationships that make it easy for you to maintain the status quo. Some friends will always tell you what you want to hear and let you get away with failure. Spend your time with friends who understand your goal and will help you grow.

Terminate negative relationships-those focused on gossip, mutual complaining, or making excuses. They add nothing to your journey and are not a good investment of your time and energy.

Intentionally open yourself to meeting new people.
Get buy-in from your family. If you can help your family members see how your goal directly benefits them, you'll get more of their support. For example, if you're going back to work, you can point out that the money you make will help pay for a nice family vacation. If your goal is to lose weight, you can explain that being healthier will mean you'll have more energy to be with your kids and spouse.

Get a support buddy or partner. Share your daily insights and draw strength from each other. This not only provides accountability structure, but it makes the process more fun and enjoyable.

No, thank YOU!!!

(((((((((tomi)))))))))))) good one!

(((((((((((( SeptemberMorn ))))))))))))

Wise words.

Learning. Thank you.

choose carefully...and march forward.......

great post tomi....thanks

Awesome post, thanks alot......that makes me think about the negative and useless relationship I have with my drug addicted mother and sister. I'm on the verge of letting go.....I think I may, I'm tired of them bringing me down.

Thanks alot Sept!!

Like the bumper sticker says, mean people suck! The further we keep from them the better. Surround me with bunny (ie unconditonal) love. Thank you kind friends, knowing you're all out there in the struggle means so much to me.

This is a great post Tomi.......It would be great to have friends other than my dogs & horses. I no longer have any family except my husband with the relationship being only tolerance (for as long as that lasts) & my daughter who is definitely a daddy's girl. The few people who are friends are very tied up with their families too. It seems like we are there for each other when really bad things happen, but the rest of the time, we chat once in a while over the phone.

Unfortunately, I am not a magician that can make something out of nothing, & I hate hearing excuses (especially my own) as to why something can't happen, but there is no place at this point in my life where I can make that kind of relationship happen. I am spending 95% of my life trying to pack up 2 homes to get them ready for sale, trying to plan where I am going to move to, & the last 5% I use to care for my 4 legged family memembers & my 2 new fin members.

The best I can do right now is my weekely sessions with my psychologist which I couldn't live without. My anxiety attacks are getting increasingly worse & more & more triggers are hitting....even when watching stupid TV programs & movies. I think the worse part of it all is that I realize that I am the only one that can make me better & I put even more pressure on myself causing the tornado to never end. I have even realized that my anger is getting to be really horrible to the point I can hardly tolerate anything anymore.

Guess at this point, I am not even sure where to place myself so that any possible relationships might happen. I agree completely with your points of action, & know how correct you are. I guess I am hoping & praying that once I get settled into my retirement location & all my plans start actually happening, that I will be much more able to find a place that I can find a place to make the kind of friends that will be the positive relationships that I so badly need. It is scarry at this point trying to move from point A to point B, not really having a specific plan.....with my pdoc & psychologist telling me to just live from day to day right now & to think of only 1 thing at a time to keep from getting as overwhelmed as I am.

Life really seems to get complicated at times even when I try to do only 1 thing at a time. When I have to take a day or more out for stupid anxiety attacks, then I feel even worse.

But what you wrote is the best overall goal to plan for in my life....(just like the train that could......I think I can....I think I can.

Thanks for your positive words Tomi,
Debbie

Really good post! ((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))

{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}

I really needed to hear that!!!!

((((((((((( Tomi ))))))))))))

Thank you for these wise words!

I'm glad ya'll have liked this one. That's what I've done with my circle of friends and support system. You have to keep your eyes and ears open and your heart, too. There are times when you have to do some weeding. It can be painful at times, but it's something that has to be done from time to time.

I got a garden hoe and plan to use it hahahaha

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nothemama8 said:
I got a garden hoe and plan to use it hahahaha

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Love it!!!