I Need Help, For The Sake Of My Sanity

Okayy, so idk where else I shouldve posted this, so here it is. Im going crazy, seriously. I need to be reassured so bad..My boyfriend &I are 17, &of course, like normal teens, we're gonna jack off. Well, I was lookin through my computer &I found a bunch of sites about little girls, like 7 to 14 modeling on a website..and hes jacking off to it..I dont kno whut to think about that, &it scares meh. I mean, we all have fantasies right? I kno he's not actually messing with little girls, but it still freaks meh out that he gets off on them..It scares the **** outta meh actually. I cant confront him about it, cus then he'll kno im lookin through **** I shouldnt be, &he has a big issue with that..

I dont wanna lose him, but I wanna kno if I should be concerned. Cus everyone has a fantasy, like rape &such. &roleplay. I just need to be reassured before I really start freaking out..

I think you SHOULD freak out! He's not NORMAL. If he thinks that's "sexy" then there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with that creep!!! I'd TELL him I was going thru his stuff, and tell Him I think he's a SICK S.O.B. and to get help! Then I'd get out the door as fast as I could, and REPORT the piece of crap, cause if hes gettiing & sending child porn, that's illegal!

He's dangerous, sweetie -- he just might ACT on his strange "fantasy" one of these days, and you don't want to be associated with a creep like that. Get out of that relationship. He's dangerous! Hugs, Lee

Agree with everything above poster said!!!

Just because you love him you can not "FIX" him. Being 17 is no excuse to be looking at young girls, it is a sick fantasy.

Look up stats, this is an obcession that uaually last a lifetime & can escalate easily into acting upon these fantasies.

Please, if for no other reason than to keep from yourself from getting into legal trouble. GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY!!! Report him now!!!

This is in no way normal. The fact that what he's seeing excites him puts him one step closer to truly acting on his excitement. Also, it is illegal to have child pornography and if these things are on your computer you could be held responsible legally. At 17, you're young, exploring your bodies and sexuality. THAT is normal. Being 17 and exploring sexuality through children is NOT. I highly recommend you break away from your boyfriend. If something feels wrong, it usually is and you should learn to follow that instinct. You have it for a reason. I wish you the best of luck and smartest of decisions.

dont take it so lightly .i used to have a 14year old neighbor that showed me/told me about all the "men" i thought i knew and were 'cool' ,she was sleeping with and iwas furious i coulda killed thoes guys at the time. (25-30yr olds that jus used her) . i think ur bf could be one of thoes guys in the future..

If at all possible communicate to him that his behavior is disturbing, from a distance. If he is indifferent about that then he is probably indifferent about other important personal issues. If he wants to seek counseling for it, then support him if that is what you want to do.

I agree with the others. I know this is not an easy position for you to be in, but i would not stay around. If he wants to know why, tell him and let him know he needs help. Ant this point, your seeeing it on his computor is a much smaller problem. Take care, and good luck, dear.
HUGGGGSSSSSSS

Get him to seek help and manage it - if possible. You might be able to escape him, but remember that all these warnings are based around what he MIGHT become.

Someone else might not get the forewarning you did - so if you can talk to him about it (without things getting dangerous/overly upsetting) then I'd say try.

that's just disturbing and weird.
if that happened to someone i knew, well... i'd leave them instantly probably

I completely agree with Leed. I would report it. It's illegal, and nipping this in the bud might save some little girl's life somewhere down the line.

It's sick. Run as fast as you can. And I'm going to sound annoyingly old here, but it's highly unlikely that you're going to stay with, marry, and grow old with the boy you're dating at 17. I know it's possible, but just not likely. So why not fast forward and move on to someone better?

Yes, everyone has fantasies, but that's not a fantasy, that's sick. And it could be a good indication that he might become a very dangerous man.

Good luck! This must be an incredibly difficult situation for you. But I'm glad you snooped around his computer. This can't continue.

I'm surprised that so many people here are willing to tell you to cut and run and never have anything to do with anyone who has looked at this stuff before. Although what your boyfriend is looking at is not normal and is not healthy, I don't believe it means that he can't address this issue in a healthy manner by changing his behavior.

I'll preface this by stressing that this is my opinion. Perhaps what everyone else is saying is right and I want you to be open to what they have to say. I know the thought of leaving your boyfriend may be incredibly difficult and you may be looking for any excuse not to. Don't let anything I say justify allowing your boyfriend to be involved in something so unhealthy.

I believe that what you absolutely need to discuss with your boyfriend what you encountered on his computer. Yes, you shouldn't have been snooping, but that doesn't change what you found. If your boyfriend accuses you of breaking his trust, let him know that the child pornography is the real issue here and that you will have to break things off if he can't make you believe that he will stop looking at the porn, that he understands it's illegal, and that he understands that child porn isn't any better than performing the actual act.

For all we know, this could have been an isolated event -- perhaps he was unsure about his feelings and began to explore child porn to confirm what he feels. I know that I've looked at mentally unhealthy things (suicide videos, for example), but I'm happy that I have a boyfriend who would not leave me for those thoughts but who stills expects me to cope with my issues the way a normal, healthy person would do and not in the unhealthy ways I have done in the past.

It's important that this is addressed. I believe that your boyfriend can change by changing his behavior and understanding the consequences. If he can't do both of those, then things need to be broken off. Being unhealthy is one thing, but refusing to take care of your health is another.

If you are uncomfortable with the relationship, for whatever reason, you need to know that sometimes it is better for your health to call it quits. Your health matters too.

random stranger ? , what did you decide to do, ? or have you, yet? i think, and this is just opinion, you can either stay out of his computer which he seems to hold in higher regard than you, and let him watch and get off to whatever he desires, or you can do something about it, from leaving him to i hope reporting him in either case, i am sorry you had to experience that

I agree with Odee. If there is any chance of him recovering, it's now. If there is the option to get him help rather than breaking for it, running away, & waiting until he finds a little girl of his own? I'd take it. But that's just me. I feel that prevention is better than ignoring the underlying issues.

Again, get out, tell someone. Do not tell him what you found, he might have things worse than what you saw and get violent at the thought of his secret being exposed. You can't help him.

I agree! A lot of guys do eventually act their fantasies unless they get some help first. I know because my first husband was into some real wierd sexual fantasies--like rape fantasy. I didnt like it but I figured if I just gave him enuff sex, he would eventually get over it. But things just worse--he would purposely try to start fites with me so he could have an excuse to beat me to a pulp, then force me to have sex. I finally had to get out of there.

sorry but it is not that simple.