i didn't know where to put this.

im a little lonely and worrysome because of college starting, but other than that, i think i'll be okay..
i just really wish there was someone to talk to:P

Never Fear! We're all here!

<3<3<3
oh my thank you all!

im doing a bit better, stress is dropping, im raising money, college is fun

i also found a magic pill that can make my sicknesses go away!!!

I used to go to magic shows while I was in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I would earn a ticket through a sponsor program. The magic was fantastically demonstrated. Smoke! Mirrors! A pair of women each stuffed in a black box, appearing to be sawed in two. I believed it. It seemed so real! This man was truly a magician if I had ever known one!

Behold, the man would take a loyal subject from the audience each year. I always wished to be selected. 6th grade, it was a boy with glasses and spiky hair. 7th grade, it was a tall fat boy with pimples. 8th grade, I was chosen!

He spent 45 minutes after the show with me. He showed me all of his tecniques. Lo and behold, every single magic trick I had marveled at before, and believed was true, was an elaborate hoax perpertrated over the entire audience. I was a little wiser that day. I never went to another magic show again.

Umm, what does this have to do with this thread?

im not sure, but it certainly was an interesting read:P
i probably would've kept going to those magic shows though, just because even though thier hoaxes, thier still pretty spectacular to the eyes
although when i said "magic pill" before, i actually meant the over the counter pills that make you feel better in an instant:P

Illegal toilet, it is because Distant Malice posted that he found a magic pill that would make all of his problems go away. That led me to my only experience with magic. Hope this helps! Sincerley, Glinda Gail

Your right Distant Malice! I am going to make a decision today that if I am ever invited to another magic show some time in my life, I will indeed go. The magician is not out to trick me and make me feel foolish. He might not laugh all night long about how stupid I was to believe his ruse. I hope not.

I will work on this. I hope to one day be able to vist a magic show and not be certain that the magician is trying to harm me by purporting a ruse. I will overcome this fear, one day at a time. Thank you Distant Malice. For reminding me that there most certainly are good things out there, in the greatest unknown. Your friend, Glinda Gail

ah:O
i don't believe he was trying to hurt you.
magicians, circus performers, actors, etc.
anything you go to watch is full of people who are looking to give others entertainment, and that they do!
if they were really trying to hurt you, don't you think someone would've done something by now to stop it?
its all for entertainments sake, to give you something you can escape to for a while if the real worlds giving you problems, to make you laugh
etc,etc,etc

oh no..its happening again.
these fears
thier coming back
im freaking out.
i don't even feel comfortable in my own skin.
oh god..
i don't , i just don't know what to do..

What's up DM...pop on and let us know if we might help ok? Sometimes staying connected can get your focus away from distress.

Hi DistantMalice,

What's been going on lately? Anything to make your anxiety go up? Situations with family or isolation at all? Keep in mind that it's not far until your doc apt. And break the time up. You aren't alone. 5 more days..less than a week.

Also u said u founda magic pill...anything that could cause a withdrawal? That can cause what ur feeling, especially super anxiety/fear and the uncomfortable in your own skin part.

Just another Hi DM. You mentioned an appointment on the 6th. How are you feeling about it? Let us know how things are going. Be good to hear you're getting through this.

my life is falling apart again.
i have the appointment,yes.
but..i just don't deserve it. any of it, anything. i don't deserve it.

I am so glad you replied! You deserve good things. You definitely deserve to get better. You don't deserve what's been happening to you. But, you are strong. You are fighting it. You came here. You made the apt. Only 2 days away. I had the same thoughts earlier. I don't deserve anything good because I blame myself. The chemicals in our bodies trick us sometimes to think that. Are you ok today?

IMMS speaks the way it really is DM. We're not in the place you are right now and I'm not sure about IMMS but I HAVE been and recognize the despair. You are at a point where you need this meeting with the right folks who have the ability to help you...you're not sporting the tools right now to fight this alone. You've acknowledged that to be true but recognize the truth that with some help you'll get back the tools you need to feel better. Whatever it takes DM please give things a go. It can get better. Many people who've walked similar paths can attest to that. Let us know how you are today ok? Take care DM...Quizzickle

hey everyone:/

How's it going, DM?

i...i don't know anymore..
im losing myself.
its all falling apart.
i don't want to turn into these terrible things my mind says i am.
my appointment was rescheduled.
monday the 22nd.
im panicking. i don't have money to get help.
i don't know anymore.
i feel like..everythings falling apart.

:O wow..i haven't felt like an attention ***** for such a long while.
...
when the 22nd rolls around, i'll post a response to this saying how my appointment went.

You're not being an attention *****. You're just having a difficult time right now. And since I am, too, I had a difficult time figuring out what to say. I really hope this next appointment starts your journey to finding answers. It may not be quick, but at least it will happen. Hang in there.

my appointment landed me in the hospital.
they told me to go to a place in seattle to get checked in and evaluated.
but i have school so i can't go anytime soon.
apparently when i go get evaluated i'll get a counselor.
these unwanted thoughts and anxiety problems, mabye i'll finally find a solution and destroy them.