i studied up before it even happened

how many of us, for whatever reason... give it to curiosity into science and pschology at a young age..

read up about these kinds of things before anything people deem as a "mental illness" appeared into their lives?

i guess what i'm asking is who here is stuck in that maddening place of seeing both sides of the coin simultaneously at the same time?

it's like being eternally stuck at the crossroads of what you beleive to be "right" and "wrong"
and

you've walked the paths many times before

why does the "wrong" path always look so much more beautiful at times?

I'm not sure what you're asking really. All I know is that at a young age, I knew I was "different" than most others my age. I don't remember reading about things like this. I just knew I was different.

I supposed there were times when I thought "maybe" I was normal, but there sure weren't many.

So again, I don't know what you're asking. I guess I'm not 'deep" enough. LOL I must TRULY be mentally ill, huh? Hugs, Lee

I agree with LEE totally

Yep me too

I've always known I've had my disorder. Only, my mind won't see both sides of anything at once. I have Borderline. It's either heads or tails. There is no in between.

"i guess what i'm asking is who here is stuck in that maddening place of seeing both sides of the coin simultaneously at the same time?

it's like being eternally stuck at the crossroads of what you beleive to be 'right' and 'wrong'"

I know exactly what you mean. It's almost funny, in an ironic sense. I loved reading through the DSM. Books about living with someone who is schizophrenic or bipolar or antisocial or has dissociative identities. Memoirs of being insane. Pretty much anything to do with the mentally ill. I loved books about philosophy, mainly the kind that questions reality.

And now I'm here. And it feels so strange. Almost like I sealed my own fate.

i knew that i was different too but not that i have a disorder. i dont have any mental illnesses at a young age, i can know the real reason why one says something, like if he really mean it or why is he saying those things, which is different from what the others think about it. i studied why it happen.

i know that you dont get my point. it is one of my main problems. i have difficulty in expressing my thoughts. but its okay, i was just sharing

I've read about bipolar disorder before my therapist suggested that was the case for me (we both know it's not completely confirmed, but I can see the signs now.) It was my experience with depression that sparked the interest into mood disorders.

I always thought "Damn! Bipolar is CRAAAAZY, I can't imagine!" But now I think I can imagine what it's like.