[LostMom3]

This started with my manic spell almost a week ago. When I finally came off the mania after 3 days I went to sleep. I slept for 4 hours and was woke up by the phone ringing. It was my 20 year old son. He is bipolar, adhd, odd, and ocd. He has hallucinations and paranoia. Well, anyway. He was all panicked wjen he called. Said he was going back to jail. He jsut for out of prison a month ago. Said juvenile probation was taking a warranr out on him. Then he said he knocked out a drug dealer forhaving drugs near him. He was in another city and had no way to get home. I don't drive so I couldn't help there but I did call juvenile probation. Told them it had just been so long since we dealt with them we just forgot he still had to report to them too. They said they would not arrest him if he just got to the office by the next morning. I called to tell him and he snapped on me about something else. I rold him I could not deal with him right now I was needing sleep and having a tough time myself. He told me I was a bad mother a pill popper. I hung up on him and started crying.. He knows my buttons.About 8 hours layer he finally called and apologized.Said he was just angry.
That night I got about 4 hours sleep again when the telephone rang. It was about my ex-Mother-in-law. She has stage 4 cancer and they had to adnit her to the hospital. The doctor said he had done all he could. She is in God's hands now. I got my youngest son(her grandson) and we headed for the hospital. My ex-husband is in jail for possession with intent to distribute methamphetimines, for the 3rd time. The doctor got the officers at the jail to bting him to the hospital, and that made it hit home, she is really not going to beat this. My son is 16 and has seen his dad do drugs, found his needles and drugs, and they have fought so much over the past year. My son did not want to see his dad, so we left before he got there.
With all of this going on and no sleep hardly and me just now starting to take some of my meds again I am having issues. I am seeing my little creatures and hearing the voices worse than ever. It is making me want to hole up in a dark room. But that is not feasible right now. My son needs me. But I am having to fight these voices telling me to kill myself or my creatures will do it. I don't want to die, so I argue with them constantly.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. You certaiinly have an awful lot going on right now, and this isn't a good time for all this to happen.

I'm sorry about your son and your ex mother-in-law. I know that hurts you. But there is NOTHING you can do about either of them. Your son is out of your hands now, just as your mother in law is too. You did what you could for your son. Now, you just have to wait and see.

It sounds like your meds are not working very well if you're still seeing creatures. Of course if you're just started on these meds, you have to give them time to work,, so wait a little while and see what happens. So hold STRONG and don't give in to those voices!!!! You are an IMPORTANT part of life! You can't give in as your son needs you as well as many other people.

Keep posting and we'll keep listening, ok? I wish you the very best, my friend. God bless you and please take care of YOU> Hugs, Lee

[jelly-bean]

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through so many hard things at once. As Leed said, hold strong against the creatures. They don't need you nearly as bad as your youngest son does. We need you to be better too. Wait for the meds to work and call your doctor if you think they need adjusting. Let us know how it goes for you!