[desirae]

Yesterday I was outside with my children when the neighborhood kids started to bombard me because I had my wagon with me. Well there was this really nice little boy who asked me how old my son was. I told him two and he mentioned he had a two year old little brother and he was going to go get him to play with my son. Well I discovered that the two year old was the little baby I see running around here all alone, barefooted, sometimes naked, and filthy dirty.

It kind of aches my heart to see this. My husband tells me to mind my own business and focus on my own children. I mean I understand that, but it still bothers me that he runs around a parking lot all day long.

I did talk to somebody at Mountain Heart (financial aid for day care), and I explained this situation to the woman who interviewed me. She wants me to call the police.

To be honest there is no way I will call the police, if I did that and the rest of the complex discovered I did they will chase us out, that's how it is here in WV because everyone is kin.

I need some advice on how I can do this anonymously so nobody has any idea that I said anything.

[PsychStudent74]

Since they live by you make it a point to meet the parents. Go over and introduce yourself. See for yourself what is going on and then maybe you can help or just go with your gut feeling from there.

[(JD)]

Isn't that wonderful that the child you were worried about was brought to you! I hope you can use that introduction to help them with the knowledge you have about keeping children safe. This way, it isn't like you intruded... you've been invited imo.

[Lexicon78]

That is quite a difficult situation. I guess you have to weigh which is more important...your living arrangement or the child's welfare.

I firmly believe it is the community's responsibility to raise the children, not just the parent's. Knowing that your hubby said it wasn't your business really saddens me a lot. I may be the rare person that would report it in a second no matter what would happen to me. That's just me I guess. Protect a child at all costs.

[SeptemberMorn]

Desirae, can't you call Family or Child Protective Services and make an annonymous call??

I've done that before and wasn't given up.

[tracylee]

I'd make an anonymous call mate!! Thank God for people like you!!

[Rapunzel]

Or you can try to get to know the family and see if there is something they need help with. I always wonder with stuff like that wat is going on with the parents to cause it. Maybe it's a depressed mom who is struggling with just getting through the day and isn't aware of what her kids need. Maybe nobody ever taught her.

[eskielover]

I know here in California, there are hot lines for elderly abuse & child abuse. They can be called anonomously & then they take action from there. Unfortunately, I personally found out about this when the police were called anonomously accusing me of abusing my mother (elderly abuse). The police came out immediately & were totally rude, not even willing to listen to what was happening to me & the fact that the home care RN was the one pulling ID theft at the time. It was a frightening experience being accused of something that I didn't do, but it is good to know that kind of help is available when there actually is a problem. When the RN OD'ed my mother on morphine, & my mother was taken to the hospital, I was finally able to get together with the social worker at the hospital & we both filed a report with Adult Protective Services against the RN.

The only point I feel strongly about is that it is necessary that you really should know the complete story of why the child is running around all day without supervision before ever getting the authorities involved.....I know what it was like when I was being acussed of something I didn't do....that is why I would try to find out alot more about the situation before bringing in the authorities. Things aren't always what they look like. I had a rebelious young daughter & when we on vacation in Jackson Hole Wyo in winter -40 degrees, she got mad at us & went out into the snow without any shoes or socks on.....running away. We just waited until she got cold enough to come back in, but she was so stubborn, it took her a long time to come back into our condo. My point being that since you were introduced to the child, it would be a good idea to get to know the parent (mother or father) who is caring (or who isn't caring) for the child before taking any action.

Debbie

[Maven]

I'm with Lex. If I knew someone (child or adult) was being abused or neglected, I wouldn't hesitate to call the police. A child may have no one to help him or her. With an adult, s/he may be too afraid to go to the police, so I'd do what I can; if I tried to help him/her a few times and s/he refused to leave the guy/woman, then I'd leave that situation be. But a child has to depend on adults to help.

I'm going to say this, even if others don't like it: If you know of an abusive situation, don't know if anyone's doing anything about it, and you don't try to help, you're guilty, too. You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.

[hillbunnyb]

I'm glad you are gonna do something. Even if you have to figure out what.

[Kaligirl99]

Calling CPS or the police would only be causing a problem for the kids and the family. May you could talk to the parents and see if there is anything you can do to help. You seem to be a good mother to your child maybe you can help. You did say the older boy seemed nice, It would be an action that you would have to live with if by calling outsiders this family would be ripped apart. sorry it's just my opinion

[SeptemberMorn]

One of the times I called CPS on a neighbor, what CPS did was get emotional help for the woman, sent her to parenting classes and provided a baby sitter during the time she was at the functions to help her deal. It's not always all bad!

[Kaligirl99]

I am just saying that other options should be used befor getting outsiders involved. As a neighbor there are thing she could do. Instead of going to the "last resort." And you are right sometimes it doesn't go bad, but sometimes it does.

[Monty_girl]

Desirae, I believe that you should always go with what your gut tells you. And it sounds like your's is saying that there is something wrong there.

Look in the front of your phonebook and it should have an abuse hotline # to call. You should call them and just tell them you are worried to give your name for fear it will get out if they ask you for it. I've had to give my name just because I work for a state agency. But just as a lay person you shouldn't have to.

I don't think I would go over to their apt. There is no telling what is going on in the apt. They could be making/ selling / or doing drugs. Meth is a very popular drug and if they are making or using meth in there it could be danagous to your health just to even walk in there.

I would say if the kids are outside and talking to you and the mother comes up, then maybe get to know her that way. But just be careful.

Good Luck,
Monty

I would not call authorities unless there's an absolute good reason for doing so unless you're planning to move.
People retaliate viciously if/when they find out someone called child protection services on them.
Can you mail an anonymous letter to the house of the mother of the child? A typed out letter-no return address-sent through the postal service?
I don't know what you would write though. Maybe an article about child neglect.
Nothing specific about being in the parking lot 'cause then they could deduct who it could be. Keep it very general but to the point of she's neglecting her child.
That's it. See what happens. Mail it as far away from your neighborhood as you can-don't mail it in the same community you live in. They can look at the post stamp and see it was mailed in their neighborhood.
That's the only thing I can think of.
If that fails and things continue or even get worst then send an annonymous type written letter,with no return address, to the police. Again, make it very generalized so the police won't even know you live where you can look over and see the parking lot where these incidents are occuring.
Protect yourself as best you can.
There will be no living there if anybody finds out. I would also fear for your safety if they got a lot of family around.
Take care of yourself.

[wisewoman]

I used to ask myself if I was enabling a family to neglect their children more by feeding them, clothing them, loving them. Then one day after I had been admonished to leave the kids alone, they were home with Dad after I had the little ones for the day, he is out back and the three year old gets struck and killed by a car. There is no question where children are concerned. We all need to protect them. I would and have made annoumous calls to CPS stating I was a delivery driver or was lost and found this home with babies in the road or whatever. You could call and give the location to the police without even giving them the family's name. If police start patrolling they can learn who the children are and intervene without putting you at risk. You could even say you were a delivery driver who almost ran over a naked baby. Yes, it's a lie, one that protects you and the children.

I see so many opinions here. You need to do what you feel is best.

Great idea wisewoman!

[desirae]

All- This all means so much to me. All though some opinions are very different from one another, I receive knowledge and advice from both ends and it was exactly what I needed.

Thanks so much.

[desirae]

Psychstudent74- To be honest meeting the parents would be near impossible since I have no idea who they are. I see their kids very often, but not once have I ever seen them. The kids could be out there all day and I would never see them check on them.

But if I did happen to run into her, I think I would make a friendly impression and kind of chat here and there and see how she would refer to her children.

[desirae]

Sky- I definitely think I was lucky that I was introduced to this child. He was very timid and shy but seemed happy with his brother. I'm not sure what to make of the entire situation.

[desirae]

I agree 100% that there should be some sort of involvement with the community, and that an abled adult should take at least a bit of interest in the children around them. I don't understand why my husband feels this way. I mean I agree to an extent but the baby still remains on my mind. I know he feels bad for the child but he won't act and recommends that I don't.

[desirae]

Tracylee- Aw that's sweet but don't thank me yet because I still fear mentioning this.....although I do tend to ignore my fear and force myslef to do what's right

[desirae]

Eskielover- That's my number one fear actually. I fear that my assumptions can be exaggerated because I was there at the wrong time. I mean there are things out there that appear to be something they are completely not.

I think before I do any sort of drastic measure I should be watchful a little longer. Kind of give a peek out my front window and see if I ever see the parents doing anything. Hopefully I'll find out what apartment they live in soon so when I drive by I can check to see if he's okay.

[desirae]

Wisewoman- That is quite a clever idea because there happens to be a lot of deliveries going on right now because the complex is getting all new windows in the apartment.

I really like that thanks.

[EJ711]

Desirae -

In Kansas people are able to report problems anonymously to social services.

EJ