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#1
Oct 06, 2004, 12:49 AM
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I was wonder if this counts as abuse. When I was about 7, my step-dad remarried. I remember that my younger step-brother (by 11 months) starting playing sex games with me. It went far beyond the I'll show you mine if you show me yours behavior. I remember being naked in bed with him and he'd be touching my vagina and I'd also touch his penis. We would also french kiss and also rub our genitals together. It teetered off in a few years, but to this day is still bugs me. I often wondered if he was abused before I met him, and also if my acceptence of sexual behavior in this instance led to my tolerence of the undoubted sexually abusive behavior of his brother my step-brother who was 4 years older than I was, beginning around the time I was nine. I still feel very uncomfortable about this because he was younger than me, and we were both very young at the time.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#2
Oct 06, 2004, 10:57 AM
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It's possible, I guess, from what I am told. My brother (4 years older) "played games" with me. I was too young really to know or understand. To me, it was all play and make believe, and I trusted my brother. He was in his teens/early teens, so he knew what he was doing. I didn't. It's still hard for me to see it as abuse because it was all play to me. By the way, this same brother asked me if I would go out with him and sleep with him when I was 18. Of course I said "NO!"
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My life and being formerly homeless 
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#3
Oct 06, 2004, 11:26 AM
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Your step-brother was probably sexually abused and he was doing with you what he learned how to do when he was abused. At that young of an age (of the abuser), it's not legally labeled "abuse" but I think it still has some of the same effects. This would be a tough thing to grapple with for sure. I think the way to make sense of it would be to understand you were both so young, and both impressionable. Both exposed to things you shouldn't have been exposed to, at a very young and innocent age.
It is not uncommon for young kids who have been abused to go on to do the same thing to other kids, unfortunately. Not unlike how kids who get hit are more likely to hit other kids.  I hope this helps. Angela
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 Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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#4
Oct 06, 2004, 03:03 PM
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I understand that he has no legal liability, since he was just a kid. I, however, feel somewhat guilty since I know that he has gone on to abuse others. I'm left wondering if I'd gone and told someone what was happening, if they could have helped him so he didn't end up throwing his life away, and so he didn't end up hurting someone else. I feel guilty for not making certain that it ended with me.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#5
Oct 06, 2004, 03:11 PM
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Is a tiny little girl responsible for the world? No. You were not a grown-up with grown-up responsibilities. You were just a little girl. Would you blame a child?
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Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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#6
Oct 07, 2004, 03:45 PM
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You cannot feel responsible when you did not even know it was sexual abuse. It is a sad thing when children abuse other children. Especially since it is usually the result of an abusive parent.
I am so sorry for what has happened to you. Jessica
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"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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#7
Oct 07, 2004, 10:15 PM
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Thanks for the support everyone. I'm trying not to blame myself, but I'm having a hard time because I guess I expect that at that age I should have been able to respond more appropriatly. I'll try to stop blaming myself.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#8
Oct 07, 2004, 10:21 PM
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Merlin,
Is there really an appriopiate way to respond? Feelings are about the individual. Perhaps as you work through what has happened your reactions and feelings will change. There is not a right or wrong though....there just is. Jessica
__________________
"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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