Hoarding

I am not sure under which heading this subject would fall. Anyone know?

I have a problem with buying too much. When things go on sale - particularly canned goods - I stock up. Granted, I was taught this as a child by relatives who lived in a house with lots of space. But, I live in a 1-bedroom apartment.

A deal is a deal but I have to start learning to buy in smaller quantities. I also have too many books. Considering that I am a very slow reader - I seem to have some form of ADHD - they are mostly gathering dust.

So, for the record, I have too many canned goods, too much pasta and pasta sauce, too many dress shirts (by last count, 20 that are still in the wrapper), jeans (I hope I don't gain weight b/c they will no longer fit), Polartech sweaters, boxes of tissues, wine and scented candles.

I guess it's a sign that I am overprotective and would rather spend money on material things rathen than experience life. When you have social phobia like me then shopping becomes a social thing. I know it will be a very hard habit to break.

Unhappy, I was just thinking this morning how I have accumulated too much "stuff"! I have a small house, to which I intentionally downsized and downpriced several years ago. I hired an auction company, when I sold the bigger house to sell most of my stuff. Now, I seem to have just filled up this small house too much. I too have social anxiety, would rather be alone than subject myself to social situations. I take a kind of pleasure/comfort in buying things I "need." I'm procrastinating in the impending job of cleaning out my garage, where now there is just a small walkway to the outside! (Like on the Hoarders TV program!) Thankfully, I don't allow debris to collect in the house, and take some pride in keeping a clean and clutter-free environment, but the garage and additional storage building (which I've bought since moving into the smaller house!) have filled up and have become impassable. When I think of the task of the garage/storage bldg, I become overwhelmed!

My neighbor is a hoarder. Without going on and on and on and on like I could, all I will say is that because of the condition of her property, her neighbors won't help her, don't like her even though most admit she's a nice person.

Unhappyguy & Seeker, I have several things in common with both of you.
The craziest thing is my obsession with ziplock bags (freezer ones).
Gotta have 2-4 boxes of each, snack, pint-gallon & if on sale get even more...
Would be different if I had a garden & froze veggies, but I don't...
Just need to know my stash is there.

Having extra food is good in my book. Spending on clothes you might not even wear is a whole different business. Better use that money on something else. You could stop buying books since you already have a bunch, if something really interests you, borrow the book instead. And don't forget to rotate the cans so they don't get wasted.

Rather than trying to change radically, try to figure out what in the "hoarding" that makes sense. Some of it does.

i think hoarding is a type of anxiety. it could also be a form of OCD. do you think, "i have to buy this? and i if i dont...?" that would obsessive thinking.

i would see someone about it either way. because behavior therapy could really help.

I too am a hoarder..... I collect plastic bags, dvd's and I had a habit in my early 20's collecting money.... in the UK we have "coppers" which are 1 pence and 2 pence pieces. They just collect dust so I collected them turns out in about 4 years I had accumulated £600 oops!!! My Mum made me cash it all in least I had extra money lol!

It's hard as when I am manic I tend to buy dvd's which is good but then I run out of space for them. Carrier bags are just a nightmare but I can't stop collecting them

I haven't visited this site for a while, and I noticed they changed some things, or I'd suggest to you that Hoarding falls under OCD, but there doesn't seem to be a specific category for that anymore. That might be a good thing; I think more people will see your post, so, even if they don't have the same issue, they might still have an answer for you.

I'm with you when it comes to books. I buy more than I can read, although I've taken a difficult step and stopped buying them, for the most part. There are exceptions (like, if I see a new romance novel featuring pirates, I will consider getting it), but it's very rare for me to buy them now, tempting though it is. I still buy magazines, though. I am a slow reader, IMO, and that has to do with my OCD and ADD, I believe. I don't "absorb" what I read sometimes, and have to re-read it, sometimes several times. I went through all my books several months ago, discarding the ones I felt I wouldn't mind not reading, because with the books I've kept, it will still fill up my time--years--of reading. I have them all packed away to keep dust from them, but reachable when I want them.

I'm in college now (and wish I had waited just a semester or year longer), so my reading of my own books and stuff has come to a halt, since I'm doing a lot of reading and work for college.

I also know what you mean about buying too much. I really love shopping when I have the money to do so. When I don't, I feel frustrated, because I hate not being able to get what I want when I want it. Still, it's something we have to learn to control. I have gotten much better than I used to be, but the temptation's still there.

I hope you can get things under control. Are you on meds for the ADHD? That might help. I'm on the generic for Adderall, but not seeing any improvement. The pdoc increased it, but I have a bit of a phobia regarding meds and side effects, so when I take them the first time, I want to make sure my boyfriend is home, just in case something bad happens and I can't drive to the hospital or call an ambulance myself, not to mention worrying what if they can't help me. Anyway, I haven't taken the increased dosage and explained to my pdoc that I still want to try it, but I need to wait probably until college lets out in December.

Best of luck to you.

I hoard quite a lot of stuff, My husband is the opposite he will try and throw things out which kind of annoys me.

My shed is full of stuff that I hoard It does need clearing out but I want most of the stuff

I have no advice to offer but if its any consolation im in the same boat - i have BPD so a lot of the buying impulsivity derives from that but also, for me personally, i think as i grew up without a lot of love i became over dependent on objects to make me feel better. Yes its despicable and i hate myself for it. OP: im not saying thats the case for you but know at least that you're not alone (if ok).

The items that I hoard are usually on sale. And, I do use a lot of them. I doubt that I have OCD. I think that I am too safety oriented. And, too cheap? I grew up rather poor. So, I buy a lot of basics. Sometimes, I but things to cheer me up. But, wouldn't my funds be better spent experiencing life rather than coming home to an apartment that appears to be prepared for armageddon? I have to learn to say NO to bargains and YES to living. I'm not sure of the terms to describe / diagnose this issue.

I have had this problem of saving things because I might need it someday! Since I lost my house and everything is in storage, I have realized I will never need most of the stuff! I am trying real hard to simplify my life inside and out so getting rid of things is hard but there is a feeling of freedom that I feel. Besides I just lost a friend that was a hoarder and seeing her place and the stuff that she didn't get to take with her has given me a new perspective on things. I don't what my children to have to deal with all my stuff if something happens to me and they have already told me they don't want most of my junk so I am down sizing the best I can. We can't save everything! I also have been told less is more!

I don't think you're overprotective, I think it's a sign you feel "underprotected". As someone who. Has. Been. There. So trust me. Food....clothing...paper. You seek comfort.

It's a tough thing to lick. Of course, I don't think hoarding can be "licked", I think it can be "understood" and "managed". But doing the talk-talk won't do it...it's just delaying the inevitable. Again, trust me. The book part? If you're like me, the books are simply a distraction so you don't have to think about the other stuff. If I buy a book, that's my excuse to not do the dirty work of throwing away the other stuff. I mean, can hardly read and throw out trash at the same time, eh? It took me throwing out a crapload of books to realize that, by the way.

Hoarding has a lot of OCD to it...anxiety, all the fun stuff. Are you on OCD meds at all?? Just wondering.

Go for a walk, instead of buying stuff. Throw out 3 items a day or give them away (without replacing). It's the habit thing, you know. Time to try some new habits.

Good luck, what you're going through is so terribly misunderstood. Don't take it all on at once though, just a tiny little bit at a time. Good luck!

I have not been diagnosed or treated for OCD. I don't have typical OCD problems like compulsive hand washing and the like. I do know that I do not have very good social abilities. So, I avoid social contact as much as possible. People don't seem to like me much either, so I turn to security things. I buy these things because they make me feel prepared. Like, I am taking care of myself for buying them. I don't expect my social ineptness to change anytime soon. I don't have the looks that people want around them. And, with a background that includes a lack of nuturing as a child, I don't really know how to navigate socially or romantically. I turn a lot of people off when I don't respond (frankly, I don't recognize or clearly do not want) their sexual advancements. The few that I get, that is. Maybe the things that I buy are just a safety wall between me and the rest of the world.

I am so glad this topic was brought up. My boyfriend is a hoarder, or pack rat. He has 4 times as many shoes as me, possibly 100 diff shirts (and counting), collects old toys, old stuff period....there's no set thing he buys. He did grew up getting basically whatever he wanted (though he's quite generous), so it doesn't derive from a poverty-place. His mother does the same thing though I don't see any OCD tendencies; I'm not sure what her reason is (prob just "a good deal"). He does have OCD--undiagnosed but we both know it--and I know much of the reason he collects/almost refuses to throw out, is because he's miserable. He's in a job he hates, and it's the total opposite of who he is. So he distracts himself with buying stuff (which I think a lot of "regular" ppl also do), albeit he has a knack for frugality. But there's stuff that's taken up space in the house since I moved in, and little room for what little bit I have.

You can have OCD without the typical "rituals." I have it, for example, and I don't do rituals--mine are more obsessive thoughts w/the compulsion to do them. I would agree the hoarding could be an anxiety resulting from social anxiety....that maybe somehow you're unconsciously trying to deal with that anxiety by buying all the stuff and "surrounding" yourself with them?

From what little i've seen in documentaries, etc., and watching my boyfriend, I definitely feel like compulsive collecting--regardless of price or necessity--is a way to cope with and at same time mask an anxiety or depression... just my opinion.

As much crap as we have, it is no where to the point that animal feces or urine is rampant or not being able to get to different pathways/doors (though we have piles and piles of stuff around). My bf is highly sanitary, so he wouldn't tolerate that anyway.

Shopping is also a form of entertainment, especially when you do not enjoy the company of others very much. Technically, it's all stuff that I will use - there is just too much of it. I am not a collector of many things and I live within my means and have incurred no debt. Part of it may be over ambition too. I often forget what I have.

Recently, I have successfully put limitations on buying things. I will no longer buy t-shirts or polo shirts as I have enough. The dress shirts I buy are usually styles or colors that look good on me - not all do - that are in seasonal colors that will be discontinued so it's get them while you can. Still, does all this stuff buy me happiness? No. I am still very depressed and unhappy. Maybe that's the true tragedy of it. Since my interpersonal skills are lacking and the enjoyment is not there, I resort to buying as entertainment. But, having this stuff is taking up too much space. I am going to try to put a lid on it. I will try to focus instead on taking classes and learning. Maybe I will go back to college. I have to stop buying books though! I have enough! There is no point in buying more self-help books when they just add to the clutter!

There was a really interesting interview on Madness Radio a few years ago about hoarding: http://www.madnessradio.net/madness-...-w-randy-frost I listened to it again last night. A lot of the issues raised in this thread are discussed. For example, the OCD thing - apparently some varieties of hoarding seem to be related to OCD, others aren't.

Randy Frost is a psychology prof who got interested in hoarding when a student asked a question about it, and he realized he didn't know the answer. He looked into it and found that hoarding wasn't really understood well, so he and his students started researching it.

He says that many people recognize hoarding behaviors in themselves, but unless it's interfering with your life or creating a health or safety hazard it's not really officially hoarding. He says hoarders save things for same reasons non-hoarders do: sentimental reasons, the item is useful, or they just like the item.

Also some people look like they're hoarders, but actually they have other issues like depression. They aren't really "saving things" so much as they don't have the energy to clear things out.

When I discovered I was being forced to go to college at a "family" school that was out of state and definitely not my choice, shopping for clothes, shoes (with my family credit card) became of activity of choice. my mother put me on a plane (it felt like good riddence) and shopping became a problem for me. I felt abandoned emotionally so I replaced the empty feelings with "things". I honestly did not understand when my father was upset that I purchased a really cute pair of shoes ($400) from N without batting an eye....they were "cute". It was perfectly ok when I was home though and my parents gave me blank checks and credit cards to maintain a lfestyle. I didnt understand the sudden changes. With no explanation. I was just cut off.

Many years later, after living a certain lifestyle on par with the rest of the family and living the way I knew, I was suddenly totally cut off with no explanation. I didnt know the first thing about budgeting or how to spend money properly and to plan ahead. I continued with my "regular" lifestyle however with no backup or support.

Trouble x2.

I never was in a situation where I had to consider a mani/pedi vs the utility bill. Or an hour at the spa vs. Gas in the car. Or worst of all, taking my clothes to the drycleaner vs food in the pantry and nourishment. I was just living my life as I'd known it. VERY rude awakening. And when I asked my father for money for food and help he said no. Period. With no explanation. With no help, guidance or explanation I was totally lost.

I literally went almost a week with nothing to eat

i finally sucked up my pride and had to go for a neighbor for help. She was a total hoarder and was happy to share cans of veggies and boxes of foodstuff that she bought on sale and had extras of everything. Even papergoods. It was humiliating for me. I found out later that she grew up extremely poor so she saved tons and tons of things. To the point of clutter. I, on the other hand, do not "save" or "collect" at all.

Since my parents cruelty, clearly, what once were necessities for me became luxuries. Including food. I developed a problem as a result, as well, in that if I get low in food, I get scared. I panic actually. I am terrified of being hungry again.

I remember being hungry and scared very clearly. So now when I go to the market, if cereal or canned items are on sale (or whatever semi healthy item) I buy extra. I never want to be hungry or go through that again. It is hard though because I dont eat a lot and if i dont eat fresh items i time they spoil quickly. Ergo, wasting food and money. Which is not ok for me st all.

In addition, since being banished financially, I do my own mani/pedi, havent been to the spa in ages, go to a very inexpensive salon and purchase clothes at a discount retailer. I have no social life to speak of. I do not know how to cook in my kitchen and havent been out to eat at a good delicious restaurant with "real" food in eons.
U
These drastic changes have been devastating and affect my self esteem. It has been a miserable hell and it affects my sense of safety.
The biggest fear I have though is not having food again so the first thing I do when I get my paycheck is to go to the market.

My family is still living the same lifestyle, though. Including my sister and mother who do not work and never have to worry abouta thing.

It is so confusing. And miserable. The worst part is that my mother and sister are super competitive and so they enjoy seeing me struggling. Which makes things even worse.

My family was quite poor. And, mom came from a family raised during the Depression. IF there was a good sale, they always stocked up. I guess that's my issue. I just overbuy. I really don't meet the definition of a hoarder. I do have a depression problem that impedes cleaning up. I have started donating books I will not use. I have a shopping bay of CDs ready to go as well as boxes of old LPs. Time to get rid of them. Thanks everyone for helping me figure this out.

Going hungry is the scariest by far for me. Next comes gas for the car so I can actually get to and from work. I have it down to a science in terms of my commute. Anything that goes beyond that, I dont have enough. I do a 70 mile round trip commute, 5 days a week. Gas is almost $5 gallon here now, too. On a few occasions, I have had to stay home "sick" because I wont have enough for the week. Sad.

"And, with a background that includes a lack of nuturing as a child, I don't really know how to navigate socially or romantically."

Wow, unhapppy guy, you really got my attention there, becasue it sounds like something I could have written, and that's making me wonder if people with avoidance personality tend to clutter and hoard. Because that's me to a T. Look it up and maybe you will find it helpful. Avoidance personality is something that happens to people who were neglected as babies and very young children.

OCD. Hmm. I'm not a professional here, and haven't actually had a good ta;lk with any therapist about OCD, but I suspect you could be very well mistaken in what you think OCD is. OCD, I would think, would be about repeating any unhealthy behavior that you know you want to stop, but can't. I don't know that Ive been diagnosed with it, but I'm pretty sure I have it. And I don't wash my hands, either. I just get going on something and can't stop easily...wears my brains out.

To the nitty gritty: How do you feel when you clean away the clutter? Surely you have attempted it before....just wondering?

And hey, stop beating yourself up about your looks. Most of the world is ugly. (they are!). Attractiveness and looks aren't the same thing, either.

By hoarding, you are avoiding, big time. Literally putting up a second skin...a second skin of "stuff". I used to live in a homeless shelter and my room was nothing but that "second skin". And yes, it soothed me. Otherwise it would have looked like a, well, like a room in a homeless shelter, lol! That stuff gave me security, wierd to say. It wasn't healthy though, and it kept me from moving on. finally the crap hit the fan and something happened that made me get rid of about 1/2 my stuff...and oh, how freeing!! I moved out soon after. Who'd have thought??

So what is the next step that clearing the clutter away would lead you to? Having a lady friend? Why would it have to be a romantic friend? You could have just somebody over for coffee, like everybody else does. Be able to open the door without cringing...sound familiar? I live that way for YEARS and know how that feels.

You can do this. Bit by bit. Get help if you need to. Just clean off a tiny little spot today. One little spot. I have been there...you can do this!!

Unhappyguy, It doesn't sound like you are truly into "hoarding." Sounds more like you believe in keeping your "inventory" stocked . . . and you've gotten into over-stocking. I believe that you are using that as a substitute for other activities that you aren't doing enough of. It sounds like you have good insight into yourself.

I shouldn't offer advice that I ignore, myself, but it sounds like you need to find some other involvement. Ideally, it would have to do with sharing an interest that you have with others who have that interest. Taking that plunge can be awful hard to do . . . as I am holding back from it, myself.

Thanks for everyone's comments. I do have symptoms of antisocial, avoidant and borderline personality disorders. I have been trying to make slow progress cleaning out clutter in my apartment. It's not as hard as my mind makes it out to be. I have to keep my focus on it. Maybe I am ADHD too. I really wish I could manage time better too.

I have OCD, I'm a hoarder, I keep things and I'm a prepper. I see all those things as separate, OCD and hoarding is a bit related, hoarding and keeping things are a bit related, and keeping things are a little related. But OCD and prepping are not related. I know it sounds strange, but you'd understand if you felt what I feel about those things.

I have classic OCD with intrusive thoughts and repeating behavior for example.

I connect emotionally to things, so if something breaks, I have a hard time throwing it out. I don't live with tons of things like the worst hoarders, you wouldn't notice so much. But it hurts me emotionally to throw things out that I attached to. I broke the handle of my cow mug. The mug is now in a top cabinet, sigh. I couldn't toss it yet.

Also I keep "good to have" items. Many actually come to use when either I need it or a friend asks "do you have a...?" I don't want to throw out things that can come to good use. Even those things I have no emotional attachment to I keep. Want a 1 gig harddrive? Didn't think so. A mangled network cable? Maybe it can be good for something... A surplus of key chains? A flashlight that doesn't work? Stumps of candle? I think my issue is that I can't really imagine what will be useful or not so I err on the "safe" side....

Also I do try to hoard some food, even if an event with no money made me have to go through all my food preps. I try to keep about three to six months worth of food in beans, canned food, pasta and so on. I also keep things like candles, flashlights, battery radio, a small water storage and the likes.

While OCD is a type of anxiety coupled with endless routes in my head, hoarding for me is a thing of attachment. Keeping things is a feeling of how things shouldn't go to waste, and consumption shouldn't be a primary thing. Prepping is for me emotionless. It's a thing of logic. I don't fear hard times, I just want to make them easier on me.

I don't buy things for comfort, I don't buy much at all. What I buy I plan to use. If I buy something that I regret I got (even cheap), it gives me a really bad feeling so I avoid it to the cost of missing out on good opportunities to buy good things sometimes. So the spending thing I don't have.

I had a problem hoarding dvd's. I have well over one hundred dvd's. When I moved in with my mom she had almost one hundred dvd's. The solution to my problem was to throw all the cases away, and put them in a folder book with sleeves for the dvd's. It saves a lot of space, and makes it easier to manage.

Collecting loose change is a good thing. I saved up $150.00 in just one year.
I gave it to my daughter when she came to visit me.My suggestion for the plastic bags is, to take them somewhere they can be recycled