[toomuchthinking]

When your life resembles a tornado, spinning out of control.... Only getting worse. You can recognize it and want changes but when every aspect needs recontructing, where do you start? Circles are suppose to be good, but what happens with no starting point?

Just thinking out loud!!

When this happens to me I pick ONE thing to work on for instance I have DID.

DID affects every area of a persons life be it the waking hours as well as those at night when the person is asleep. If fact one of the problems a person with DID has is that they don't nessesarily need sleep every 12 - 15 hours like a normal person. when the person slips into their mental safe places mentally they get the rest they need so they don't notice that their physical boy has been go go go. and physically when the person is off floating in their mental safe place the body is kept funtioning based on what memorys got trigeered in to replaying. So for example if it isnt the memory of being abused and then going to sleep but the memory of cooking physically the body doesn't get any rest. But that doesn't stop the body from funtioning because the person who was mentally floating becomes mentally aware again of the present time. They find food has been cooked but mentally they are rested and so continue as if nothing happened. Physically the bodys organs, muscles and so on needs that sleep time. With the person mentally not noticing when its time to physically rest when they are aware and the body physically unable to take that rest time when the brain has the body reacting from the past memory content. the body physically crashes because the muscles and so on have reached their performance limit. a person can be walking across the street fully aware feeling great and the next thing they know the person is sitting in the middle of the street with a broken foot. literally.

DID has all kinds of other ways it affects a persons life in every aspect of the persons life. There are literally so many problems going on at once its hard to decide what to work on first. I sort of didn't have a choice what to work on first. I was the one sitting on the street with a broken foot. so that had to be taken care of first of all my problems.After exray and casting and medication was done the next step was get me on a regular sleeping schedule - easier said then done with a person with DID. I dont recognize when I am physically tired and mentally tired I go off to la la land. I had to teach myself NOT to go off to la la land for mental rest breaks, DID's don't have a sense of time. so in order to teach me what being physically tired meant I had to use an alarm clock that told me when it was time to get up and time to sleep. once I had myself on a sleep schedule of getting up at the same time and going to bed at the same time my therapist and I went the next step, and after that the next step.

We basically had to break things down into steps and add things at each step. When something was added the things added before it was habit.

Kind of like learning math. a person doesn't suddenly wake up on day andcharge full steam ahead into doing agerbra and geometry. They first learn what numbers and counting is, then when that is habit they learn adding, when that is habit they learn subracting, when that is habit they learn multiplying when that is habit they learn dividing and so on and so on.

Break one problem down into accomplishable steps and add on from there at the pace you can handle. since problems naturally intersect into other areas of a persons life you will not only see the problem being solves as being more manageable but the rest of your life will also become more managable.

[toomuchthinking]

Thank you, your input is much appreciated.

The only problem that I am having is which area would be the best starting point. I have problems in all areas; career, family, financial, health, relationships (which I wont even go near right now), self-esteem.
It is a domino effect, but I am not sure which domino would be most beneficial to start with.

Do you see a therapist? if so that therapist can help you find what area to start with.

[toomuchthinking]

Through the years, I have seen numerous therapist, but many of them (in my opinion) haven't a clue. Not to say that there aren't good ones out there.... I had a fabulous one once, but because the HMO I was under said, I had to have an addiction to continue seeing her, (which I contemplated inventing one, but knew that would really be fruitless) the sessions ended. I recently tried finding her, but cannot. My mother is also fantastic therapist (but of course that can't happen), but I know she helps numerous people end their addictions. The trouble I run into is I have read the same text books (psych minor) that they have, so many therapist that I have come across are just soliciting the "textbook" answers they have studied. I can analyse myself and I know what hinders my success in life, but I just can't seem to get there.... I know I fear success, although have been given great tools to succeed. I believe if I could concur that fear, my life would be much better. I fear success to the point that I will self-destruct before I can accomplish anything. The strangest thing is that I don't totally fail, just enough that I don't shine, as I probably should. I function but with minimal effort and minimal results. I have had this fear for a number of years and it has ruined relationships, jobs, finances... everything. Guess, I answered my own starting point, Huh? Of course with your (myself) help.....

[Lexicon78]

I dunno...I'm in the same situation myself...

[toomuchthinking]

Lexi, I am sure we aren't alone... Glad we have this kind of forum to juggle thoughts like these amongst each other.

Here in the USA there are lots of people who have therapy with HMO insurance. Im one of them. I have had no problem no matter what state I lived in with finding therapy options. The problem was me. I was looking for someone to fix me instead of people to help ME fix me.

Here in the USA therapists draw up individual therapy plans based on what each client needs. Yes some are textbook style - ALL my PTSD clients do this and that. But the bottom line is by isurance or not the client is in charge of their own healing and therapy. Therapists discuss only what the client brings into the conversations. Think about whats the first thing a therapist says. its "hi how are you?" not "hi ok today I want you to do this with me..."

Then based on what you tell the therapist to answer that question is what the therapist talks with you about.

If you don't like the textbook stuff then change how you enter your sessions.

My therapist will say "hi how are you?" and some days I dont answer that question. Sometimes I head right in with "Hi I brought something for you to see today." and pull out my journal, artwork or a project I am working on.

I usually sit down the night before my appointments and read my journals and so on and decide what I want to take into the next days therapy session.

A person enters therapy not just for the heck of it but because they see they have some problems to work out for themselves and they need a little guidance.

You want therapy and know you have lots of problems so start there sit down and write out what your problens are, what you have tried for solving those problems and brainstorm ways that you would like the therapist to help you with those problems.

Then you pick up the phone and call the HMO and ask them for a list of mental health professionals and agencies that they will cover and how many sessions they will cover. HMO's work in fiscal year time frames. the client has so many sessions each year. Then you take that list of professionals and pick up the phone and call, set up an appointment with someone.

then take that paper of your problems and possible solutions and how they can help you to your appointment. In the next 3-4 sessions you and the therapist develop goals around those problems and then its just a matter of you entering the sessions ready to work on those problems. because once a therapist knows what your problems and goals are they WILL and do set the sessions for working on those goals.

Therapists have many clients that work with HMO's so they are used to spacing the sessions out so the client has enough sessions to get them through the fiscal year and have a few left on the side in case the client needs emegency sessions. The insurance companies also send the therapists notices ahead of time to let them know when the person is running out of sessions for the fiscal year so the client and therapist can adjust their schedule or the therapist can apply for more time with the client.

My therapists have done it both ways adjusting my appointments and applying for more time. so that I have what I need to hold me from one fiscal year coverage to the next. I have had therapy non stop now for 5 and a half years. My present schedule is every other wekk. this way I have some on the side not only for emergencies but also if I want to attend the 13 week Depression management group that my therapy office has going.

if you don't like the way your sessions are run then change them. you wouldn't buy something in a store and keep it if you didn't like and use it right? therapy is the same way.

Hang in there.