[haplogroup]

Okay, you guys have got to help me.

I'm recovering from childhood abuse/anger and it's almost all out, and some lingering psychotic issues after drug abuse, but I have this OBSESSION with race, it comes and goes, and changes from LIKING interracial to being ABSOLUTELY ABHORRENT of it.

I have these almost paranoid delusions that someone is trying to "destroy" the "white race", that there is a conspiracy.

I will state a personal belief based on observation: the inferiority or superiority of races is IRRELEVANT, but in the psyche of an individual lies a kind of state of mind or what I call a "spiritual homeland", some kind of aesthetic touch in the personality which makes their ancestors relevant.

So for this reason, I consider myself "white" and I acknowledge as part of who I am.

I am no "racist", I would never under any circumstances except insanity hate another human being.

But I feel like this spiritual homeland, this common ground, is under threat by something evil.

But get this, I ALTERNATE between getting sexually excited by it and being disgusted by it, then turn to being disgusted by myself. It's ****ING ME UP.

What the ****.

I've never been in a relationship. Is this why? Am I sexually repressed and has it finally turned on me?

What can solve this?

Should I completely ignore the issue for a while?

I think it is stopping me from being sane.

Help. Ask any questions.

[Leed]

Personally, I think you need to talk to a therapist about this. I don't think we're qualified to advise you on this. I think there must be some underlying reason why you at times think it's disgusting and at other times you become sexually aroused by it.

There is NOTHING WRONG with inter-racial dating! You would be committing NO sin by dating a black, hispanic, asian, indian, or whatever other race there is. Nothing is wrong with it. We are ALL children of GOD. So what makes us different?? NOTHING. We are NOT different! We all BLEED RED. We don't bleed black, yellow, brown, etc. It's all RED.

So what is so disgusting? Have you ever been able to figure that out, or is it just a "feeling" that makes no sense?

Get some therapy for this my friend. I don't think you're going to find out here, but I might be wrong. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee