[InTheShadows]

In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut and the issues my fiance is facing as a teacher, I felt the need to post this to get feedback.

My fiance is a middle school teacher specializing in math. He teaches at a school for long term suspended children. The children have behavioral issues, family issues, and very little help. Not one of the kids is from a two parent home, most of them live with a single parent or family member.

The issues so far this school year:
The students bullied another student (using Spanish - a language non of the teachers speak) to the point the bullied student lashed out and banged one of the bullies heads against his desk. The teachers have a policy that you must speak English, but the kids don't pay attention to it. When questioned none of the kids will tell the teachers what has been said.

My fiance has been injured by the students twice, once causing bruised ribs, the second time causing an inch long cut less than an inch away from his eye. The problem is there are no consequences for these kids. There is also no help for these kids. There are no counselors available to these kids.

I feel that the lack of counseling available for these kids is a disservice. I'm not sure how these kids who have such serious issues that they've been suspended long term from a regular school are expected to concentrate and learn. It saddens me that these kids are probably acting out as a cry for help and instead of help they are being ignored.

One of the kids looked up my fiance on Facebook. He had his settings set at the most restrictive, but since Facebook is constantly changing the privacy policies in an attempt to circumvent our right to privacy, his student found him. The kid used information he found (names of friends and fiance - me) to intimidate my fiance.

Friday I had a dream that I was in therapy ad my fiance kept interrupting me to tell the therapist he was concerned about a student of his who had made threats against me. I thought that dream was odd, so I shared it with my fiance. His response was shocking. He said one of the students has made a threat to harm me. He never told me as not to upset me. My fiance did talk to his lead teacher (given he has no principal to go to) and the teacher advised him to make notes of all the threats and pay close attention to the kid.

That is why I need advice. I don't know what my legal rights are given the threats were leveled against me. I also would prefer for this kid to get help rather than more punishment.

[tigerlily84]

I really feel for you and your fiance.

I would agree that this kid needs help, but he also has to learn that you cannot just THREATEN people like that. It's just unacceptable behavior, no matter what his own situation is like. Don't get me wrong, I feel for him, as well as the other children at your fiance's school. But it's just not right. Just my opinion of course.

As far as your legal rights, I have no idea. Beyond contacting social services (because clearly he comes from a terrible background if he is threatening a teacher and you, someone that he doesn't know) I honestly couldn't tell you. And even if you two put him in contact with a therapist or social services, neither of you have control over his fate. I don't think that anyone wants to punish him, they just want to help him, just like you do.

I wish you and your fiance the best of luck. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

[whiteNight]

I agree that specifics should not be discussed. People who do not know how to take responsibility for their own actions will look for someone to blame and when emotion takes control, what a person says is not being processed in the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex is responsible for regulating decision making and control of purposeful behaviors.

As a teacher, I need to caution you to not discuss specific student cases on the internet, no matter how anonymous this seems.

I hear and understand your frustrations and fears. Making threats against individuals can and should be reported to authorities. Personally, I would not work under those circumstances. There should be a Spanish-speaking adult involved at all times; that alone would curb the language-based issues. There should be charges pressed for any physical assaults. If the district won't back you on this, get out. You can't fix this on your own, and if the district isn't willing to do what needs to be done, this is not a situation you should stay in for your own safety and well-being.

[InTheShadows]

I have never mentioned any specific names of kids (I don't even know their names) and I haven't disclosed my fiance's name or the name of the school he teaches at.

I realize that. It was just a caution.

[liveforfish]

First off, close the facebook page for both of your protection, it's not secure.

Does you fiance like his job? If not, move on. I have bused these kids around in the past. Some are reachable, others are too far gone.

It's too bad these schools aren't able to use military style discipline. It really does help them to have rules to follow with consequences.
Unfortunately, this country is too Liberal for that.

Hope it all works out.

[Maven]

Even if they can't do anything right now, notify the police that this is going on, and as previously said, document everything!