[AllieBaker]

Hi Everyone,
My husband has been going to our family doctor for counselling for a year now. He has been dealing with high anxiety. It hasn’t made any changes to his “doom and gloom” attitude. It’s affected my ability to communicate with him since he’s always on edge and responding with hostile answers. I have tried to convince him to go to a licensed psychotherapist for more effective counselling, but he isn’t willing to go. Needless to say, this has put a strain on the marriage. How can I convince him to seek proper help?

perhaps he's scared to go, or perhaps he's not ready to go

have you asked him why he's not willing to try it?

perhaps suggest going with him?

[Leed]

Why don't you call his doctor and have HIM tell your husband that's where he needs to go? Have his doctor set up the appointment for him -- he's more likely to go if his doctor does this for him. At least that's been my experience.

See if his doctor would be willing to do this. Can you call his doctor without him knowing it? Can you make the call in another room or something? I hope so. Or else go visit his doctor yourself, and talk with him about it.

He definitely needs counseling from the sounds of it. I wish you the very best. God bless and let us know what happens. Hugs, Lee

[nicoleb2]

Maybe offer to go with the first couple of times. My husband was hesitant to go, but I told him things had to change or we could not stay married. I can try to heal me, but he has to be willing to heal himself.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by AllieBaker

Hi Everyone,
My husband has been going to our family doctor for counselling for a year now. He has been dealing with high anxiety. It hasn’t made any changes to his “doom and gloom” attitude. It’s affected my ability to communicate with him since he’s always on edge and responding with hostile answers. I have tried to convince him to go to a licensed psychotherapist for more effective counselling, but he isn’t willing to go. Needless to say, this has put a strain on the marriage. How can I convince him to seek proper help?

Two things come to mind. Call your family doctor and tell him the situation at home for the last year. I doubt your husband has been sharing your perspective and since you are suffering, the doctor needs to know.

Then, get yourself into some sort of counseling; I'd start with marital counseling. Depending on how you think your husband will take it, tell him you are going (or not.) If you can talk to him, say "I am going for marriage counseling because I am no longer able to live like this; your problems have had an effect on me and our marriage that I need professional help dealing with." He'll either offer to go with you or not. Go either way. If you think he is too volatile to handle your announcement, go and ask the counselor how to tell him (or ask your family doctor).

It sounds like your husband is mismanaging your lives through his problems, which don't sound like [for lack of a better term] simple or uncomplicated anxiety to me (but I am no medical professional). After a year you and he should have seen some sort of progress or some sort of treatment plan or some sort of escalation of the help he is getting. I don't see any of that in your post. It's past time to get to the bottom of what the situation is so his stress doesn't continue to ruin your life.

[AllieBaker]

Thank you for your answers! The doctor wants to do the counselling or marriage counselling himself (I suspect because he makes more money that way). Again, my husband has shown no signs of improvement from the past year so this isn't helping the situation. He views this doctor as a longtime close "friend".

IceCreamKid, I agree that it probably is transferance of his anxieties/work/ financial issues in the form of how he speaks with me. He's always been a workaholic. You're right, there has been no progress or treatment plan in the past year.