Misophonia

So I've been gone for quite awhile. Since I've been away, I've learned to handle my depression better, I've gotten a girlfriend, I've almost accepted that I'm gay, and I've stood up against emotional abuse in my house. Really, I'm doing a lot better.

However, two things I just can't seem to get over are my anxiety and the sound of people masticating. I'm not saying "masticate" to be a prude; right now it would trigger me and I'm trying to be cool (as in "not smashing things"). The sound of belching, certain words and any noise made by eating drives me ****ing nuts.

As for the certain words that bug me, I'd really rather not say them, but for some reason I can tolerate them better at some times more than others. Weirdly enough, as much as they bug me, sometimes when I'm silently raging alone in my room I imitate every sound I hate and drive myself up into a frenzy over it. I have NO idea why but I really wish I could stop.

Whenever I hear those sounds, I react like it's nails on a chalk board. My entire body tenses up and sometimes I shake or get a headache really bad, and I have to drown it out with loud music. I also get very violent, awful thoughts, though I'm pretty sure I'd never actually act upon them beyond beating up my pillows. And after hearing it, my ears become extremely sensitive, since they tune in on the noise and block everything else. Even now that I'm away from it, the sound of me typing seems really loud.

It makes me physically sick feeling, and because of it I dread and hate ALL holidays that involve eating.

I don't know what to do other than blast David Bowie through my headphones, since that's got the most calming effect. Is there anything else I CAN do?

Tailored search of "misophonia" at PsychCentral and NeuroTalk

Oh, TheGammaGeek, if you find a cure or anything that really helps, PLEASE tell us!

Hello, TheGammaGeek. Have you talked to a professional about this?

Yes I talk to my therapist about it when I think of it, and I've brought it up a few times. She doesn't seem to think it's very important. DX