[meerkat angel]

i don't know where to start,my life has been turned upside down,by my daughter,who does not bother to come and see me and my husband,my second husband that is,she only lives around the corner from us,she just keeps coming up with excuses not to come round,she is so spiteful to me,and i am hurting so bad inside,i feel i do not exist in her life,and now to top it all my grandaughter of 18 years,has told lies to her mom,my daughter,she has been saying we have no food in the house,that i am not eating,that i am not allowed to go out the house,she is turning spiteful like her mom,and now she is not coming round to see us,as she has said she does not like the way ,my husband is treating me,they are all lies,my family have known my husband for 12 years,and they seem to be turning against him,i don't know whats going wrong,between them they have spoilt everything,they have made me so bad,at one stage i felt like taking my own life,and i stopped fpr a minute,and thought hey what am i thinking ,my husband needs me and loves me,i cannot do this to him,this is selfish,my husband is disabled,and should not be dragged down by my family,i am ashamed of them,how dare they!!!do this to us,we have only been married for just over a couple of years,life is too short,i am seriously considering cutting the ties with my family,i cannot and will not take anymore from them,it's time for me and my husband now,to live our life,how we want to,without family getting in the way,we have no support from them whatsoever

welcome.

i hope you enjoy the forum and get the support that you need here

[yellowted]

(((hugs)))
Children do not come with guarantees, just because you did your best for them growing up, does not guarantee they will respect you when they are fully grown. your daughter and granddaughter are both adults, as such they are no longer your responsibility, they are responsible for themselves now. your responsibility lies with yourself and your husband.
[i cannot and will not take anymore from them,it's time for me and my husband now,to live our life,how we want to,without family getting in the way,we have no support from them whatsoever]
have you tried telling them this, it could be the jolt they need to be civil to you both, or the opening for you to part company.
good luck x

[gma45]

It is never easy when family doesn't get along. But you are right you need to live your life with or with out them. I wish you the best. Just find happiness for yourself, that is what matters in the end.

[shezbut]

I am sorry that you are in such shock and pain that your family is not getting along. It is hard.

I would advise you to carefully consider you options. Try writing out a list of options, including the positives and negative effects of each option. Looking at your options from a logical perspective, rather than the intense emotional perspective, will help you make the decision that is right for you.

Speaking with experience, I have cut all family ties and it wasn't easy for me. While my emotions were intense, following through with the decision was difficult. After about 1 1/2 years of being alone, I was able to accept the many mistakes that my parents made in my life. I am not gung-ho back into the relationship ~ I am taking it slowly, and keeping conversations very light so far. Maybe someday I will be able to forgive them completely. But acceptance is a huge step in the right direction to helping to ease MY pain.

Just be careful to use you "wise mind" to make these important decisions, rather than your deeply hurt emotional mind. I wish you the best ~ take care! Oh, and to Psych Central