[BrokenNBeautiful]

I was just laughing my head off today.

I was getting ready to go somewhere with Bruce (my roommate) and went thru my purse.

It was a mess----OMG---I found broken pieces of candy canes all over the bottom of my purse not even in the wrapper! LMAO---laughing hard.

The difference between today and the past: I did not put myself down for being a slob. I laughed at myself. HARD.

I am laughing because I remember how my aunt (who raised me and verbally abused me) reacted every time I had messy hair, messy room, messy PURSE.

She told me once that my purse looked like a little garbage can---she goes, "Carol, I am not running around with a person carrying around a little trash can!"

And she would say it in public or in the car and that embarrassed me, too. She was not the only one embarrassed.

So, today, I was thinking, I am undergoing major self-reparenting processes--I was thinking, if the tables were turned now and I were raising a child, I would not be telling her in public what a mess she was. I would tell her in private, "Next time we go out, could you please clean your purse out? It looks gross and I don't like other people seeing it. It's embarrassing."

So, I am laughing at myself now and I am laughing with my poor aunt, who did not have any real parenting abilities other than putting me down. She had tried to teach me hygiene, but had done it in a negative way.

I celebrate another anniversary (see rebirthday entry) today of recovery from my mental illness and surviving unbelievable torture and coming thru.

if this year is better, I look forward to even BETTER years!

Carol

[pegasus]

Ah, I'm so glad you can laugh now, life is a learning journey, thank you for sharing.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks.

It really feels good to be acknowledged, esp by the community liason.

Carol

[avlady]

That's funny, but it is awful being embarrassed in public!!!!!

[yellowted]

laughing at your own demise is a great way of dealing with it, i laugh at mine loads! I was in my bed this morning, the TV remote control slid onto the floor, i tried to reach it, but due to my inability to balance i ended up head on the floor, bum in the air just as my carer arrived! it took half an hour to right me because we both couldn't stop laughing!!!!

When I first started this journey I was such a mess I never thought I'd be happy or able to smile or laugh ever again ... It took me about 7 years to get there, but I sure am glad I held on ...

[lizardlady]

Congratulations!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by yellowted

laughing at your own demise is a great way of dealing with it, i laugh at mine loads! I was in my bed this morning, the TV remote control slid onto the floor, i tried to reach it, but due to my inability to balance i ended up head on the floor, bum in the air just as my carer arrived! it took half an hour to right me because we both couldn't stop laughing!!!!

Did you flip over? lol

Oh, ouch.

lol

Carol

[yellowted]

nope I couldn't flip over because i was wedged between the bed and the wall!!
My carer kneeled on the bed and pulled my legs and i pushed off the floor till i was laid on my tummy across the bed and my carer fell off the bed!! it was like something out of a comedy sketch!
We often get into sticky situations, and end up laughing so hard we can hardly do anything!
If i didn't laugh at my situation i certainly would crack up.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by yellowted

nope i couldn't flip over because i was wedged between the bed and the wall!!
My carer kneeled on the bed and pulled my legs and i pushed off the floor till i was laid on my tummy across the bed and my carer fell off the bed!! It was like something out of a comedy sketch!
We often get into sticky situations, and end up laughing so hard we can hardly do anything!
If i didn't laugh at my situation i certainly would crack up.

omg---lmao

[belledisastre]

Don't worry, my bag is always a mess as well. Same with pretty much of everything of mine. My room, desk, etc. To the same extent of your messiness, it seems. You're most definitely not the only one.

[avlady]

Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by avlady

Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My post? This thread?

glad you're laughing! lol

Carol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by belledisastre

Don't worry, my bag is always a mess as well. Same with pretty much of everything of mine. My room, desk, etc. To the same extent of your messiness, it seems. You're most definitely not the only one.

thanks!

today, I had to catch myself feeling bad, again, because I was looking for my credit card at the store checkstand and I had to go thru a lot of little slips of paper---messy card bag---I was afraid the checker was staring at me, thinking, "she's such a slob and she takes forever to find her things!"---then I remembered this thread here and laughed it off.

At home, I cleaned it out.

Ahhh...much better.

Carol