[birdcrazy]

In the past I used to be very talkative and I talked very fast and on top of that very impulsive. I changed when I had to start taking antipsychotics, it seemed to slow that behavior down, though I felt less smart (I'm an high IQ person)

But now I'm on a new antipsychotic and now I'm acting like I did in the past again! My old personality is back but my talkativness and impulsiveness is driving people away from me.

I started seeing a CBT therapist and she wants me to control this behavior without medications, but I'm struggling and I sort of wish I was on one of my old medications or maybe even an ADHD med. But if I get treated I will probably even loose my normal speech pattern again and I won't be myself.

Second advice, I go nuts because there are two disorders that I am unsure about, ADHD and Asperger's. ADHD is an old dx of mine but now I know I have bipolar disorder, so did I really suffer from ADHD as a child? Should I find out? Is this the origin of some of my behaviors like impulsivness, talkativness and the reason I fidget sometimes?

Aspergers just drives me crazy, about half the doctors I asked said I don't have it but I have traits and half said I do have it but so mildly the other doctors are missing it. One doctor I have seen for a year in total told me he honestly doesn't know if I have this disorder, but at the same time the bipolar is severe and that is what I should be focusing on. But another doctor that seen a couple of my childhood psych reports feels that Asperger's was a major part of my childhood problems, but I improved a lot as an adult, so basically if I've improved should I even seek out if I have it or not.

[(JD)]

I think that to work on the CBT and learn how you can better control your thinking would be in your own best interest right now. If you try to figure things out about what diagnosis etc etc now, before you have retrained/trained yourself in how to view situations/events/thoughts, you might just keep going in circles, you know?

[birdcrazy]

Yeah the therapist gives me hard homework but i try to follow it

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