[birdcrazy]

Well I know for sure that I have some sort of bipolar with psychosis involvement. But for years I have been trying to figure out why I seem to have random and contradictory symptoms of Asperger's and ADHD.

For example, I have special interests but I can read non-verbal cues like a hawk. I am hyperactive but I can pay attention.

I have a new CBT therapist and at least for the obsessional interests she thinks that is being caused not by autism but is a side effect of high IQ. Now I know the numbers I had during my childhood testing were higher than normal, but this lady thinks it's higher than that now.

For example, as a child my obsessional behavior was encouraged by the school and my grandma, but when I learned it could be a sign of autism I tried to hide it as an adult. I even try to hide that I am supposidly smart, but everyone and seriously everyone ends up saying stuff to me like "wow, you're smart!" the therapist said that to me first session.

So what do I do? I did research and discovered official testing is expensive, I'm thinking about going through Mensa, they have cheaper testing. Online tests are inaccurate.

Right now my mental illness has reached a point of stability that I have not had in years. I need to figure out if I can go back to college someday.

But what do I tell people if the test says I'm very smart?

[unaluna]

What do you mean, what do you tell people? IME, nobody really cares. That's why PhDs are driving taxis. It's just, what can YOU do with your gifts and abilities, to build a life for yourself and to contibrute to society. Plus it can make life more interesting for oneself. I was very surprised when I got my mensa results, then I realized, if not me, then who??! Good luck!

[Hellion]

People point out how smart they think I am to, and sure it's a compliment I suppose...but it seems at the same time people don't take me as seriously when I am having issues there seems to be an assumption that intelligence somehow makes up for unpleasant symptoms or cancels it out or something.

Also I think a lot of it is just my thinking style, I don't really know that I am all that more intelligent then normal...I just am really good at analizing things and noticing all the details and flaws but it can actually be a bit of a hindrance at times if that makes any sense....like when I can't stop overanalizing my anxious or depressed thoughts or feelings.

I've heard that potentially higher intelligence can even make one more prone to mental illness because you can see how screwed up society is by analyzing the whole picture rather than say just your place in it. Not sure if that's exactly true though I suppose it kind of makes sense though.