[avoice]

The Difference in Being Selfish, Selfless and Self-Invested


How do you approach living life to the fullest?
The approach you choose is very important. There are a couple of ways that seem right at first, but they lead to dead-ends.
This is where Super-Charged Living stands out. It creates a great life that has staying power. It leads to a lasting joy and significance that is satisfying.
For me, Super-Charged Living is a journey. It is an adventure. One where I’m constantly fine-tuning my course to ensure I’m getting the absolute most from life.
The other day I heard some terms mentioned and contrasted that helped me clarify my mental picture of Super-Charged Living even further.
Let’s Look at Being Selfish, Selfless and Self-Invested
As you might have guessed, the three terms discussed were selfish, selfless and self-invested. They were being talked about in a totally different context than living life to the fullest, but it struck me that they have a lot of importance here as well.
Selfish and selfless characterize a couple of common approaches to living a full life. However, I would argue that these are not sustainable paths and in the end leave people wondering where they went wrong. Let me unpack the two a little so you can see what I mean.

The Selfish Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
The image that comes to my mind when I think about the selfish approach to living life to the fullest is the jet set lifestyle. This is the “its all about me” approach. People living this way journey through life seeking pleasure. They have a great time partying and living it up.
They spontaneously chase after whatever makes them feel good. They believe the best life is living in the here and now. They ask, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can enjoy today?” They live for the moment with very little concern or worry for the future.
At first, this can seem like an appealing way to live. It is carefree, adventurous and fun. It is an escape from the day-to-day hassles we all deal with. However, it also has its costs. Throwing responsibility and the ties that bind to the wind may seem freeing at first, but it can backfire.
The disadvantages of the selfish approach:
Self-centeredness ruins relationships which often leads to loneliness and regret later in life
Takes lots of money to sustain which generally leads to piles of debt and financial issues
Fast living takes its toll on the body which leaves one with chronic health issues
Left with nothing to show for years of living and end up realizing it was chasing after the wind
Generally, these people blame others for bad outcomes in their life. When people try to speak correction or guidance into their lives, they dismiss the wise as sticks in the mud.
All in all, a selfish approach to living life to the fullest may seem fun for awhile, but it will likely lead to a life of loneliness, regret and boring “glory day” stories.
The Selfless Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
At the other end of the spectrum is the selfless approach. This avenue is probably less common, but still pursued by some. In it, people put everyone else’s needs above theirs. They are the consummate servants.
The selfless ones are generally pursuing significance. They feel the best way to have a life of meaning and purpose is to do all that you can for others. They throw themselves into the cause of their choice with passion. You really want these people on your side because they are absolutely tireless.
You often find these people hanging around churches, charities and other humanitarian efforts. They give until it hurts literally. They can never say no and over time this begins to take its toll.
The disadvantages of the selfless approach:
Selflessness leads to burnout and disillusionment
Often ruins relationships because the individual is never available or invested
Gives away all their money helping their cause and usually winds up broke and in debt
Winds up with health issues because they never take time to care for themselves
Ultimately, these people often wind up blaming the organizations they serve for using them up and burning them out. They leave with a bad taste in their mouths running away to sulk and put salve on their wounds.
Did you notice that both the selfish and selfless approaches to living life to the fullest have basically the same disadvantages?
They are different paths to the same empty, lonely, powerless and joyless place.
The Self-Invested Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
This leads us to the self-invested approach to living life to the fullest. This is where Super-Charged Living excels because it employs a long-term perspective. I am convinced it is the best approach for regular people with real lives.
Investing is the act of committing something (time, money, energy, effort) toward an objective with the expectation of a profit or worthwhile result. Self-investing then is putting in adequate time and effort to better one’s self to the point where you can expect a better life as a result.
The self-invested person realizes that all facets of life are interconnected. You can’t live life to the fullest while failing at relationships or finances or finding purpose or healthy living. If you do, then you are living below what is possible.
You learn to say no to some things in order to say yes to even better things. In other words, the self-invested person sets boundaries. For example, they know that relationships are important and that you can’t really give to others effectively when your cup is empty.
The ADVANTAGES of self-invested living are:
It is sustainable over an entire lifetime
It nurtures and encourages deep, meaningful relationships
It builds a person up instead of tearing them down
It is fun, rewarding and exciting without being irresponsible
Super-Charged Living is self-invested living. It is taking care of yourself and what you have so you can maximize your effectiveness for others. It is the best life possible!
Choose to Be Self-Invested for a Great Life
There are truly big differences between being selfish, selfless and self-invested. Which will you choose? If you are interested in living life to the absolute fullest, then please stick around and learn more about Super-Charged Living.
How have your experienced selfish, selfless and self-invested living? Leave me a comment and let me know.
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[H3rmit]

I have always soldiered on in the third life you describe above. It is never enough. There is no place for me in this world.

[avlady]

I guess i've tried all 3 so far and do find myself now in self- invested.I really don't see any other way to be according to this post. Self invested is the only way a person can become a true person i my opinion. I have travelled the hard and the easy way already and am convinced that there is really no other choice if you want to live a fulfilled life.

[Trippin2.0]

I have naturally always been selfless, and as your post states, it lead to nowhere pretty....

I slowly learned to say "no" and was determined to start living selfishly... It is however completely against my nature, so I have been finding a middle ground.

Wow unbeknownst to me, I have actually been carving out my path to self-invested living

Thank you for the enlightening post avoice

[TheDragon]

What's the source for this?

[avoice]

no source just something to think about. No need to explain the thread says it all.

I've always been self invested. Most people are. Though I seem to be selfless because most decisions involved occur in that way.

If I could live in the moment then I sure as hell would but the moment sucks. You have to be lucky to be able to live in the moment even when the end result of that is the described moment.

[Peaceful Soul]

Hi All: Just had to reply to this post as it really struck a chord with where I am at and where I wish to go with the rest of my life. It seems most of us have tried the 3 approaches to life that are mentioned here, selfish, selfless and self invested. They might actually be stages of emotional development, a course which we take to uncover our true being. Some folks get stuck on one phase, like selfless, acting the part of a martyr. Others get to the point where they are the center of the universe and we are supposed to revolve around them. The self invested no doubt seems to be the healthy path to a fruitful life, that and not taking ourselves too serious. There is much to learn on the road of life, some experiences we would rather not have to go through....but they have a purpose, to tell us that this is NOT where we wish to be. Peace, PS

[Pikku Myy]

I think I match selfless... however trying to find peace ????

[2_b_free]

I titer between selfless and self-invested most of the time with the occasional selfish thrown in for good measure. I can even be combinations of at the same time, it really depends on the situation.

Yes there is fulfillment, regret, pride, shame, contentment...and a whole lot of life.

[tew1063]

Thank you, for sharing this information. It's very true. I used to lead the selfless life, always putting others before myself. I would burnout, cry, and get up and do the same thing again.
At some point, I realized this wasn't working and learned to take care of Me first. My life became a Self Invested life, and oh what a difference it has made. I've found that part of this lesson was learning to say "no" to people when I simply had no time or energy for what they asked. And I learned to say "Yes" to myself, and meeting my own needs so I didn't burnout on life.

When I lived the selfless life style, I was always on the go, always tired. My days never seemed to end and I finally broke. It was during this time of healing that I learned I am bipolar, type 2, the depressive side of bipolar. It's difficult for me to turn people away when they need me. But I know I have to take care of myself or I'm no good to anyone else.

I really like this post. Thank you for sharing.

Originally Posted by avoice

The Difference in Being Selfish, Selfless and Self-Invested


How do you approach living life to the fullest?
The approach you choose is very important. There are a couple of ways that seem right at first, but they lead to dead-ends.
This is where Super-Charged Living stands out. It creates a great life that has staying power. It leads to a lasting joy and significance that is satisfying.
For me, Super-Charged Living is a journey. It is an adventure. One where I’m constantly fine-tuning my course to ensure I’m getting the absolute most from life.
The other day I heard some terms mentioned and contrasted that helped me clarify my mental picture of Super-Charged Living even further.
Let’s Look at Being Selfish, Selfless and Self-Invested
As you might have guessed, the three terms discussed were selfish, selfless and self-invested. They were being talked about in a totally different context than living life to the fullest, but it struck me that they have a lot of importance here as well.
Selfish and selfless characterize a couple of common approaches to living a full life. However, I would argue that these are not sustainable paths and in the end leave people wondering where they went wrong. Let me unpack the two a little so you can see what I mean.

The Selfish Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
The image that comes to my mind when I think about the selfish approach to living life to the fullest is the jet set lifestyle. This is the “its all about me” approach. People living this way journey through life seeking pleasure. They have a great time partying and living it up.
They spontaneously chase after whatever makes them feel good. They believe the best life is living in the here and now. They ask, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can enjoy today?” They live for the moment with very little concern or worry for the future.
At first, this can seem like an appealing way to live. It is carefree, adventurous and fun. It is an escape from the day-to-day hassles we all deal with. However, it also has its costs. Throwing responsibility and the ties that bind to the wind may seem freeing at first, but it can backfire.
The disadvantages of the selfish approach:
Self-centeredness ruins relationships which often leads to loneliness and regret later in life
Takes lots of money to sustain which generally leads to piles of debt and financial issues
Fast living takes its toll on the body which leaves one with chronic health issues
Left with nothing to show for years of living and end up realizing it was chasing after the wind
Generally, these people blame others for bad outcomes in their life. When people try to speak correction or guidance into their lives, they dismiss the wise as sticks in the mud.
All in all, a selfish approach to living life to the fullest may seem fun for awhile, but it will likely lead to a life of loneliness, regret and boring “glory day” stories.
The Selfless Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
At the other end of the spectrum is the selfless approach. This avenue is probably less common, but still pursued by some. In it, people put everyone else’s needs above theirs. They are the consummate servants.
The selfless ones are generally pursuing significance. They feel the best way to have a life of meaning and purpose is to do all that you can for others. They throw themselves into the cause of their choice with passion. You really want these people on your side because they are absolutely tireless.
You often find these people hanging around churches, charities and other humanitarian efforts. They give until it hurts literally. They can never say no and over time this begins to take its toll.
The disadvantages of the selfless approach:
Selflessness leads to burnout and disillusionment
Often ruins relationships because the individual is never available or invested
Gives away all their money helping their cause and usually winds up broke and in debt
Winds up with health issues because they never take time to care for themselves
Ultimately, these people often wind up blaming the organizations they serve for using them up and burning them out. They leave with a bad taste in their mouths running away to sulk and put salve on their wounds.
Did you notice that both the selfish and selfless approaches to living life to the fullest have basically the same disadvantages?
They are different paths to the same empty, lonely, powerless and joyless place.
The Self-Invested Approach to Living Life to the Fullest
This leads us to the self-invested approach to living life to the fullest. This is where Super-Charged Living excels because it employs a long-term perspective. I am convinced it is the best approach for regular people with real lives.
Investing is the act of committing something (time, money, energy, effort) toward an objective with the expectation of a profit or worthwhile result. Self-investing then is putting in adequate time and effort to better one’s self to the point where you can expect a better life as a result.
The self-invested person realizes that all facets of life are interconnected. You can’t live life to the fullest while failing at relationships or finances or finding purpose or healthy living. If you do, then you are living below what is possible.
You learn to say no to some things in order to say yes to even better things. In other words, the self-invested person sets boundaries. For example, they know that relationships are important and that you can’t really give to others effectively when your cup is empty.
The ADVANTAGES of self-invested living are:
It is sustainable over an entire lifetime
It nurtures and encourages deep, meaningful relationships
It builds a person up instead of tearing them down
It is fun, rewarding and exciting without being irresponsible
Super-Charged Living is self-invested living. It is taking care of yourself and what you have so you can maximize your effectiveness for others. It is the best life possible!
Choose to Be Self-Invested for a Great Life
There are truly big differences between being selfish, selfless and self-invested. Which will you choose? If you are interested in living life to the absolute fullest, then please stick around and learn more about Super-Charged Living.
How have your experienced selfish, selfless and self-invested living? Leave me a comment and let me know.
-