[InfiniteSadness]

I think i was born this way- miserable*, depressed, angry, anxious, etc.. Its like I'm cursed and doomed to repeat the same mistakes. sometimes i feel i should be in a hosp. forever. and i hate it when people say, your not doing enough with your life or think 'positive'. I'm not doing enough with my life because I'm mentally incapable of

seems that way with me too

all this " things will get better", " things will improve", what a load of crap.. i've been hearing it for years- and if it was going to happen, then something would have come of it- even if it's only small to begin with

[venusss]

You may hate me for this, but...

mostly people are capable of more then they believe they are. There's a lot you can do for yourself. For too many it's issue of learned and re-inforced helplessness.

It's possible to do things even while depressed. It's possible to be depressed and still appreciate life and all the things.

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

You may hate me for this, but...

mostly people are capable of more then they believe they are. There's a lot you can do for yourself. For too many it's issue of learned and re-inforced helplessness.

It's possible to do things even while depressed. It's possible to be depressed and still appreciate life and all the things.

Good points there and I agree with it to an extent. If someone thinks life will never get better it just may not get better. Some forms of MI do make it practically impossible to function at an worthwhile level. In all but the worst cases I think it's possible to take small steps and build on that. It does get very discouraging at times to have to constantly battle to have any sort of a meaningful life. And if depression is bad enough I think it can prevent you from appreciating life at all. And I'm not sure if this happens to others but when I'm really depressed there is no goodness and never was and never could be. The depression makes earlier times that you know were good seem bad. Or seem good for wrong reasons.

[InfiniteSadness]

I think for me a lot has to do with Fear, and not just depression, but its a double whammy, when u combine the two

[Kate King]

It's hard for me to remember what happy means, what life looks like. I feel trapped in this head and body forever.

Originally Posted by Kate King

It's hard for me to remember what happy means, what life looks like. I feel trapped in this head and body forever.

I too wonder what can make me happy, if anything possible. I've small goals but they last for a day and then I'm back to square one because from these small goals where I want to move I don't get there and feel more disappointed.

[allimsaying]

Not everyone can get better, Its wrong to generalize that everyone can, just like its incorrect to generalize that no one can. Asking someone who has never recovered if recovery is possible is like asking someone who's never looked up at the sky how to get to the moon.

Originally Posted by Kate King

It's hard for me to remember what happy means, what life looks like. I feel trapped in this head and body forever.

I don't remember either. I see people doing things together and hear them making plans for the weekend and don't recall how that was or what "fun" meant. It's like I am an alien creature...

[Kate King]

Originally Posted by tractionbeam0610

I don't remember either. I see people doing things together and hear them making plans for the weekend and don't recall how that was or what "fun" meant. It's like I am an alien creature...

I absolutely agree. It is hard to connect with people and have relationships because 1. you feel like crap all the time and 2. you feel old (at least I do) and you can't relate to their seemingly frivolous laughter and joy. and 3. I get irritated because they do not get it and do not try to get it and because I envy what they have

I can relate to this thread, just hope your bad isn't all that bad.

[NWgirl2013]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I think for me a lot has to do with Fear, and not just depression, but its a double whammy, when u combine the two

I just discovered that fear is a driving force in my own life. I am trying very hard to be less fearful. TINY Steps are all I can manage. But I am making them because I finally learned that I am in charge of me. If I feel like crap, I am actually the only one who can change that. A Huge mind shift for this girl, but I'm worth it, right?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((infinite)))))))
Sorry it's only hugs.. I'm not much good with words,
Keeping you in my thoughts

((((Infinite))))

bunches of hugs to you

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I think i was born this way- miserable*, depressed, angry, anxious, etc.. Its like I'm cursed and doomed to repeat the same mistakes. sometimes i feel i should be in a hosp. forever. and i hate it when people say, your not doing enough with your life or think 'positive'. I'm not doing enough with my life because I'm mentally incapable of

[justmemaybe]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I think i was born this way- miserable*, depressed, angry, anxious, etc.. Its like I'm cursed and doomed to repeat the same mistakes. sometimes i feel i should be in a hosp. forever. and i hate it when people say, your not doing enough with your life or think 'positive'. I'm not doing enough with my life because I'm mentally incapable of

I hope someday you know there is hope. someday you will feel better
My best wishes are with you ...
Life has its ups and downs. The downs are bad...know they hopefully will pass in time.

[gracez]

Hi Traction and others...I completely relate to this feeling of it won't get better. I really can't see that it will, as it hasn't in over 8 mos. I'm tired of "picking myself up by the bootstraps" and don't even try anymore. Small goals also don't work for me anymore, or the classic eat well, rest, exercise.

I also feel removed, like you said, an alien. I don't see experience anything as interesting or fun, so I don't do a whole lot because I can't imagine enjoying anything. I don't enjoy anything I used to.

How do we make it out of this cycle?

[InfiniteSadness]

hey, thanks for the replies. Just wanted to add- its worse when you feel like your maybe getting "better'" and then boom, your right back at square one.

[jewel2560]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I think i was born this way- miserable*, depressed, angry, anxious, etc.. Its like I'm cursed and doomed to repeat the same mistakes. sometimes i feel i should be in a hosp. forever. and i hate it when people say, your not doing enough with your life or think 'positive'. I'm not doing enough with my life because I'm mentally incapable of

I hate it when people who have no idea think they have the right to have an opinion on my life. Thinking positively makes things worse for me honestly. I try to be realistic, which usually means accepting that certain things will never change for me because I'm not like everyone else, I'm not mentally capable of the same things. I don't know if this will help, but realism is my sanctuary. Mistakes happen, mania/depression happen, but even if I can have a moment where I really laugh, watch a favorite movie, etc, those are what I live for now. Screw the big picture and the people who think we need to have one.

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

hey, thanks for the replies. Just wanted to add- its worse when you feel like your maybe getting "better'" and then boom, your right back at square one.

I haven't even felt like this...that would be interesting (in a crappy sort of way). But then they can't find a drug that even works for me w/out some insane side effects so I haven't had a freaking chance to dig myself out of my dark hole I seem to be stuck in.

And side note, I have a side of my family where everything is a white picket fence and I can't stand to be around them. I don't even know how I am related to people who could be on a happy, funny sitcom.