[Sarathia]

Hi guys. I've been having a bit odd period and even though its lasted for a long while now, it seems to be getting more hm, visible lately. I'd like to ask, maybe it's normal, but I just don't feel like asking my real-life friends as it seems kinda silly to me and I couldn't be nearly as honest with them. I guess I don't have real friends, do I? The talk-about-anything-and-everything kind...

But that aside, hehe. I've been having weird mood swings lately. And it's not between happy-sad, it's between, well 'personalities' sounds like a suitable word, but it's nothing like a split personality.

It's more like one moment I feel like a nerd girl (I want to play computer games, look at pictures on the internet and don't have a serious care in the world). I don't want to socialize with people in any way really, unless it's via IMing or talking on-line. I have a hard time to stop playing a game, achieving **** in whatever I play gives me SO much joy, failing ruins my mood etc.

Then next moment I can suddenly go into a, idk how to call it, sexy mode? Where I just don't recognize my normal self at all, I'd make a great hooker/femme fatale if that thing was permanent. I feel like having a drink, having a smoke. I feel social in a seductive way. I'm not in a relationship. I've never been in one actually cause I have some ridiculous barriers. In this mood, however, there are no barriers anymore. But I don't want relationships, I just want the flirt, the sex, whatever have you.

Then comes a moment where I go into a weird apathy mode, it feels odd, I'm very calm, I don't care about anything pretty much - I know if something significant happened it woud take me out of this haze, but when it doesn't, I kind of float. Broke a glass? Cool. Spilled a juice? Whatever. Lost keys to the house? Eh, I'll look. Or wait. Or something. Yawn. I like the wind then, I like to sit on some porch or a car-block thingie, I'd smoke if I had cigarettes (but I don't, since I'm not a smoker normally).

When I'm fixated on something I'm working on I'm getting into hyper-creativity. I think about the thing all the time, I pursue various imaginary scenarios, I plot, I note, I create. If I don't go there for a longer while I get seriously depressed. I like this side of me, but it's really obsessive.

Sometimes I feel social. Like really going out and having a drink, dancing. In this mood, I agree to go to a party day after tomorrow, but hey, day after tomorrow I'm in my sad-mode or a nerd-mode and there's no way I'm going anywhere.

Sad mode, yeah, sometimes I just lie on the floor and listen to some solemn music. Sometimes I don't listen to anything, just cry over everything and nothing. It's both awful and oddly enjoyable to me. I don't know why.

I guess there are more, but these are enough to paint a picture. I don't act on these moods, I don't know which ones I should act upon. I mean playing computer games, I do, it's easy, it has no consequences.

But some things that I want in this or that mood, what if the mood suddenly switched (and they do switch oh-so-suddenly - a song, time of day, something I heard, something I saw, something I remembered - anything can be a trigger) I might really get myself feeling like crap. For example following on the sexy mood and finding myself in a really awkward situation as it leaves me? What do?

Is this normal? Do you guys have it too? How do you deal with it? Why does it even happen? I'm kinda confusing myself to be honest so thanks for any reply!

[Secretum]

That is really interesting! I have no idea whether what you describe is "normal" or not, and if it's not, what disorder it might reflect. If you are concerned and these "moods" bring you a lot of pain, then I suggest you see a therapist. I think it would likely be beneficial for you to determine why you have these mood/personality switches. What purpose do they serve? Maybe once you've determined why they are there, you will be better able to cope with them. I can see how it could be very disruptive to not know who you are going to be tomorrow. Take care

[Sarathia]

Thank you for a reply. I'm concerned that the moment I 'break' and lose my inhibitions (that actually are preventing me from living very much as they cause to have huge intimacy issues) and I start following these moods, I think they may become pretty destructive. It's fine to be any of these 'versions' of me, but I fear how I would feel after action and the switch. It could be a huge string of regrets. Not like it isn't right now. I do regret that I don't do many things. But then I will likely regret that I do.

And while regretting NOT doing things is annoying and well, full of regret. It's not scary, terrifying or making me feel bad about myself. The other way around it could end like that. I don't know. Or maybe it would all end if I just let myself act on them. No idea. That's why I'd like to know if others are the same and if I should or not or what really.

[avlady]

I don't know how to say this but alot of my problems mimic the way I felt when I would get my menstrual cycle. I was put on hormones, one thing i would never do again, as they made me crazy. I ended up getting a thermal ablation coblation operation to stop my periods. This has helped me soo much, i get no more periods and the symptoms of my period aren't hardly there anymore.