[siempre nada]

I've given up on best friendship and love. I cannot relate to others well, and vice versa. its hard work that hasn't paid off. I make friends and can't keep them and never been in a romantic relationship. I'm tired of trying to be someone worth being close to and failing. I've accepted my loner lifestyle and will maybe one day love it.

[Leed]

I know it's hard to make friendships, especially in this crazy day and age. But don't give up.

What kind of problems are you having, as far as making friends and keeping them? Do you have trouble with trust? Do you perhaps get a little too "needy" like some of us do? Some of us almost cling to our friends so tightly that we actually push them away. Our friends decide they don't like having someone cling to them, so they leave! And it's painful to lose friends like that.

Why don't you try therapy? Talk to your doctor, and he can refer you to a good therapist. Your doctor will know the best therapist to send you to. I've been thru therapy and it was the best gift I could have given myself. I learned what issues I had, I learned how to deal with them,

I wish you the very best. Please take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[spondiferous]

I hear ya. I'm at a place of giving up too. It's such hard work sometimes to just be in the world. I don't get how so many people do it every day. It's been such a challenge for me, especially to just accomplish basic tasks in the last few years let alone manage relationships and commitments.
I hope you find some peace and some healing.

[siempre nada]

Thanks you two! Idk it just gets tiring looking for someone you connect with, when you're not even sure what that is..everyone seems to have a little cubby where they just fit with other people and I can't seem to find mine.

I get that. The person I am in love with is unavailable, so I haven't gone out with anyone for 3 years, and I have no plans to do so in the future because I love him too much and that hasn't faded a bit since 2010 (getting plenty of therapy for that). Guys are usually there for a bit and then hurt you in the end anyway, and it's like having your heart ripped out.
My friends have usually let me down in some way, and right now I have had to push most of them away (and my family, too) since they would never understand my depression/anxiety.
My bf has mental issues of his own, but has completely cut me off out of the blue (after 17 years) for no reason (well, nothing I did) and won't respond to phone, text, or email over the last month+. I was letting him work it out, but now I am angry since I asked and begged him for 5 minutes to please let me know what was going on, and I said that I missed him...and got nothing back.
It is so hard to trust people. Most weeks I might talk to maybe this one friend I have from where I used to work but otherwise just my Ts.
I gave up on spending time with people...it's not worth investing time and energy when they will only hurt you. I am sorry you are experiencing something similar. People can really, really suck.

[TheBrainChange]

I get the feeling, I get that it recurs again and again, and you might feel that you are "doomed" to live as a loner. However, you can't trust those thoughts.

Do you ever stop and consider, why? What does it mean to say "you should live as a loner"? Are you saying that nature designed you to live that way? That your biology predisposes you to this feeling, and therefore, to a loner lifestyle? A great deal of evidence from neuroscience which demonstrates the brains plasticity directly contradicts that perception. Fact is, you are NOT What you feel. In truth - and I know this might scare us - we really do have the final say - the veto power - with what comes in or goes out. We get to choose our thoughts, and the feelings we want to go with them.

Indeed, it's a difficult job trying to navigate this road. Were bumped all the time - "she responded to me funny", "he never calls me back", "nobody likes me", with experiences that suggest thoughts and feelings seemingly continue to occur. But I've discovered that it's really all about how we think about our own thoughts. Like a physicist observing his experiment, our sense of self and identity is INFLUENCED by our self observations. For example: If I see myself acting insecure, or find others not taking an interest in me; after observing this, there's a choice we can make: it can either be seen as a reflection of who we are, or, it can be a mere phantom of our current state of mind. The more you think this way, you learn to see things from a depersonalized perspective. This allows you to smoothly transition from one state of mind to another, without the interfering "i am not worthy" thoughts jutting in.

I know this might sound abstract, but it really does adumbrate the way problems arise in our minds, and how we can best get rid of them.

The brain is plastic. We each have the power to choose how we want to be, and how we want to see ourselves. The brain will follow suit after time. You just need to believe.

If you want some encouraging books to read, check out Jeffrey Schwarts: the mind and the brain (which elucidates the scientific basis of how the mind imposes change on the brain), and "You are not your brain: the 4 step solution". Also read "rewire your brain".

Good luck, and please, continue believing in yourself.