Support. Not Hurt. Move Forward.

Folks,

I know some of you have been deeply involved in ongoing personal differences with other members. Some members seem incapable of using their own good judgment and respond to threads or posts when all they have to offer is disagreement, hurtful words, or debate when support is being sought. To those members I say:

Take a break.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our online relationships, we lose sight of other things, of balance, and of perspective. We form cliques here, and those are fine, but not to the detriment of other members. Not to figure out new ways of "getting back" at other members for this comment or that.

The Psych Central community is growing. I'm spending a lot more time working on improving the site and I hope it will result in even more members finding their way here. Why? Because at the core, this is a wonderful, supportive community despite our differences and occasional disagreements.

So I will say it again --

If you find a lot of your posts are disagreeing with others or are otherwise not really supportive, maybe you should take a break.

I don't mean this in a mean way, I only mean that sometimes we get in a rut, or in a space, or feel we are entitled to certain things in life. When we are in this space, we're often not as helpful as we think we're being.

Each and every one of you has something to offer this community, and one another. Please remember that. We're all people here, looking for support, acceptance, and positive thoughts. Offer yours to someone you care about today.

DocJohn

PS - This is not a thread for complaints or arguing.

i agree with you DocJohn, i think you have created a truly wonderful website here that fuses so many different people together who can support eachother through times of trouble.

the comment you made "Why? Because at the core, this is a wonderful, supportive community despite our differences and occasional disagreements" made me nod my head agreeing with you.

ive always held the opinon that it is easier to walk away from agro and hassle rather than create/antagonise it, in reality i would walk away from a disagreement which i continue to do here.

once agin, i think you have a truly fantastic site here and i hold so much repsect for your DocJohn for giving me the lifeline and chance to help others.

thank you for PC and thank you, Simon, for your thoughtful post. xoxo pat

((((((((((((((((((( DocJohn ))))))))))))))))))

You're a compassionate man, with your heart in the right place!

I agree with your words!

Walk away... calm down... be supportive....

.......thanks doc john......great post.......this is a wonderful place.........

Thank you weighing in at this critical time of [_______] (insert your own adjective or noun in the blank as nobody seems to be in agreement as to what happens, is happening or has happened)

thank you for this site and for the many volunteer hours spent by yourself and your team of moderators and admins.

may your dedication to positive mental health continue as your community explodes exponentially in size.

Wonderfully stated. For me personally this is even a life lesson: learn to take a break. Learn to let go and move on.

Let me add this..............

It is naive to believe that in any group of 3 or more people, everyone is going to get along with everyone else all the time. In a group of 10 or more people, it's simply unheard of.

I believe some people are naive in their assumption that if certain members here were just reprimanded, talked to, or banned, it would solve all of the community's issues. That's simply not true. It doesn't work in the real world and it doesn't work in an open community like this.

There will always be people here in the community you may not get along with, or even like. If I get rid of Person A, eventually Person B will replace them and you will want me to get rid of Person B. And so on, and so on. And for every individual who doesn't like Person A, there's another member here who feels passionately that Person A has really helped them.

I and my fellow administrators and moderators are not here to play hall monitor. If you don't like a member here, we have a very useful feature called "Ignore," that allows you to do exactly what it says -- to ignore the member you don't like or don't get along with. It's that simple. Yes, it's not going to change your feeling that Person A is harmful to the community, but it also means you don't have to spend so much time thinking about that one person or set of people you don't care for.

There is nothing wrong with using Ignore -- that's what it's there for. I believe if more members made use of this feature, we would have less troubles.

Thanks,
DocJohn

I agree wholeheartedly, DocJohn!

You're a very warm and compassionate man!

Well said Dr John. I know I could use some support

for all you are doing here and love that ingore botton at times and the world has not caved in because I use it. Its a great tool thanks for having it here.

You aer so correct Doc.. When I first found this site many years ago, I was so wasted away with deperssion, I did not know which way was up, and the compassion I recived from this site was the only life saver I had.

This may come as a shock, but I have had many differnces with members here and still come not as often as I like, but others need more help now than I can give..

This is a wonderful place and trust me misgivings will always happen on a site as big as this..

Love to all

Thank you! (and he orders in pizza for us too!)

Hello..Hello...I am a new participant at this fantastic site..thank you so much for being here for us...I don't want you to think I am going to bother you...lol...but I did just want to get in touch this once...I had a very bad day today and I am hoping hanging here tonight will help me...Once again...thank you for your help!

Thought this should be bumped up!

Have a great day everyone