Over the past few months, my overall happiness and just outlook on everything has gone downhill. Situations in my life aren't bad though. Frankly, things are going pretty well. Grades and school are going well and my family isn't horrible. Everything is in my mind, I think. I'm a shy person by nature, but recently, unless I'm talking to one of my closest friends, it's a chore interacting with people--even my family. Actually, it's worse around my family. Especially my moher, and our relationship has gotten worse. She thinks I hate her, but all I hate is how she makes me feel like crap by saying "suck it up and stop being so sad" or "no one wants me be around a person who mopes around like you". All I want to do when I'm at home is lock myself in my room and be left alone. I guess it makes me look sad, and I guess it is true because I'm not happy anymore. I fake smiles and I even self harmed a couple times. I'm just sick of my mind and myself.
I don't know if I have depression or something else. Sometimes it feels like depression. Sometimes I don't want to do anything or be around anyone because I don't want to force them to be around me. I just don't know if I should go talk to someone because we don't have much money, but if I need to I will. Does anyone have any idea what this might be? The only reason I'm not calling it depression is because I don't have all the key symptoms of it. But, ideas would be very helpful

[gma45]

I think it would be a good idea for you to talk with someone if you can. Depression can take on many different faces. Not everyone is the same. We can not diagnosis as we are not doctors, so I think it would be wise to at least see your family doctor first and go from there. I wish you the best.

[Vossie42]

I second the advice to go talk to someone. It sounds like you could really benefit from that. Your mother is being very unhelpful indeed, and that contributes to your unhappiness. I don't blame you for wanting to just go to your room and close the door.

Perhaps you could ask your mother to clarify what she means when she says to snap out of it. How does one snap out of it? State the train of thoughts one should have to go from feeling unhappy and wanting to avoid people to being more sociable. My parents would tell me the same kind of things as your mother, but they didn't explain how to do it.

My experience is that you can't just tell people to do something and expect them to do it. That doesn't happen anywhere. You have to explain exactly what it is you want them to do and why.

As for low cost therapy, is there a university with an out-patient clinic nearby? The county health department could be a resource, too. How about your school guidance counselor? If you're religious, you could speak to your pastor if s/he is trained in dealing with psychological issues. I was never religious growing up, but I envied the Catholics for being able to go to confession. I thought it would be so nice to unload my emotional baggage to someone. Writing in a journal just didn't have the same effect as talking to someone.