[rolan86]

I don't even know where to start on this one. Yes I realize the title of this thread sounds weird, but it is just how I have been feeling. I have always identified as a musician, but now I am starting to want my space from that label. I've played the guitar for a while now, and to be honest, am pretty good. Like if I played right now for people, I would probably be pretty impressive. I'm not trying to brag believe me! I can't STAND being asked to play for people. People are always asking me to play for functions, or for their parties, like hey come play your guitar at my party! Well what people don't seem to be understanding is that the guitar really isn't a solo instrument, unless you are playing solo guitar which is incredibly difficult. I'm not much of a singer, so it's not like I sing songs or anything. I am just being called the "guitar man" or the "rock star". The fact that I have long hair as a guy just makes this generalization even more frustrating. Like I feel if people see me they just think he looks like he probably plays the guitar! I really don't know why I feel so ashamed of it. Why am I not proud to say I play the guitar? I feel it might be because I think it's so washed and widespread now. Like seriously, EVERYone plays the guitar these days. Even people don't even give it the attention it deserves, like popstars like lil' wanye, katy perry, etc. I just feel like these days it's just like yeah pick up a guitar! So I feel when I tell people I play guitar, they might just think, yeah. who doesn't. boooring... Which is frustrating because I play a lot of technical stuff like fingerstyle blues, ragtime and classical. I just feel like there is NOTHING interesting to someone about playing the guitar anymore. Like it doesn't make me unique. I know this is stupid to say, but it just how I've been feeling. Like I play in a bluegrass band, and I have always just been ashamed to say I'm the guitar player. I try so hard to distance myself from being seen as "that guitardude" that I am just trying to focus on my college science degree. Just wondering why I just can't be proud that I play the guitar...

[yellowfrog268]

I don't have the answer on how to get past this one but I can empathize to a certain degree. No, I don't play an instrument but I've found myself being very embarrassed by people making a big deal out of things that I'm good at. For example, I've had several pieces of writing published. Normally a person should be happy about this and enjoy having their loved ones spread the good news. Me, I just want to hide. I can't deal with accolades or praise. I don't know if there is a name for this or if it's part of a larger problem.
All I can say is maybe ask your friends and loved ones not to make such a big deal about it. Maybe you could let them know that being called out on this causes you embarrassment and may ultimately hurt your creative process.

[turnall]

I also get embarrassed when people see my creative works and comment on them- maybe not shame, but I lack that confidence that many people have in their creative abilities, and I wish I had that!

[Redsoft]

Either I can't identify it or the word is simply missing from the English vocabulary, but I understand the feeling you mean. I consider myself a writer, even though I haven't felt well enough to do so much in the last few years. Even if people hear this, they say, "Well, you're an artist! You should put your stress and troubles into your work!" Yeah, let me just get on that, it's so easy.

I have also run into the same things as you with people calling me the "author", "writer" or things like "English freak" (not in a bad way). Everyone tells me to write a book, like it should be easy because I like to write. Sure, I could write a book in a day, but it would be crap, at least to me. Even on birthday cards I get a hard time! "You're a writer - that's all you put?" for group cards and stuff. I get hassled about not speaking concisely, and am told that because I write, my thoughts should be lucid or something. Just because words are involved, that doesn't mean speaking relates to writing at all. In fact, I've found quite the opposite in people, most of the time.

Top it off, if I tell someone my college focus or that I like to write, I automatically get pinned as some kind of liberal journalist slacker or Emily Dickinson-like shady poet. My appearance also matches the stereotypical view, though obviously there isn't one as defined as a rocker like you describe.

I feel ya! Just stay true to yourself. That above all things. I just mouth off when someone gives me slack or says something stupid now, but I don't know if I should necessarily recommend that. XD It feels good though...

[possum220]

Hiya rolan,

Not sure why you feel shamed because you play the guitar. Truth is not many people can play the guitar as well as you. Do you get embarrased by being asked to play it all the time and being dragged out and having people focus on you?

Your talent is for you. If you dont want to be focused on just say no. I dont know if I have helped you or not. But I hope you can find some joy with having the capacity to bring the instrument to life. Not many people can do it well.

Originally Posted by rolan86

I don't even know where to start on this one. Yes I realize the title of this thread sounds weird, but it is just how I have been feeling. I have always identified as a musician, but now I am starting to want my space from that label. I've played the guitar for a while now, and to be honest, am pretty good. Like if I played right now for people, I would probably be pretty impressive. I'm not trying to brag believe me! I can't STAND being asked to play for people. People are always asking me to play for functions, or for their parties, like hey come play your guitar at my party! Well what people don't seem to be understanding is that the guitar really isn't a solo instrument, unless you are playing solo guitar which is incredibly difficult. I'm not much of a singer, so it's not like I sing songs or anything. I am just being called the "guitar man" or the "rock star". The fact that I have long hair as a guy just makes this generalization even more frustrating. Like I feel if people see me they just think he looks like he probably plays the guitar! I really don't know why I feel so ashamed of it. Why am I not proud to say I play the guitar? I feel it might be because I think it's so washed and widespread now. Like seriously, EVERYone plays the guitar these days. Even people don't even give it the attention it deserves, like popstars like lil' wanye, katy perry, etc. I just feel like these days it's just like yeah pick up a guitar! So I feel when I tell people I play guitar, they might just think, yeah. who doesn't. boooring... Which is frustrating because I play a lot of technical stuff like fingerstyle blues, ragtime and classical. I just feel like there is NOTHING interesting to someone about playing the guitar anymore. Like it doesn't make me unique. I know this is stupid to say, but it just how I've been feeling. Like I play in a bluegrass band, and I have always just been ashamed to say I'm the guitar player. I try so hard to distance myself from being seen as "that guitardude" that I am just trying to focus on my college science degree. Just wondering why I just can't be proud that I play the guitar...

I think you should give yourself credit for playing the guitar. I've always wanted to play the guitar and no one has ever taught me. Considering I can't afford the guitar and afford lessons, that makes it so hard. I've wanted to be the kind of guy who can play well. I hope I can develop my talent. Yet there's always a voice that says you can't do it. i'm just like you know what, screw this.

[lizardlady]

Rolan, maybe it's not about playing guitar. Maybe it's lack of self-esteem that makes you uncomfortable? Just specualting here...

[seeker1950]

I used to play the guitar and sing in coffeehouses back in the college days. I had many guitar friends also. I wasn't good at the guitar, but I admired those people who could play as well as you do! I was even proud that I knew them! Such talent! As I read your accomplishments on the guitar, I kept thinking, "WOW!" I am very impressed! I bet everyone who knows you is impressed as well. Maybe they don't express it well, and come across giving you the impression they think of you as the "guitar guy," but I assure you not everyone can play guitar, or even play marginally well. You are obviously talented! People do admire that, and asking you to bring your guitar along to functions is an indication of that. Think of the guy who brings his guitar to functions uninvited! ...now that would be bad!