[whatisthishere]

Hello,

I dont know if this fits here or if it a mental issue or not but this is a explaination about some recent things I have had to experience.

So, I go to CVS to buy some hair clippers and something to shave my face with because I just moved to this new area and left my shaving stuff behind. Now I am wearing a white tshirt, pants I cut with scissors to make them shorts and socks with slippers. I have a mustache and gotee etc. I walk in the store and immediately am asked if I need help finding something which I did because I have never been to that CVS before so I asked where I could find hair clippers. So then the guy looked supprised when I asked him that and appeared to become a little bit nervous about something and he went to say that he wasnt sure where the hair clippers would be. So I said okay and started looking around the store to find hair clippers and then I found them in the middle of the second isle right in front of where the guy was who asked me if i needed help finding something. I thought about it for a while and just came to the conclusion that maybe it was his first day or something, who knows? Well, I overheard him asking someone else if they needed help since I was close by etc. and the guy asked him where he could find hairclippers haha. I was thinking good luck buddy since I asked the guy the same thing and he didnt know. Well, the spoke diffrently to him with a little more respect and told him that the hair clippers are down isle 2 sir and something else down isle that sir and can i assist with anything else today sir? So, I wasnt happy about that but owell. So the guy is walkijg down the isle and i am reading the box of hairclippers in my hand. He starts looking at the hairclippers and I thought maybe I could strike up a conversation since we both buying hairclippers so I just simply stated "buying hairclippers" in a well nothing alrming you know. The guy looked at me like he saw ghost and then walked out of the store. I though okay well maybe i did something wrong? Man idont know, so I just stopped worrying about it because I was being nice and i dont know human haha trying to talk with people. So I get in line with few more people everything is cool except for the cashier dude keeping his eye on me for some reason then I realized I need batteries so I look for batteries which were right in front of the pharmacy for some odd reason. As I am walking up to the pharmacy to pick out batteries one pharmacist approaches the little desk thing they stand at just looking at me walking down the isle. I though well wierd that he staring so hard but maybe he thinks I have a prescription to fill or something. I get up there and picking out my batteries the pharmacists is watching me pick out batteries so i had my hand on a pack of batteries then looked up at the pharmacists .. he was staring at the batteries in my hand so i said "how are you?" You know breaking up this unecessary tension. Well, he looked at me for a few seconds then turned and spoke some words into another pharmacists ear so I just thought mayhe they were gay and walked back up to the counter to pay for my stuff. I got up there and the guy who left the store earlier was in line and so i just got in line behind him. He looks back for split second and then inhales deeply and exhales loudly. So i looked over at him like what the **** is wrong with guy? he didnt see but the cashier looked really serious. So something wasnt right and i felt like all eyes were on me so i held my bateries and hair clippers in front of me like i would have held my lunch tray hack in high school in order to maybe dye down the unecessary tension. Then i noticed the guy who was puffing had his wallet in his hand behind his back and was moving it in a back and forth waving movement like here it is take it. Im looking at it like what the **** ? Is this guy crazy someone could just snatch out of his hand right? Looked back up and now there is two cahiers both just looking at me haha so i think i know what was going on so i just smiled and shook my head at then for few seconds .... paid $60 for my stuff and left. I get out in the parking lot and the dude who walked earlier who came back to wave his wallet around was in his car talking to two other dudes who continuosly though it was appropriate for them to stare at me like i just stole what i had in my hands.haha well, it was stressful for me because it felt like i was being judged based on my appearence which would make sense, i think.to me non of that matters so i only judge people based on conversation and even then you still dont know who they really are. It seemed like i was beeing profiled. So I got home and thought man that sucked maybe i should just wear a suit and tie everywhere i go around here to avoid being treated like a criminal. Funny thing about that is is that I worked at a maximum security prison for one year and i dont even have tickets on my record haha well i dont like conforming to illiteracy so i decided to continue to wear what i want wear and be nice like everyone else should be.
What do you guys think?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by whatisthishere

Hello,

I dont know if this fits here or if it a mental issue or not but this is a explaination about some recent things I have had to experience.

So, I go to CVS to buy some hair clippers and something to shave my face with because I just moved to this new area and left my shaving stuff behind. Now I am wearing a white tshirt, pants I cut with scissors to make them shorts and socks with slippers. I have a mustache and gotee etc. I walk in the store and immediately am asked if I need help finding something which I did because I have never been to that CVS before so I asked where I could find hair clippers. So then the guy looked supprised when I asked him that and appeared to become a little bit nervous about something and he went to say that he wasnt sure where the hair clippers would be. So I said okay and started looking around the store to find hair clippers and then I found them in the middle of the second isle right in front of where the guy was who asked me if i needed help finding something. I thought about it for a while and just came to the conclusion that maybe it was his first day or something, who knows? Well, I overheard him asking someone else if they needed help since I was close by etc. and the guy asked him where he could find hairclippers haha. I was thinking good luck buddy since I asked the guy the same thing and he didnt know. Well, the spoke diffrently to him with a little more respect and told him that the hair clippers are down isle 2 sir and something else down isle that sir and can i assist with anything else today sir? So, I wasnt happy about that but owell. So the guy is walkijg down the isle and i am reading the box of hairclippers in my hand. He starts looking at the hairclippers and I thought maybe I could strike up a conversation since we both buying hairclippers so I just simply stated "buying hairclippers" in a well nothing alrming you know. The guy looked at me like he saw ghost and then walked out of the store. I though okay well maybe i did something wrong? Man idont know, so I just stopped worrying about it because I was being nice and i dont know human haha trying to talk with people. So I get in line with few more people everything is cool except for the cashier dude keeping his eye on me for some reason then I realized I need batteries so I look for batteries which were right in front of the pharmacy for some odd reason. As I am walking up to the pharmacy to pick out batteries one pharmacist approaches the little desk thing they stand at just looking at me walking down the isle. I though well wierd that he staring so hard but maybe he thinks I have a prescription to fill or something. I get up there and picking out my batteries the pharmacists is watching me pick out batteries so i had my hand on a pack of batteries then looked up at the pharmacists .. he was staring at the batteries in my hand so i said "how are you?" You know breaking up this unecessary tension. Well, he looked at me for a few seconds then turned and spoke some words into another pharmacists ear so I just thought mayhe they were gay and walked back up to the counter to pay for my stuff. I got up there and the guy who left the store earlier was in line and so i just got in line behind him. He looks back for split second and then inhales deeply and exhales loudly. So i looked over at him like what the **** is wrong with guy? he didnt see but the cashier looked really serious. So something wasnt right and i felt like all eyes were on me so i held my bateries and hair clippers in front of me like i would have held my lunch tray hack in high school in order to maybe dye down the unecessary tension. Then i noticed the guy who was puffing had his wallet in his hand behind his back and was moving it in a back and forth waving movement like here it is take it. Im looking at it like what the **** ? Is this guy crazy someone could just snatch out of his hand right? Looked back up and now there is two cahiers both just looking at me haha so i think i know what was going on so i just smiled and shook my head at then for few seconds .... paid $60 for my stuff and left. I get out in the parking lot and the dude who walked earlier who came back to wave his wallet around was in his car talking to two other dudes who continuosly though it was appropriate for them to stare at me like i just stole what i had in my hands.haha well, it was stressful for me because it felt like i was being judged based on my appearence which would make sense, i think.to me non of that matters so i only judge people based on conversation and even then you still dont know who they really are. It seemed like i was beeing profiled. So I got home and thought man that sucked maybe i should just wear a suit and tie everywhere i go around here to avoid being treated like a criminal. Funny thing about that is is that I worked at a maximum security prison for one year and i dont even have tickets on my record haha well i dont like conforming to illiteracy so i decided to continue to wear what i want wear and be nice like everyone else should be.
What do you guys think?

maybe they were just trying to figure out who the new guy was and waving the wallet was just a habit the guy had.

when ever I go to a new town or city to visit i get stared at, that in itself makes me mis interpret everyones body language as what its not. one day after noticing a woman clutching her purse as she walked by me and a few others staring at me like i had some deadly diseases I decided you know what lets break the ice. I touched my hair and said I just colored my hair but I didnt think it was that bad. everyone around me laughed and introduced their self, they were trying to figure out who the new person was in their town without being too pushy by asking me questions. then I asked about the woman clutching her purse and waving her wallet at me. I was told she just got that wallet and was proud of it and was waving it at people left and right. It had come from some place far away and from someone special. and here I thought they thought I had some disease or out to mug them

maybe next time you see someone staring at you, you can find a way to break the ice and introduce yourself. Sometimes people approach new neighbors and new towns people sometimes they just stand back and stare. it may be up to you to do the first contact thing with these people that were staring at you.

[whatisthishere]

Yeah, pretty good. I just dont care about things like that you know. If i go to store to buy something then i go to the store and buy something. Haha if i go to the store to borderline harrassed then i go to the store to get bordrrline harrassed. I dont go to the store to get harrassed. Maybe i did think about it a little harsh so im gonna have to see what can do to break the ice next time i need to buy somehing at the store.

[Werewoman]

I can't speak for CVS (in my family, we call it 'The Dark Side'), but I worked for Walgreen's at one time, and my son works there now in management and recently moved to North Dallas to attend school there. I can tell you that while some of the employees 'profiled' customers, and I witnessed behavior from fellow employees that I found deplorable, some employees got a real charge out of trying to catch thieves. I was not one of them. I figured if someone was stealing, it was between them and God and really not my problem. Most of the people I witnessed stealing didn't look like the 'type' that most people would consider to be thieves, and having been raised by a mother that was one person in public, and something evil in private, I don't make it a habit of 'judging a book by it's cover'. But that's me, and my son, as I taught him growing up.

I'm sorry to hear you were treated so badly. In a drug store, some employees will judge you by what meds you are picking up at the pharmacy. That's why I go to a small, family owned pharmacy for meds if I need them. Also, if one employee becomes suspicious of you (justified or not), they will put out the word to everyone else in the store to keep an eye on you. That seems to be the case with you. They act out of ignorance and stupidity, which makes it their bad, not yours.

Find another place to shop where there is not systematic profiling as there obviously is at that particular location. Each store has it's own unique profile. The store my son worked at here in Oklahoma, was/is not always the friendliest place - the manager is a b****, plain and simple, who's very passive aggressive and gets her jollies trying to make her employees cry. My son's nickname for her is Tyrannosaurus C***. I'm ashamed of his language, but not the spirit behind his observation of her personality. He is always polite, even when dealing with her, as well as difficult customers. I taught him that the best way to get back at people like that was to kill them with kindness. That way, he always gets the last laugh. It worked for me, and it works for him. The store he works in now is the complete opposite. The only thing his manager said to him when he arrived there was that sometimes famous people shop there and not to 'bug' them. LOL! (Tiger Woods was there a couple of weeks ago)

Unfortunately, not everyone who works in retail (or any other customer service job) has the skills to be good at it.

Be yourself, and others be damned if they don't accept that...and by all means, don't wear a suit, I like guys with goatees and cutoffs. My brother has a goatee and my husband looks super hot in cutoffs.

WW

[whatisthishere]

Haha, thankyou. I will keep my gotee and myself. I was thinking about counter-profiling the cashiers. I want to walk in there and just stare like I saw one of them take cash out of the cash register ha! That would be funny but probably end up bad for me.

[IceCreamKid]

Is your accent much different from the people's in this CVS? The store clerk might have responded the way he did because of not hearing your question clearly?

Do you resemble a celebrity? That would cause people to stare while they are trying to figure out who you are. Do you think it is some kind of racial discrimination?

Was it actually too cold for shorts? People sometimes stare at others when they seem oddly dressed for the weather.

I read that one of the ways stores can deter theft is to greet the customers as they come in. They do that at the drugstore I frequent. Sometimes I can't even see who is greeting me because of displays, etc. It must be working--I haven't stolen anything

If that had happened to me, I'd go in again and if they still acted strangely I'd probably say something like "I'm surprised you're not friendlier, given the economy."

[whatisthishere]

I went back there because I needed some laundry soap. It was in the morning around 8 or 9 am so there was only one lady there at the front. This time I just wore what I had left clean which was a pair of pants, socks and slippers and a t shirt. She was nice when I asked her where I could find the laundry soap she pointed me to the right place. I get to the counter and she takes her time with logging in to her register or whatever she was doing while I pulled out my wallet to get my money to pay for the soap. She took her time with the giving me back my change with cash register open for about 1 minute and a holf or so. No converstation or anything like that just silence so I just started looking at candy bars because she was started acting wierd. Got my change said thankyou and left but she just stared at me without a response. wtf? haha I didnt talk too much this time becuase of last time and also I went to a gas station earlier that day which was empty and just the cashier lady, older lady. I went there for some change to my laundry etc. So I thought well early morning conversation would be nice so I started talking to her about how I this new area and blah and she was acting nervous so I thought maybe she just doesnt want to talk so I kept it simple after please and thankyou stuff like that. Still that awkward profiling feeling.

You know, I figured well talking and being nice to people out here in this new place that I am would go over well since I dont know its talking and thats what humans do haha But apparently people dont like that too much so I tried talking less and keeping it simple and the same thing. So, I dont know.

I get back to my place where im at to do my laundry which the water is hooked up to the same place where I am living. I noticed the was no water coming out of my faucet for my sink so i thought well the manager should know. I walked outside and he was talking with my neighbor about the water and so I just was joking around and said " I dont have any water" in a funny oh my god the world is going to end type of joking manner with a smile on my at the end ... well, the got angry and was explaining what happened and the neighbor jumped in to assist with the explaining about how and what happens when a water line breaks. so I just smiled and nodded and then asked if this will effect the washer in the laundry rooms? well, now the guy was really angry his face got red told me its gonna take 5 minutes (my name) then he started spead walking off angry like. Wtf?

From what I have gathered in this new place concerning the people is that they dont like it when you express yourself and they dont like it when you have input on certain things that they might specialize in. I went to an interview here for a general maintenance position which is a skill easily attainable by anyone within about a year. Well, the guy is boasting about his 25 years of general maintenance experience and how he has done it all this and that so in order to show that I can also do that I just agreed and shared my experience too to start up conversation about the work since it was similar to what he was explaining. well, he was pissed! wtf? about 5 interviews or so the same thing so I thought in my most recent one that maybe I will just say nothing and nod my head and smile etc. keep it simple like yes and no or I can or I have done and thats it. well, nah haha too much talk not good and not enough talk the same. I experienced this individually with people also at grocery stores and gas stations and a boat yard and a gun shop.
Grocery store; I walk in get my groceries and go to pay for my stuff. The bagger decides to just walk off with my cart so I said hey! I got it thankyou. well, not good ... everyone who works there gave some evil looks and even some of the people shopping there.
Gas station; I walk in to the gas station to buy some water and I go pay for my stuff. I run credit purchases so it automatically goes to debit. Theres a line behind me so I ask the cashier if she could let me run this on credit instead of debit. haha she looked at me like I had a gun to her face so I turned around thinking well maybe someone is behind me with gun? i dont know haha well, it was a big deal and some people werent happy about it either in the store. She wouldnt let run my card on credit unless I gave her my ID so I did and she just studied my ID with my card laying down at the table then gave this look like I know what your up to. Wtf?
Boat yard: I go to the boat yard to check out some motors. Walk in and was gretted by this guy nicely at first the he looked me up and down then asked me what do I need? in a semi unpolite manner. So I thought man I come here to spend money and I get this crap so I just expressed myself the way he expressed himself to me to see how he likes being treated inferior. It didnt go so well...I asked to see what he had available and he told me that he doesnt have what im looking for so I just smiled and left.
Gun shop: I walk in to buy some non lethal ammo becuase I go hiking and if I have to shoot a animal I dont want to kill it I just want to stun it so I have time to get away etc. Well, I walk in and immediately they look me up and down and say what do you need? in a non polite manner. Well I thought man I come here to spend money wtf? so I just ask for some non lethal ammo. They laughed and said what do you need that for? I told them about my hiking thing with the animals and well the guy says I cant help you and just stares at me with a blank look. Wtf?

And I am a white guy talking with white people in a place with about maybe 2 million living here.

I really dont know.

[whatisthishere]

and i dont look like any celebrity.

[Dog on a Tree]

Hello there, it's difficult to say what people are meaning with their reactions. Don't judge them unless something blatant happens. Perhaps it's all because you are the new guy in town? or it could be due to what you are wearing. You would be surprised by how some people judge others completely on clothing.

[PixieRN]

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using Tapatalk

[IceCreamKid]

It might be a matter of perception. Or it could be that wherever it is you are living, people just aren't that friendly.