Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 09, 2013, 12:17 AM
henrydavidtherobot's Avatar
henrydavidtherobot henrydavidtherobot is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 748
I'm a really good, hardworking student. My dad covers most of my living and school expenses. He says that he is proud of me and happy to do it, but I am beginning to feel so guilty. He is struggling with money and I feel like a huge burden and piece of poop. This is my last semester, so hopefully I can become more independent after this. I tried holding down two jobs on top of school, my editing gig, and my internship, but my heart acted up and I had fainting spells. I tell him that I am grateful all the time. I don't know how to accept this loving gift without hating myself for it.
Hugs from:
Anonymous33150, gayleggg, Travelinglady

advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 09, 2013, 11:12 AM
gayleggg's Avatar
gayleggg gayleggg is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,619
I, too, had parents that helped me. I always felt guilty, too. It wasn't until later in their lives that I was able to help them. When their health started to fail I was all they had to help out. Don't worry, your father does this because he loves you. You will one day have your chance to repay him by being there for him when he needs you. Let go of the guilt. What is given out of love should not cause guilt. It's not what he would want.
Gayle
Thanks for this!
henrydavidtherobot
  #3  
Old Aug 09, 2013, 12:24 PM
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
As a parent of two college students, I have to say I don't regret helping my kids out. In fact, I don't want them to have much debt when they get out and am glad to do it. We are blessed that they do get lots of financial aid, though. We still have to pay for housing, incidentals, clothing, etc.

If your dad didn't want to do it, then I think he would say he couldn't. I can understand wanting to feel guilty, but I don't think it's necessary. Just remember down the road that your dad might need some help (financial or otherwise) and if you can, then it would be nice to help him some.
Thanks for this!
henrydavidtherobot
  #4  
Old Aug 12, 2013, 01:33 AM
possum220's Avatar
possum220 possum220 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,433
Give it a couple of years and you may be in a position to help your dad out. Try and think long term. Both of you are doing your best.
  #5  
Old Aug 12, 2013, 08:53 PM
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
It is very hard to put ourselves in the position of those older than we are and understand where they are coming from because we have not yet had experiences like theirs. Think back to something you understand now that you did not when you were first introduced to it and realize it will be like that all your life; when you have children of your own, you may understand what you dad is saying now, for example I'm still puzzled about when I was 6-8 years old and loved going to the beach and ran into the water first thing and did not understand about the adults and how they just wanted to lay in the sand on their towels instead You have to get to "that" age to understand. My eyes are really getting opened being in my 60s now; there's so many things I didn't "get" even watching my grandparents, parents, imagining, even as late as my 50s, before I retired.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
Reply
Views: 547

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:59 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.