[rawpasta]

I took the Psych Central's BPD test. I know it isn't a diagnosis and I am not saying I have BPD. But I was trying to be really modest and under exaggerate myself during the test and I still scored 37 on that test. 33 and higher is supposed to be severe.

I guess it has caused my life some problems. But it doesn't affect my life that badly. Like my life would be better if I worked on this with a proffesional. But I am 17 and don't want the drama of my parents knowing and asking me "Are you sure you're feeling ok" every hour. Like I am not depressed or any thing. But ya, I don't want the drama.

I have been therapists in the past and I feel as though they are pretty useless, but I may have had a bad experience. So what should I do? Can I just ignore it? Thanks!

IMO if you are not obviously having issues I think you shouldn't put to much stock in it. At 17 you should be having ups and downs. It's part of growing up and finding your place.. I personally think it's too early to diag someone with a mood disorder. It would have to be really, really obvious. Doesn't sound that way to me

[rawpasta]

Great input, I think you're right, I'll just forget about it then. But what should I do about my BPD related problems? The only really really big ones are:
-Unstable image of self
-If I see any potential threat in someone at all, I cut them out of my life
-Cant hold a job more than a couple weeks, or a relationship
-Drinking problems
-Sometimes suicidal thoughts, but I am not in any danger, not serious thoughts and are rare
-I can get REALLY REALLY angry over things that might not be that big a deal. Like so angry that I just swear horrible horrible stuff at people, threaten people, carry a knife, like I get super angry.
-Constant paranoia
-Lose friends every couple of months and have only had one friend for more than one year

So I get this could be due to my age. But which of my problems should I just wait out until I am older and they go away, and which should I work on and how.

Also, I am going to college next year and it is very small with only like 200 students. If I wreck all my relationships and friendships there, I'll have no one. So I don't want to screw things up.

Also, I just broke up with my girlfriend and lost all my friends because of it, which sucks. But I guess this means now would be a good time to make life changes.

I am very willing to work hard to change things, just not sure how or what. Thanks!

[rawpasta]

Oh and procastination is another big problem

[sewerrats]

stand back an look at your life , NOW CHANGE IT

Many of those things are things that I dealt with at your age. I was considered an alcoholic. Lost my friends durin and after hs due to my anger and self esteem issues. I still work on some of those things today. As sewarrats said. You are at a great place to reinvent yourself as you enter college. Take some anger management classes. Maybe there are some online (?) talk to a therapist or maybe you need a peer mentor instead. If the school has a psychology dept or even if they don't they can probably hook you up with someone. You will probably continue to make mistakes for a while. Be easy on yourself as you learn. The first step is recognizing what needs to change

[Rose3]

Just wondering if the student counselling could be a support for you, or could connect you with additional support or groups? Anger - is a normal feeling, but consider that you are giving yourself permission about the way that you express your anger (threatening others, swearing at people) - so maybe think of some other ways to express your anger or to deal with your anger, or with situations that result in your feeling angry. Is it necessary for you to carry a weapon? Maybe don't bring any weapons with you. Think of the good times that you can have with friends. All the best!

[rawpasta]

Awesome advice everyone. Thanks!