[Audrey]

ok, so here is my dilamina... I hate working with clicks. I used to be friends with everyone at my work, and i would like to continue to be. I still see the same good in the people that i did when i first started. Expect now I feel like i'm caught in the middle of an argument with my one head head and another cashier. Then there is this other head cashier who likes to talk to people, but she never says anything to me. I just simply asked her the other day how she was doing and she says oh i got a lot of work to do in a way that was like she didn't want to talk to me. Well, that's pretty obivious because she didn't have a lot of work to do. Anyway, i never did care for her anyway, it's just the fact that she's my head cashier and i hate working with her. The one i get along with stresses out about everything and I feel like she's trying to get me involved. I hate bad mouthing people. I feel like i'm stuck in this huge mess right now. Then i found out yesterday from another associate that this one associate that i got written up for sexual harrasment over a year ago had a previous write up for sexual harrasment, and they never bothered disaplining him. In fact, he got a promotion! My back chronicly hurts me. It is so hard to sleep any more. I'm actually scared to lay down to rest because of the pain that would involve. Well anyway, if anyone has any suggestions about weird work place people it would be appraciated.

[Willow]

I don't envy you Audrey. Work place conflicts are one of my least favorite things to deal with. Fortunately, right now I am in a position that keeps me out of politics fairly well. Best advice I have for you is that you take the example of your rude friend and remain too busy to talk. I think she's onto something there! Nose to the grindstone... button on lips! Smile on face... keep it shallow. At least for now. until the storm blows over.

I sure hope this helps!

[Roxie]

Hi Audrey

Ahhh, the old work place! There is a rotten apple in every barrel! LOL

In most cases it has nothing to do with the individual (in this case, you). People have problems in their personal lives. With this fast paced world long hours, union disputes, fear of loss of job, management problems and a beginning of a new year will do it everytime!

This is how I deal with this situation:

PERSON REALLY IS CRANKY ALL THE TIME: I never give these type of people the satisfaction of getting to me. I always will nod (instead of saying hello) and, on occasion will even smile at them. If I do not get a warm welcome, the next step! As you go by these people let "your eyes do the talking." Just look at them and "don't smile" or "don't frown." This brings the curiosity out in people such as this and they will eventually strive harder to make contact with you. Works everytime.

HAVE A WORK BUD GETTING YOU DOWN? The person is usually nice, may be going thru a rough time in their personal life or even fearful they are going to be fired. Sometimes these people have no idea how to handle their particular situation so they vent. You can either listen patiently and try to understand, but most importantly, try to give some solid advice. If you have done what you can and this person is just a "complainer" try fixing it the nice way first .... change the subject! Talk about a movie you've just seen, something that is bothering yourself and if all else fails with this person say, "I've offered advise and you've chosen not to take it. Therefore, I don't want to hear about it anymore!" I've had to do this and I know it's hard to do, but it cuts through a lot of hard feelings and will prevent you from snapping at the person caused by a bad day of your own.

As far as sexual harrassment something went very wrong there. Either there was no evidence to go against the accused person or the employees "chickened out" didn't come forward and get this person. Sexual harrassment is rarely ever tolerated in the workplace. Something was not right with this one. If it should happen to anyone or yourself, report it, and stick with it. If you know someone else in the workplace has reported such an incident and you have seen it with your own eyes, please back this person up and report it to your supervisor.

I know this will help hon. I deal with people every day. Unfortunately, there is always that one person that is crude, rude, tries to be all powerful and pushy. Just look at them with no expression and keep out of their way if possible. Good luck!

[Roxie]

Ooops Willow forgot to add:

Your back problems are stressed related. It's amazing when under pressure and work or even at home how we can get achy, sometimes feel like we are getting the flu and generally can feel like dog poop in a bag. LOL I suggest you take Tai Chi or Yoga classes. Each of equally effective. Tai Chi works for me.

[SundaysChild]

Willow, you've got the right idea. Just do your job and stay out of the "office politics." I was never a part of a click, although I've been accused, so I was always on the peripheries. That was much more pleasant; no pressures.


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

[(JD)]

yeah...work place politics! My suggestion is to find a wording of a sentence comfortable to you, fitting to you, and repeat it to anyone to tries to get you involved. The gist of the sentence is that you have thought about how everyone is different, and have different needs, and you really don't feel qualified to comment about anyone else...

This way, no matter what you might have been dragged into in the past, it excuses you from future clique membership. It should imply that you have re-thought your actions and feelings, and just ain't gonna play!

<font color=green>...I can misspeak like the best of us</font color=green>

[Audrey]

Thanks everyone for your posts. I have been thinking about all of your advice. I just hate it how everyone stands around in a group and i'm by myself trying to clean up or doing nothing at all. But at the same time, like you all basically said... I don't care about what they are talking about anyway. It is still frustrating, because i want to get promotions as well. And in most companies, the boss usually promotes the people that they can get along with the best... so i guess this is why it bothers me so much. That and i have a head cashier that everytime she talks to me she gets an additute. I usually try to just act like I don't notice.. but i think i'll try the walking by her with a neutral look on my face - it couldn't hurt..

[SundaysChild]

"Smile - - It confuses your enemies."


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

[Audrey]

I've tried the smiling. It doesn't do much good. I get along with her as long as i don't talk to her. That's the problem. It seems like all the other cashiers get along with her, and talk to her when there is nothing else to do. This is our slow season right now, so i feel that the most. But when it comes to me i'm just ignored. i hate being ignored, but at the same time i really dont' know waht to talk to her about anyway. I really wouldn't care if it wasn't for the fact that i feel like she's rude to me and always tring to see if there is something she can "yell" at me for, and she has my authority over me... It's not like i ever did anything to her.

[SundaysChild]

The smile you have on your face when she looks at you doesn't have to be for her. It doesn't have to yeild any obvious results. No doubt you'll be driving her nuts because she's always nasty to you but she can't wipe that smile off your face. One of two things, you'll eventually crumble her walls or she'll give up trying to intimidate you. Don't give up your power to her! Did you read 'Beauty is in the "I" '?

Here's another saying for you:

"Fake it till you make it."


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."