What do you do when......

I think if someone sees bad things another is doing you should warn your friends or others that may not be very strong. I am not an abuser by any means but I would do it to protect someone. just my opinion!

I agree with you fuzzybear...I always always make up my own mind...and so far i think everyone has been warm and thoughtful...hope you find this to be true also!!!

When someone warns me I tend to wonder why they are doing this sorta of thing. Online can be very hard to read a person and mistakes and ones own issues can come into play. Someone told other people in here not to post or write to me. I know this because I saw that pm from more than one person. There wasn't a reason for that I just came on and asked for and gave help when I could , where I could. I don't come here much anymore now. I do PM with some members...
It's really sad when people warn people about perceived threats when they do not exist. The person who did this...never had a pm from me nor pmed me...they just didn't know me and I guess they were jealous or something

out of curiosity I checked to see what the meaning of contentious was because I was being called it and had no idea what it meant.

From the websters meridian dictionary -

Main Entry: con·ten·tious
Pronunciation: k&n-'ten(t)-sh&s
Function: adjective
1 : likely to cause contention <a contentious argument>
2 : exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes <a man of a most contentious nature>
synonym see BELLIGERENT
- con·ten·tious·ly adverb
- con·ten·tious·ness noun

Since NO ONE on this thread is arguing but is accepting everyones opinions as their OWN opinions then NO ONE here is this thread can possibly be considered contentious.

now if people would like to continue with the name calling please do so by pm (that is if it is alowed by this sites rules and guidelines) so that this thread does not continue to be rocked off of Fuzzys question.

I for one am very interested in hearing other peoples opinions of Fuzzys great question.

As an outsider looking in, this thread appears to have some personal tones to it.

I would like members to please keep in mind that discussing private issues (either vaguely or directly) on the public forum can be considered as flaming and to refrain from that.

If I've misread, then I apologize now but still would like to keep the reminder in place.

KD

Thanks Kimmy.

I think that it's okay for someone to share their own experiences of interacting with someone. That doesn't mean that the person you're sharing it with has to feel or think the way you do about the other. I think it's just another data point to consider. Personally, I'm likely to place less weight on data from other sources versus my own experiences, but I don't discount them entirely, either. And the weight you might assign to the data will be based, in part, on any motivations you perceive or infer about why the person is telling you about it.

All we can do is take in the information we're given, seek out what we can, and put it together with our experiences to come up with our own truth. Not an easy or predictable task, but I think an important part of maintaining balance.

gg

I have been on both sides of the warning issue...giving and receiving.

When giving a warning, I always preface it with..."This has been my experience with such and such individual." I also include specific situations that happened to back up my opinion. I do this rarely, and only when I can see that a real issue could evolve.

As far as being on the receiving end of warnings, I always ask the warner to give me specifics..tell me what happened to make them feel that they need to warn me.

Granted, there are times when folks are trying to make your decisions for you regarding who you associate with. Everyone has a specific agenda. All we can do is sort through the muck and decide for ourselves who to associate with and who not to. And I for one try not to judge those who warn.....I just try to understand why.

Thanks everyone for your replies!!

Fuzzy

"Everyone has their own likes dislikes and triggers. If I saw someone carrying a snake I would definately cross the street but a friend of mine would walk right up to it and drape it around her."

grrrrrrr back at you

PasDeDeaux...I am sorry that happened to you!!! I never listen to anybody...I always make up my own mind! You can pm me anytime...I will answer...!!! Please don't let it keep you from PC...there are lots of great people on here!!

Glad you liked that example.

Please keep coming back. I'm new, but I have found your posts very helpful & very well-written. It would be a loss for us.--Suzy

I keep coming back to this (because it's something I've faced as a member, and as an administrator) and would like to share what I've learned over time. I hope y'all don't mind.

I don't think there's any right or wrong here...unless there was mal intent or gossiping involved.

Assuming that it wasn't one of the above, I'd like to say that as human beings we constantly take in information...in every avenue of our lives and on many levels...from novels, to t.v., to online communities and websites, to communication other humans, to working the radio to find a station. We're always, always taking in some form of information and it's up to us how we process it, making use of our own good judgment and free will.

You know, as readers and as human beings we all have responsibilities. I'm reminded here of the old saying, "If Tommy told you to jump in the lake, would ya do it?" I actually remember the first time I heard that as a child and was excited with the presentation to me that I had free will; that though I was presented with something I didn't have to jump on board. I didn't have to take as my own everything I was told or that was shared with me. Did that make the other person wrong or bad? No. I still played with Tommy and enjoyed it.

That said, we can't control others, change their opinions and demand of them them not to share what they've learned. Sharing is one reason that human beings interact. As in many things in this life, at that point the ball is in our court.

I guess I'm trying to say that really the worse "wrong" here would be what WE individually do with information presented to us because, in the end, we can only control ourselves. Sometimes we can stop behaviors in their tracks by it stopping where the "ball dropped". Sometimes life changing events, and even world saving events, occur because we shared our knowledges and understandings. When it's looked at that way, it's really more about us...not so much about the information given to us of the source thereof. It's what we do with it.

Love &amp; Respect,

KD

The voice of reason! YAAAAY!

I agree with most of what you have written.... I started drafting a post in response but decided to let it drop

This is an interesting thread, thanks to all who have replied!

Take care,
Fuzzy