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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 52
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#1
Hi! I haven't been on in a while. I'm Hayden, I'm 15, and recently I've been diagnosed with both OCD and claustrophobia. In my therapy session today my dad brought up the fact that I can't stand being touched by people. It had never really bothered me before but my therapist and father think it's anxiety related. I, however, tend not to think so. Four years ago I used to have moderate anxiety problems, the peak of them being the time I barely ate for three weeks straight, but nowadays nothing anxiety-related ever really happens to me too often (i.e. a panic attack every few months).
Today when my therapist was asking me about it, he would scooch in every so often until he got to a point where I was so uncomfortable I laughed and cried for a minute straight until he moved because I almost hit him in the face trying to push him away from me (embarrassing, egh). Now that I'm home, I decided to look this topic up again, as I have before. I've stumbled across multiple things, such as SPD and so on, but my main question I guess is whether or not this is anxiety-related. My therapist had brought up other explanations, but unfortunately I can't remember them clearly because I was still trying to calm down from my laughing/crying fit. Here's a list of things I feel:
Sorry that was so long! Thanks for any feedback I get! I was thinking of possibly bringing this up with my therapist next time. |
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Anonymous200777, Corvette, Sabrina, shezbut
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2013
Location: Wichita, Ks
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#2
Well, one thing I noticed is you seem to be really intelligent. Seriously, most adults can't write as well as you posted.
From what I've noticed over the years, kids that are really smart tend to have things figured out before the teacher finishes or the problem is completely described. Essentially, you know the answer before the other person is done asking the question. Then you get bored and fidgety. Thus you start moving around because your mind is on its way to whatever you notice next. (It's not ADHD, but that you've already figured out X and are on your way to Y.) You do seem to have some OCD type of symptoms and much of the impatience and other things are probably related to is. Personally, that's the area I would focus on with your therapist. And for what it's worth, I don't like being touched either. Probably has to do with my Schizoid antisocial disorder (and maybe a Sociopathic). Personal space bubbles unite! Wait ... no! |
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Ihani
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Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
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#3
Personal space is personal space. Its where you can feel some kind of sense of yourself. I hate it when people get inside my space. Personally I think your therapist was very inconsiderate to put you through that. You deserve an apology.
The general population is a mix of like to be touched and don't like to be touched so you aren't alone in that. I have issues with being touched/hugged. I am working on it with my therapist. He asks first if I want a hug. At the start my body would spasm. Pretty crappy. Even now it will sometimes happen but more often now its kind of safe. Sometimes now I will say no. But its always my choice. I think it would be a good thing to set boundaries with your therapist and get them to ask if it is safe to come close. That might help you in the long term to build up trust. Its okay to ask for what you need. |
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Jimi the rat
Member Since Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,265
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#4
Some people are just extra sensitive. It doesn't have to be a symptom. It can be normalized if you allow it. Even though I have Asperger's syndrome I feel like many of my so called aspie behaviors are normal, it is just that the framework is too tight. It seems like it takes more and more from a person to be "normal". Normal these days = happy, outgoing, focused, energetic, smart, social, insensitive (to impression etc). For those who are not ALL of them, there is a diagnosis it seems.
I'm not saying diagnoses are bad. I'm just against narrowing down "normal" to an absurd. There is a "thing" called HSP, Highly sensitive person. he beauty of it is it is a sort of framework for something that is not a disorder. It is having a neurological setup that increases sensitivity compared to others. 1 in 5 might be HSP or have traits of it. The neurology behind it is that we have mental "filters" and some have thinner filters. The sensitivity can take many forms. Some are more socially sensitive (can't stand conflict, might be shy or quiet, easily hurt, tired after socializing), some are more conscientious and careful (and sensitive to stress and danger) and some are prominently sensitive to sensation (loud noises, strong smells, touch etc). To be considered HSP you need several traits of sensitivity. But even if you only have a few and you find it unusual it is really in the same category as HSP. It is "normal". If something bothers you to cause you severe issues you can maybe think in the terms of a proper diagnosis. Sometimes the issues come from society and then you can argue "who's" disordered. I still think it really is not YOU. Society is so hostile to sensitivity that the word sensitive even sets off bad feelings in people. Sensitive is bad bad! The matter of pathologizing has to be individual. It is about where you want to draw the line. Just low latent inhibition is not a disorder in itself. It can however be underneath several disorders. For example I don't think you actually CAN have OCD without having LLI. There will always be a grey area between normal and disorder and always a spectrum spanning into what is seen as normal as well. All my family are HSP and I am AS. You can debate if they have autistic traits or if I'm at least partly normal. Because we do have a lot in common. Just a matter of perspective. __________________ |
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Pierro
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#5
I agree with Webgoji, you seem brilliantly talented and you articulate yourself very well. I don't like being touched by strangers and I have about a 5 foot circle around myself at all times in my boundary zone, when a stranger gets in my "bubble" either I will move out of it, (flee the scene) or I start using defensive body language. I thought that was pretty normal though? If you don't like being touched, I don't think thats a problem, its just smart. Good luck to you my friend.
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#6
i don't like being touched either- in fact the only time i really allow it is if it's for a purpose... like someone wants to give me something, or maybe for a small hug- but not too often
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 52
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#7
Thanks for your feedback, everyone. I thought it seemed normal, so I'm not too concerned about it. If anything, I'm just annoyed at the fact everybody seems to think everything I dislike doing is because of "anxiety" (read: my father).
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Anonymous200777
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Sabrina
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
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#8
Ihani, I enjoyed reading your post because you wrote it so well and because I could certainly identify with one or two things there.
I detest being touched by anyone other than my husband and even he doesn't casually touch me because he knows I'd rather not be touched. My son takes sadistic delight in touching my face despite my total loss of temper and control when he does. Besides, his fingers and nails are always filthy. My skin crawls at the the thought of touching other people and hugs are hard for me to give, especially to strangers. I too am claustrophobic but perhaps not on the level that you are. I just hate confined spaces and crowds and feel claustrophobic if there is too much going on around me, including noise. It is lonely to be like this sometimes but as Possum said, your personal space is your personal space. I just wish others would respect that. __________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
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#9
Being touchy doesn't seem to be that uncommon. I can't stand people touching me. The reasons vary from person to person. For me it's probably related to being physically hurt so much during childhood. I wonder what psychologists would say.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,644
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#10
I don't like being touched either. Some people offer hugs to me but I prefer to not have them. I would say something like, "I'd love to but I don't feel comfortable with hugging". I don't give out hugs myself, except if I feel way too good because someone did something for me that seemed heroic. But that's rare.
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TheEbonyEwe
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Member
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 307
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#11
Quote:
Oh, and those cheek kisses from aunts and what... (I can't find the puke emoticon....but PUKE!) |
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