[Terraminator]

I didn't know what category this would fit into, so I'll just put it here. I don't know what would've caused it. I feel a bit out of place because other people have been abused, locked up, or seen death right in front of them. My problems are so insignificant, so I find it hard to figure out what's wrong with me. My best friend died when I was twelve, and I was always so emotionally underdeveloped. I was a seven year old in my head. My older brother who I idolized abandoned me and my younger one suffocated in his sleep. Then my friend, Candace, an older to girl who was more like a mother to me than my real one, also suffocated. After that, I stopped being able to feel love. Specifically romantic love, like marriage or relationships or sex. I can't feel it or understand it. It's like I'm observing another species and it's just baffling.

Friendship is a little easier to understand but harder to experience. I only have one friend I care about, but all I could call it is...fondness. Mild affection. Not love. I can't love anyone.

[Webgoji]

Actually, it sounds less like sociapathy and more like schizoid antisocial disorder or maybe dissociative disorder (sp?). Of course with all of what happened, it could be dissociation due to PTSD.

I dunno, maybe something you could talk to a therapist about since it seems to be affecting you.

[shezbut]

It sounds as though you did have some traumatic experiences in your youth.

I think that you should see a pDoc and a T for proper diagnosis and help to feeling better about yourself in life. Many of us need help sometimes. That doesn't necessarily mean that we're psychotic towards ourselves or others...we just need help to process experiences that we've had in life.

There is alot more to aspd than not feeling love. Now if you had said that you caused the suffocation or got some type of enjoyment out of it then maybe, but I would more toward some sort of an attachment issue due to your loss.

[IndieVisible]

have you killed any animals as a child? Take pleasure in physically hurting others? Have no remorse, empathy or guilt? Have a criminal background? Feel laws do not apply to you? Could walk by a starving child and laugh? That is more on the line of a sociopath then what your describing. I agree what you described sounds more like PTSD. Good luck to you!