Do you regret ever having gone for MH treatment?

Were I am healthcare is free so cost was never an issue. I do not regret seeking help at all. I don't want to say I would have crashed and burned without it because if there's one thing I've learned is that I always end up pulling through even when trying to off myself. I'm resiliant like that.

The trick for me was finding the RIGHT treatment. CBT or talk therapy has never helped as anything more than a stop gap. Meds messed me up so I try and stay on as little as possible, even if that means my emotions are still kinda out of control at least I HAVE emotions even if they're not fun ones.

DBT really helped me, as did exposure therapy. Proactive treatments have always helped. So if your treatment isn't working look into different types of treatment. DBT is designed for BPD, but I have Bipolar type 2 and anxiety and for some reason it was better than anything they could have offered me.

What I regret most is locking myself in my house and not going out, starving myself, cutting contact with so many people, trying to kill myself, the scars on my legs, betraying people by stealing medication, and letting one man ruin my life for so long even after he was out of it.

What I am proud of now is that I still have emotions, that I still have rough days and I get through them in a healthy way not a destructive way, that I am stable enough to live on my own and go to school and make friends and make a phone call even if I'm not good at it and even if I still need a lot of help. I like that when I start getting really bad I can look at it and say "this, this is nothing. I've done this before" and get through it, knowing it's okay to miss class to cry in the shower, and still have the tools in place to get the notes after.

For me what helped the most to get over the guilt and shame of being in treatment was to tell people I was in treatment. I will tell almost anyone who will listen what I have been though and how I got though it, so that maybe if they have been through something similar they won't feel as ashamed about it and can have the freedom to speak up. Because there's a lot of stigma around having MI, but I've found if I call it out enough it can't hide, and then it gets dealt with because a lot of it is misinformation and lack of information. People fear what they don't understand, so I try and help them understand, or at least help them understand me.



Sorry... rant.

Hello MotownJohnny-

In response to your question, do you ever regret having gone for MH treatment, I don't know how loudly I can shout-YES. I turned to the MH profession completely naïve except for the general concept of what was supposed to happen. I have never been as close to ending my life as I was when I was in "treatment" and since then. The story of what happened to me is long and I don't want to be boring but it turned my life and world completely upside down. No question, I had problems to begin with-that's why I was seeking help-but I was met with professionals who were not exactly considering MY best interest. In some cases they wanted to be in a relationship that wasn't professional and certainly not therapeutic. I was met with professionals who blamed me when everything went south. They denied what they did-making me feel as if I was losing my mind-and, worse, they blamed my "confusion" on the trauma and abuse in my past. I was wounded in my past by people who were supposed to love and care for me. I went to get help, as an adult, by those who were supposed to provide ethical treatment and was wounded again. How do you trust after that? How do you live a life after that?

I was in a bad place when I started therapy but at least I had a chance. I was still a part of the world, still functioning in relationships, still had a career, still had hopes and dreams. I had been struggling with painful symptoms my whole life but I still had the idea that I would some day see the light at the end of the tunnel. That all died during the ten years of therapy. I rarely say this or write this because I am hanging by only a tiny shred but I'm afraid that I will never make it through. I think that I died during those years of "professional help" and I'm now just a zombie.

My heart breaks for anyone who has had a wounding experience by the mental health profession.

CrimsonBlues --

I don’t know what to do or how to go about it – but I think there needs to be a website or SOMETHING that can bring this kind of experience to light.

There’s a lot attention being paid to “bullying” these days. Maybe that could be a framework for highlighting how bad therapy can ruin people’s lives?

Another option could be for those of us who have experienced interpersonal trauma from therapy to form a grass-roots organization ourselves? I am not functional or interpersonally skilled enough to do that by myself, though that idea has kept me going as much as anything.

In my case I think “therapy” has finally been successful but my life is crap. Reminds me of the old line about “the operation was a success but the patient died.” Most of the time, I wish I had, too.

It's an "unthinkable"/"unmentionable" idea but it might help put the problem in perspective to consider seriously that prohibitions against suicide should be reconsidered by society. If people are of no use to themselves or others and the social “treatment” of that condition just creates more misery, why not just let us “resign”? Doesn't mean that we don't love people who are still here or the planet in general but if we're miserable and can't contribute anything that's any good, why not just let us go?

Hello here today-

Thank you for your response. You have brought up some very important thoughts and ideas. As far as a grassroots organization or other options for bringing attention to what can happen in therapy-a wonderful idea. It is something that I too have thought a great deal about. I am working on a project right now that includes detailing the years in therapy for the very reason that I felt so strongly that the unfortunate side of therapy be more known to the public. There are wonderful books and articles out there but society, I think, is still largely in the dark about the subject. The project has been slow going, as far as completing it, because it's so painful and it is constantly triggering me-as well as all the other stuff I am struggling with-but letting more people know about the damaging possibilities of the mental health profession motivates me to continue in spite of the anguish. I would absolutely welcome a conversation with you about this. From what I have seen on this forum alone, we are not the only ones who have stories or thoughts to contribute.

Yes, I am glad I sought help even though I didn't really have any choice. Depression hit me so hard and heavy I wouldn't be here if not for the mental health providers, actually more than once. I've had lots of ups and downs but at least my mother and daddy never had the heart break of loosing me and my daughter still has her mother, even though, still depressed most of the time.

I'm sorry about your dyslexia, it must be a hard thing to handle, especially with other in your family in the same boat. It may be a good thing that you all have it so you can understand each other. I also have PTSD and know how hard it is just to get through the day with the bad memories.

I suppose this is a tough question because sometimes the reality of the situation is that without having attempted different treatments - a lot of people are given up on by their families and doctors. There's a lot of pressure.

From someone who hasn't gone down the medication route, i can honestly say it's very hard to follow through with. People honestly think you just don't want to help yourself when in reality you need as much love and support as ever in finding something else.

Unfortunately my MH team are very much meds meds meds - i hate that it can been seen as a 'quick fix,' i mean how ridiculous. My worry is that meds are sometimes given as a means of not having to do much else by a patient. And then of course you get into the murkier waters of diminished responsibility etc. I guess my point is that, there is no risk free treatment but no one should be shamed for their own feelings - some people are not given much choice of treatment but there must always be an emphasis on supporting them and their feelings towards difficult situations. It's the latter that often goes irresolute.

They stole my spirits my heart my life my future.

I regret it more than anything.

No, No, and, No.

For me it was like someone turned on a light bulb. For years I knew I was different from others but had no clue why. At one point the thought entered my mind that my so called weirdness and difficulties where the result of a character flaw. Somehow or another I had failed as a person and would continue to do so the remainder of my days. When I think back on the years past and all of the struggles I've been through, it gets me angry to think that something could have been done sooner (and should have been done by my parents).

Knowing my diagnosis and taking meds has not given me a new life but it has helped tremendously in understanding why I am the way I am. The meds are doing their job which to make my life a bit easier by managing the chemical imbalance in my brain.

I wish I had done this sooner. So many things would have turned out different for me if I had.

Yes.

Psychiatry harmed me, because I was misdiagnosed. I was put through hell, so I could fit into their "accurate" diagnosis. They came up with theories and tried to convince me I was abused, when I never ever was. It was easier to do this than look for other explanations.

All this could have been prevented if they followed their instincts, asked the right questions and actually listened to me and my family.

Recovery was never discussed and hope wasn't even an option.

When I first joined PC I was questioning the therapist that I had been working with.
Even though he knew I had PTSD, he was a messed up person himself. He told me he had been a recovering heroin addict, was a habitual liar, and had strong narcissistic tendencies. By that time I had already been misdiagnosed and had worked with a psychiatrist that was trying to push all kinds of medication at me, that I am glad I refused to take tbh.

I noticed that people who were posting were constantly recommending finding a therapist, ask a therapist, ask your mental health team providers and I just could not say that to people.

I did finally find a really "good therapist" and it has made such a big difference to me, he even validated the "poor therapy" that I had gotten before too.

It really saddens me that so many have posted the pain that therapy has brought to them. Especially when I know how the "right" therapist can be such a life line.

It is sad that there are so many therapists out there doing so much harm and getting paid for it and are probably still practicing when they should not be.

Someone should set up a site that rates therapists like Angies list or something. When someone is really struggling they tend to feel that a psychologist or psychiatrist should know their job and can be trusted. Well, apparently that is just not the case, and that is just so sad.

OE

I don't think therapy in the talk sense is good for people like me. At all. End of story. I went to them with a very specific anxiety issue I could not handle. Back then they treated everything with psychodynamics which I KNEW (because I was a psych student FCS!!!) would not help my issue. However I was told I MIGHT get a grant (for the targeted training and reprogramming for getting away from the anxiety) if I FIRST participated in THEIR treatment.

I was verbally and mentally abused in therapy in the name of psychodynamic therapy, I was treated like crap by very narcissistic doctors, I was put on medication that damaged my brain and body for life.... I did all that just so they finally would give me the grant. I live where we have socialized med and if I paid up for private care, that would have been all my food money and half of my rent money and I already lived in a really cheap place that was 200 square feet.

Every time I asked for the grant I was told just to wait a little longer, and a little longer. I was even told that the most freudian of them all was someone specialized in my anxiety disorder and it was a big fat lie and she just wanted to analyze me.

More and more I lost grip of reality, the meds were harming me bad and finally, finally they got to my soul. They made me into nothing. They ran some destruct program on me. It was like the worst bullying. Some of them were malignant but even the nice ones thought they had to do this because they had been taught to build a healthy person they first have to destroy the old one. I couldn't sleep, I had akathisia from the med. I had collected several new mental illnesses because the therapy and the meds. I was a MESS.

Now I realized the treatment I wanted would not help because I had all the other stuff to deal with first. I had to rebuild myself, try to survive, try to apply for welfare since the stress made me drop out from school and I was unable to work. They ruined my education and I now have tons of student loans to pay off from my disability check.

They gave me depression, new anxieties, paranoia, social phobia, ruined self esteem and much more.

Then they finally told me I could get the grant but by then I had nowhere to live and had to leave that city and the grant was tied to it.

I hope they all rot in hell for what they did.

I don't really know. I mean, I've done all the therapies (pretty much) that I am 'eligible' for given my 'diagnosis' and found that long before I was ever 'granted access' into them I had already found my own way to cope with the **** life deals me. It's not that I don't use the tools. It's not that I don't take the meds. It's just that none of it does a damned bit of good and I have a hard time not being bitter about that, especially in light of others' success stories. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy people get better. I just wish it was me.

Well, it usually wasn't really my choice, as I was a minor when I got most of my treatment. Though sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not been put in the hospital at age 15. It seems like that was when my issues really started. I was a mess before and after, but before my first admission I was a functional mess. I went to a school that was small, but still considered a mainstream school full time and got decent grades. When I was in the hospital the first time they messed with my meds and it made me flip out. And I've never really been fully functional since. The only reason I finished high school was that I was in a residential school that gave you credit for not causing a disruption during "school". Since high school I have never worked more then 12 hours in a week or taken more then 1 college class at a time without having an epic breakdown. I don't know what happened during that summer where I was first admitted (3 times in 2 months) to cause it, but I know it was about that time.

I don't regret it but I do wish it had been more effective. Hang in there!

I do regret it some. Ultimately, the entire endeavour was just a waste of money, plus whatever damage from all the medications.

Maybe we need a website or blog where people can post about their unfortunate experiences? Not to scare people away from therapy but right now it is "client beware" and there is no booklet detailing the harm that can happen.

What has been most troubling for me was the discounting and put-downs, which I was in no shape to be able to handle, which is part of why I went to therapy. I went back to talk to one therapist after I had been in therapy for several years with my current therapist and he discounted his own response of putting me down in group by saying that he felt attacked by me and that therefore his response was normal. Since I was trying out new behavior and had announced that I was going to several months previously (though I didn’t know exactly what the behavior was, that’s why I was going to try it out), I did not know (exactly, with full consciousness) that he would/might feel attacked. His put-down, and the fact that I did not understand what I had done to cause it, sent me into a horrible tail-spin, damaging several close relationships. Yes, I know that it was my own behavior that did the damage but, again, because of the overloaded tail-spin that I was in I was not able to think clearly and did not know that I was potentially damaging something.

There's been a lot written about "toxic" shame and its sometimes contagious effects. Maybe somehow we need to highlight the real damage it can do to clients' lives when, already vulnerable, we "catch" it.

Yes. many times!

Just an example. Sexual abuse as a child was uncovered. My memories are bits and pieces.. SO the T says, oh you weren't sexually abused, he just masturbated on you. I don't know if the guy masturbated on me or not, but I guess if the T says that is what happened, then that is what happened... THen I get to listen for one full session how his favorite uncle is in jail for molesting children. The T was sooo mad that his uncle wasn't getting any kind of help. I had to sit there and listen for 45 full min about how sad and awful that his uncle is in jail.... Can you believe I paid this guy? If this is what therapy is, then I don't need it..

That is totally awful. He JUST masturbated on you??? What is that if not sexual abuse? Your T seems to have ulterior motives. He seems as if HE is in denial. JMHO, but there are T's out there who will validate you and not throw you to the wolves for THEIR unresolved issues. I would hesitate about seeking a therp if I had this guy as well. Best of luck.